Chapter two

All I could see was darkness, till I heard a scream, the scream sounded familiar. I knew the person. Instantly, it clicked and I began to struggle. I was tied up.

I tried to free myself, to save him. The cowardice in me just did not want to let me go.

"No!! I am coming, Mickey." I screamed but instead of me hearing his voice, I heard a cold sinister laughter. One I would recognize anywhere.

"You are too late Lily! You allowed him to die." The voice said to me and I screamed while putting my hands on my head, no it was not possible. I was still hearing his little screams, which still gave me hope.

"No! That is not possible, excuse me." I said as I tried to push the person and pass but they held onto my hands and refused to let me go. I was panicking.

"You are going nowhere! It is already too late for him." The voice said to me but I did not want to agree, I pushed and twisted as much as I could till it eventually ended up with me breaking into tears.

"Please let me go, please let me save him," I said as I fought but the person would not let me. Eventually,I felt myself fading.

*Lily.* I heard my name being called gently, slowly pulling me back into the conscious realm. Finally, I opened my eyes to see my mother seated on my bed. She had a worried expression on her face which broke my heart.

"Mom." I said as I sat up, my hands still trying to wipe my tears off.

"Baby we need to take you to a therapist." My mother said with a worried voice as she held onto my hands.

"No ma, I told you I do not need one." I protested as I tried to calm down. My heart was beating so fast and I felt like I could faint.

"Really? This has been going on for a year Lily! We can not just keep quiet and let it continue." My mother said with an angry voice as she forcefully slammed her hands on the table.

I understood, she was very pissed. Who would not be? I had these dreams every night for the past year, the incident was still crystal clear in my head and it was not allowing me to live peacefully.

"Mom, we do not even have enough money for ourselves to talk less of a therapist? Do not worry ma, I will just take the pills." I said as I stood up and walked towards the small table in my room.

My pills were there with a glass of water as always, I had been taking them for a year but things did not seem to get better. Instead, I felt worse and worse with each passing day.

"You are traumatized Lily, you feel guilty and you need help! We can not keep trying to fix something so serious with a bunch of pills." My mother said with a serious voice as she stared at me upset.

She was trying to hide her emotions, she was very bad at that though.

"Mom, I understand , okay? But these pills help me." I said as I dumped one in my mouth and used the water to swallow it.

My hands had stopped shaking, but I still knew that I was not in the right state of mind.

"You will never listen. Come here let us pray." My mother said to me and I ran and took a seat.

I loved praying, well I was a Christian so it was not absurd at all. Each time I prayed after this experience, the Lord always gave me peace.

I sat down and closed my eyes as mom held my hands.

*Father, we have come to you once again to tell you we are grateful. For always being there for us, taking care of us and providing for us. We thank you. Lord, I pray that if there was anything we had done to warrant your anger, we pray you will have mercy on us. I want to bring before your throne this night, your daughter Lily lord. You know what happened, you know what she is going through, you know how the agents of darkness do not want to let her have peace, oh Lord we pray you will bless her with your everlasting love and peace. Give her the strength she so desperately needs, thank you Lord for answering our prayers, in Jesus name…* my mother prayed and I responded.

*Amen.* I said as she reluctantly let go of me. She was still very worried, and I knew of it.

I did not want her to worry, but at the same time I could probably not stop her from worrying. She felt Just as guilty as me for what happened that day, if not worse.

"Ma..do not worry about me okay? I am a big person, so now I'm going to bed. We have prayed and God has answered so do not worry." I said with a smile as I hugged her.

I could feel and hear her sigh of defeat as she reluctantly agreed.

"I will still come back to check on you though." My mother said as she stared at me with worry.

I nodded. " Yes Mom, I know but for now go rest. You are still going to have to go to the bakery tomorrow, so rest okay?" I said with a commanding manner and she nodded and walked away closing the doors behind her.

Once she was gone, I let out the breath I had been holding. Tears fell from my eyes as I lay on my bed staring up at the ceiling.

This was all my fault, what happened that day was all my fault. I could have done something but I was scared, I was a coward! I was selfish. The memory never stopped coming and I felt choked.

*Lord, will I ever stop feeling guilty?* I said with a low voice as I turned to the other side, allowing the memories to hunt me, I could not fight them off either way.