Chapter Thirty-seven

Elia

My hand is gripping hard onto the knife as I look up straight at pictures of Elis and Rose. They are both laughing and smiling at each other as he has his arm wrapped around her waist; pulling her close.

For some reason, my heart continues to ache.

''God fucking damn it,'' I mutter under my breath. Without me realising, I have already thrown the knife straight towards the board against the wall; trying to find some sort of distraction but it's not as easy.

''You're a fucking idiot, Elia. Why the fuck would you let your girl be with your fucking brother? Fuck. Just tell her the truth, run away with her and bam, you get her for the rest of your life. Fuck it,'' I mutter to myself before standing up and picking up my coat. As soon as I turn towards the door, I see one of Alessia's men standing there; looking straight at me.

''What do you want?'' I ask, harshly. They've been keeping an eye on me for the past few weeks and it has been irritating the hell out of me. I feel like shooting onto their heads and watch them fall onto the ground so that I can get them over with.

The thing is that, Alessia won't let my men enter my office. They are allowed to be in the building but they can't be in my department, my office or anywhere near me in this building. Who the fuck does she think she is? She may have helped clear my name from the list but fucking hell, she can't control my life.

A lot has happened for the past eleven months, other than the fact that I've been fucking with Alessia. Look, I don't want to lie and say that I don't find myself lusting over her but that's the thing, we just fuck. There's a whole lot of difference between fucking someone due to lust and making love. A whole lot.

Yeah, she's sexy as hell and the way she walks would make any men go crazy; not me. I'm utterly disgusted by the fact that I wasn't able to push away her pathetic temptations but I couldn't help it, she wants me. For some reason, I don't feel a slight sympathy for using her in order to fulfil my satisfaction. She wants me to use her and so I did, I used her. Still do.

Fucking her was great, she's a mindblower in bed but she's not the best. Well, she has been the one pleasing me. For instance, I have never went down on her like how I did with Rose; or Danielle. I find it hard to go down on a woman unless I love her. Going down on someone is not something that I take for granted.

Well, she has got to deserve it in order to earn it.

''You're not allowed to leave,'' The man replies and I immediately look at him, not satisfied by the fact that Alessia is not just trying to control my life but she's starting to control everything. I ignore him as I keep on walking towards the door, towards him.

''Move.'' I say, sternly. My whole body tenses when I find him standing still, not letting me leave the room. Within seconds, I am already pushing him and strangling him against the wall; showing my dissatisfaction and anger that I've been holding.

''If you haven't heard, I don't like it when people test my patience. I also don't like it when people disobey me because I can guarantee your death. Don't fuck with me, I can kill you and your family even if they are already dead to begin with. I'll just kill them again,'' My eyes looking straight into his and realising that I've been choking him; almost cutting his windpipe.

Just like that, I leave him on the floor, trying to catch up with his breaths as I continue to walk out of my office and straight towards the elevator but once I've reached the elevator, three of that bitch's men are standing there; blocking my way. My anger starts to raise again but before I can react, she steps out from the elevator, her dress tight around her hips and her waist; provoking men, ''Elia. I thought I told you not to leave. Why do you always disobey me?'' She asks.

''Get the fuck out of my way,'' I reply.

Her lips curving up into a smirk as she makes her way towards me before caressing the side of my cheek and running his thumb against my lower lip, ''Come on, baby. You fucking me last night was rough enough, you don't have to treat me the same.'' Her lips puckering to the front, causing me to glance.

''I'm leaving. Ask your men to fuck off,'' I demand before pushing away her hands from my body, not really liking her touching me; like I said, I use her for my own satisfaction, for my own pleasure and her touching me in general does not do any good.

''Do you still want to leave if you see her?''

My eyebrows furrow in confusion as I look into her green eyes, wanting answers. Then, she glances back at her men, ''Don't think that I'm stupid, Elia. You're leaving because of her. You're going back to her. So, being ahead of your pathetic fucked up plan, I decided to bring her to you. Isn't that a lot easier?'' She asks.

''What did you do?'' I ask, this time filling with concern because I know that she's capable of doing anything to hurt anyone; she may be looking like an angel from the outside but she's sure a satan on the inside. A fucking satan. ''The fuck did you do?!''

When I don't receive answers from her, I start to grip onto her throat before pushing her against the wall; causing her men to raise their guns towards me but I ignore as both of my eyes are focusing deeply into hers, feeling anger and hatred building up with a lot of tension. She looks down at me due to the fact that I've raised her up her feet, ''Tell me. Now.'' I add.

''Don't you dare lay a finger because I will fucking end you. I swear I will end your entire family so don't test me. I might as well kill your men,'' I grip harder but I start to let go once I see her face going pale; causing her to drop back on her feet, trying to breathe.

''Kill me and I'll kill her,'' She mutters.

''Where is she?'' I ask.

