A King without His Queen
In a well-furnished modernly decorated masculine executive office, sat a rather huge man in a majestic chair. He had been swirling in his chair absentmindedly for almost thirty minutes now with his eyes shut. A knock come from the door making the huge man halt his swirling movement.
Lorenzo adjusted his stance as he sat up properly in his chair and stopped turning to face the door. He had opened his eyes which now reflected a hard and cold gaze. "Come in." Lorenzo called with a gruff voice. A pretty woman came into the office.
Her six inches heels clicked on the smooth office tiles until she stepped on the red carpet close to the desk. The office was humongous for one person, but this huge space was for an equally "huge" man, so it appeared rather ordinary.
Maya swayed her hips seductively from side to side as she walked towards the middle of the room where the working desk was. She was hoping to gain her boss's attention, but the man's gaze was firmly fixed onto the papers in his large hands.
"I am sorry for interrupting your work sir, but I came to remind you about the opening events of the famous artist and pianist 'MINE'. You and Miss Arya are to be the guests of honors and it would be ill of you to miss it." Maya did her best to make her seductive voice as pleasing as possible.
Lorenzo looked up at his secretary for a second before he turned his gaze back to the paper. "Thank you. You can go back to your work."
He had almost forgotten about the art event that would take place the next day. It was only a Thursday, but he was already suffering from a severe hangover after the previous night of partying.
Maya was hesitant to leave but she had been dismissed hence she walked away with a hint of disappointment on her pretty face. The office door closed with a soft thump, and all became silent once more. Lorenzo closed the document that he had been pretending to be busy with and he let out a groan.
It had been two years since he last had a peace of mind. He misses her a lot. He missed everything about her from the root of her ginger hair to the tip of her dainty toes. His lovely Jasmine. Only that he never treated her like his own, more like a prized possession.
Lorenzo closed his eyes once more as memories of his beloved filled his head. It was love at first sight for him, yet he tried extremely hard to hide it to an extent that he lost touch with reality. Jasmine came into his life like a storm and turned his world into a topsy turvy state.
The sound of her laughter still echoed in his head. Those exquisite, dimpled cheeks were his favorite things to squeeze. She made him feel loved and at home. She was his home, whereas of course he didn't treasure her presence thinking that she would forever be there. His taking her for granted was one such losses from reality.
Jasmines silly jokes had made him love her deeper, but how silly of him. He had believed that being macho would make her love him more, alternatively, it only instigated fear of him in her heart. Another loss from reality. He had hurt her beyond any forgivable means, yet she had stayed by him until the very end when she became intestate.
"Jasmine!" He moaned painfully.
His beautiful baby. A tear slipped out of his eyes as he recalled Jasmines harsh final words to him.
"You took my pride, as a woman. My dignity as a feeling human and my life as a person. As though that was not enough, you broke my will to live. You didn't just break my heart. NO! You did more than that!"
"You made me love all of you until I surrendered everything to you but then, you toyed with me like a cat playing with its food. I did everything for you. I gave up my life for you and in return you gave me nothing but pain after pain. You cut my heart into pieces day by day by your very hand!"
"I loved you to an extent that I thought it would be enough to compensate for your absent feelings. How stupid and naïve I was! The ultimate betrayal was what you did yesterday. You sold me to your friends just to secure a deal. You let your friends' toy with me like you always do."
"I believe that you have gained everything you ever wanted. Now that I have nothing else to offer you. I loathe you. I will never forgive you and I promise that what goes around will surely come around. Unfortunately, I won't be around to find out. I wish you a happy life regardless, for I don't want to act like you do!"
From then on, her once bright, emerald eyes had become lifeless until she committed suicide. Her blood had soaked the road as the heavy traffic came to a standstill. It was the color of her blood painting the black tarmac red that had made his heart stop. As he held her in his hands that marked the first day that he felt empty.
His tears flowed freely as his hand stretched and touched a button below his desk shutting the world off. The automatic blinds in his office covered the transparent glass and darkness shrouded the room. His breath become labored as images of her bleeding body taunted him.
"I am sorry my love. Forgive me dearest beloved. I am sorry." Lorenzo chanted his apology like a mantra as though it would bring her back to life. If only he was brave or manly enough to love her openly without any prejudice. If only he could turn back time.
The pain brought by her death was still fresh in his mind even though two years had already passed. The emptiness she had left behind he had tried hard to fill with parties, alcohol and he even tried to fill the gaping hole with lots of one-night stands, but they only relived his pain and made him forget temporarily.
It was precisely this reason that had made him abandon his home. No. His house which he had lived with his flower. He saw her face in every corner of that house. Wherever he turned, he would see her face. She had made his cold house into a warm place that he learned to call a home.
She had given him love like he had never been given before. It was a selfless love where she made all the sacrifices and never expected anything in return from him but his love. He still failed to give her even that though.
She had made him her king and had humbly served and submitted to his every manly whim. He had been too lost in her giving such that he forgot to give back. He had ended up treating her as his servant instead of his Queen. He had mistaken her willing submission for a natural occurrence thinking that he was more superior.
"My love, I miss you so much. I am a foolish and selfish man that has remained with everything that means nothing to him. This foolish King you made, suffers without his Queen. The only one that could fill the emptiness in his life, heart, and soul. The only one whose touch could imprint itself in his soul. I am sorry baby."
Lorenzo cried until there was no more tears left to shed. He stood up from his desk and turned the lights on. His drained figure staggered towards the office washroom where he cleaned up and emerged five minutes later like nothing happened. He resolutely sat at his desk and started working hoping that this night would not be a long one, like it always was when he was not drunk.
He needed to be in the best shape possible for the art event, hence there would be no liquor, no sex or party for him. With these thoughts in mind, he immersed himself in his work like the workaholic that he had now become. No longer the lazy playboy, who broke people's hearts left and right, like he had done with Jasmine.
Sometimes,we love too much that we forget to love ourselves. We become blind ro the hurt that we receive with hopes of wanting to give until we have nothing else to give. Loving is alright but we should always love ourslves more.
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