''Why should I tell you? Why should I fucking tell you because you're going to find out about it anyway. You do everything on your own and I sure do know that you can look for her by yourself. So, go ahead.'' She turns to look away and as soon as I step inside the elevator, I hear her say, ''Kill her.''

It doesn't take me long to enter my car and start the engine before pressing hard onto the gas pedal. I have to get out of here as soon as possible because I need to find Rose; I have to. My left finger types off a number and I start to wait for the other person to answer the call, ''Rose Thorne. ASAP,'' I say and I hang up.

After a few minutes of driving, I start to receive an email coming from the person I called; he has always done a great job at giving me informations

After a few minutes of driving, I start to receive an email coming from the person I called; he has always done a great job at giving me informations. He finds the people that I need in a blink of an eye because it's something that he does and his payment is not low either. My eyes read off from the screen before driving towards the destination.

''Please, be okay.'' I breathe.

Going through the speed limits, I don't really seem to care much; especially at night. As long as I'm able to see her in a good condition and that I'll be able to set her free, that'll ease me. That will soothe me because then I would know that she will be safe.

Even though I'm going down the unfamiliar road but I don't mind as long as I'll reach her. My eyebrows furrow before pressing harder onto the gas pedal; wanting to make sure that she'll be safe. I'll confirm that she'll be safe.

I press hard onto the brakes once I've seen the warehouse, slamming the door shut and quickly making my way towards it—seeing that there are no lights in this area including inside the warehouse.

Being here recalls back another memory of mine, when I joined the mafia; everything was chaos. People wanted me dead, just like how they wanted me dead months ago. So, I proved them wrong. I made myself strong—wanted to prove them that I'm capable.

Mostly because of the pain I've held inside.

I push the door open, slowly before seeing Rose in the middle; being tied onto a chair—her head down, facing the ground; making me turn to look around as I make towards her, wanting to get her out of here.

Once I'm close enough, she starts to look up at me; causing my body to freeze at the sight of her eyes. They are red in tears, showing that she has been crying her eyes out for the past few hours. I examine her face and down to the areas of her skin, seeing that there are no bruise to be found, relieving me slightly.

She looks straight at me, watching me untying the rope behind her; letting her hands set free. My eyes won't look up at her because it terrifies me—it scares me to see the pain that she went through, all the misery that I've put her in. I don't want to see them.

Feels like I should be dead.

Should've let them kill me.

''You're going to be okay. I'm getting you out,'' I mutter as I slowly pull the tape on her mouth; and within seconds, I find her opening her mouth. My eyes are focusing onto her, waiting for her to speak.

''No. Why did you come here? They're coming for you. Leave, they want to kill you. Elia, just—'' I cut her off by cupping onto her face, seeing that she's already crying out the previous tears; making me frown. The look on her face shows worry, somehow not caring about herself anymore and just wanting to make sure that I'll make it out alive. Why would she care for me?

I've killed her.

Broke her into pieces. Slammed her heart.

''Not until I get you out of here. So, don't make it hard for me and just stop talking.'' I reply, throwing away the ropes around her waist before slowly picking her up, letting her stand. I have my arm around her waist; supporting her body, not wanting her to fall.

My eyes meet her in an instant, hypnotising me.

We both turn to look at the door, seeing that two men are pointing their guns at us as they start to run; making both Rose and I, turn around and quickly run down the other way. I have her running in front of me, wanting to make sure that if one of us ends up stuck here; it's going to be me. Not her.

Shots fired.

Raising our heart rates but we don't stop running. She glances back at the figures behind us; until we realise that we're actually running into the woods, not wanting to stop even if we might end up lost. Then again, I've been here before—years back.

Someone starts to attack us from the side; making Rose fall onto the ground, causing me to react. I grab onto the man that is currently gripping down onto her, pushing him away and throwing punches. We're both strangling each other—most likely killing.

He pushes my body back by the shoulder and I start to fall back, realising that he's going after Rose. I look down at his hand, seeing a pocket knife in his grasps; triggering my nervous system. My whole body reacts quickly—pulling onto the man once more.

All of a sudden, I find myself stabbing onto his lower abdomen; causing him to groan loudly in pain. He has both of his eyes looking straight at mine, making me see the last moments before his death. I've been through this a lot, seeing people as they drop dead down onto the ground, I don't seem to mind at all.

I glance up at Rose, her eyes looking down at the dead body as she tries to control her breathings. Without further ado, I grab onto her hand but just as we start to run deeper into the woods, I see someone aiming her from afar—making me push her away.

The bullet hits my shoulder instead.

It could've hit her head.

''Elia!'' She shouts, eyes wide as she turns to look at me; seeing that I am currently holding onto my shoulder, letting myself lose the amount of blood.

It's not a surprise to see her heading towards me in a hurry and quickly checking my condition, her eyes showing how she worries too much; almost making me sick of myself. Even if I continue to push her away, she will always come back; accepting me. Why?

I'm a fucking killer, for fuck's sake.

''We need to get out of here,'' I breathe. The pain on my shoulder starts to increase, interrupting my focus on her. To my surprise, she pulls me up by the waist while my other hand stays still around her neck.

We continue to walk until we finally see the road; flickering lights, showing that there are cars down the other side of the road—leading us out. Rose continues to help me by the waist but truth be told, I'm actually supporting my own weight, not wanting to burden her. Just, let her think that she's doing it.

I groan in pain as she lightly places me onto the ground before leaning my head against the wall; this side of the town is darker. No one comes here unless they're crazy as shit or high as fuck. My eyes remain still onto Rose, seeing her tucking strands of hair behind her ears; wiping her dirty hands onto her pair of jeans, before crouching.

She worries too much.

The frown in between her brows continue to appear yet there's not much that I can do; I can't act like everything is fine between us when we're far from fine. We're never fine to begin with, to be honest.

''What should I do?'' She asks, her face pale and her lips chapped. ''What should I do? I don't know what to do, I—I, should I call 911?'' Both of her eyes are wide while I continue to stare, not even caring for my condition. The pain on my shoulder has been bothering me but now they're fading, almost gone.

I clench my jaw as soon as I feel her looking for my phone in my pockets but I keep quiet, watching her take it out; it takes me awhile to also realise that her hands are shaking, making it harder for her to type.

''Fuck,'' She breathes out.

''Don't,'' I mutter. She looks up at me in surprise, not completely understanding why I'm holding her back. ''Don't call 911. I'm—not in good terms with them,''

It takes her a few seconds to understand but as soon as she does, she starts to sigh deeply. ''Then, who should I call? I really don't know. You have got to help me, Elia. You're bleeding,'' She continues to look down at my phone, scrolling down the contacts.

''I'm fine.'' I reply.

''You're fucking bleeding and you're fine?'' She asks.

She seems a little flustered as she ignores me, continuing to scroll down my phone before stopping; catching my attention immediately. I glance down at my phone, seeing that she's stopping at Elis.

Without wasting a single second, she presses call.

Great.

''Elis, it's me. I need your help,'' She starts to speak, ''Actually, we need your help—look, I'll explain everything when you get here. So—'' She stays quiet for a few seconds, ''—don't worry about me,''

Deep inside, my body is breaking; not because of her calling Elis but because of him actually worrying about her while I've only caused her trouble. She wouldn't be in this mess if I actually did stay away. The thing is, I can't—she's addicting.

''He's on his way,'' She ends the call.

Within seconds, her eyes meet mine; causing us to look into each other's eyes without any intention of looking away. Her eyes show a whole amount of sadness and I can tell, they came from me. I clench my jaw once more, holding back my own anger.

Towards myself.

''Don't look at me like that. I don't like it,'' She says.

''You used to like it,'' I reply and she rolls her eyes, ''But that's the thing. You used to. Things are different now, aren't they?'' She continues to look back at me, actually glad that she's not walking away and cause awkwardness between us; after all those months, we actually have the strength to talk again.

''Look, I don't know what you're thinking but I don't like it. I'm helping you because you got shot for me. You came all the way to save me so I owe you. Just, don't think that everything is fine. It's not,'' She says; her eyes are piercing into my soul. Yup. My soul.

''Nothing is fine, Rose. I know that now,'' I reply.

''What? You don't know anything. You barely know shit about anything. It's fucked up that I can't get over you even if I try but then again, I've crossed that impossibility. I've gotten over you, Elia.'' She assures, her words are cutting and stabbing me deeply; causing more pain than the actual cut.

''You need to let me explain,'' I breathe, almost begging for her to listen; we need to communicate.

''Explain,'' She says, her eyes tearing up.

For some reason, I can't really utter a single word. My lips are sealed shut—only letting my eyes focus onto her, not wanting to look away at anyone or anything else. Yet, I want to explain everything to her. Let her know and let her understand about us.

''Explain!'' She shouts, frustratedly.

To my surprise, she starts to look down onto the ground and crying out—causing me to feel my eyes tearing up too, not quite believing myself at the moment yet this is me, this is us. We're too fucked and broken that we actually feel all the pain.

''I love you,'' I lean to cup onto her face.

''Love doesn't fix us,'' She looks up, anger showing in her eyes as our faces are inches apart. I continue to wipe away her tears; not bothered if she might end up pushing me away. My hands continue to cup onto his face even though it hurts me to lean forward, causing more pain than before. ''If you love me, why did you let me leave? Why did you ask me to leave? Why did you want me to leave? What is it with you and leaving? What's so good about leaving?!''

''I love you. Don't do this to me,'' I beg.

My eyes are tearing up at the sight of her, now understanding why I should've been there for her so that she'll make it alive—so that she'll be able to move forward without a second glance behind. She needed me and I needed her but why didn't we stay?

''No. Don't do this to me,'' She stares into my eyes.