A final farewell

My dear bear,

Are you okay? Is it wrong for me to ask this, my dear bear? If I asked you to forgive me, would you forgive me? You might be scolding me now. your cheeks are puffy and you must be rolling now. By the time you read this, it must have been two months since I left you. I'm sorry for not telling you. My bear baby. You are the most precious meeting in my life. But the time I could spend with you was less. I should have told you this the first day I met you. But I didn't want to say the same thing looking at your innocent face. Because of my pancreatic cancer, my life was shortened, my dear bear. How can I tell you that I'm leaving you? I cried every day since I met you. Because I wanted to live with you for a long time.

Even though I told you that I was 3 years older, you told me "Don't think about it. I want to be happy with you". I want to see every day, Look at the beauty of the dimple when you smile. See how you can make your own hair that blows in the wind. I had a lot of things to do with you, my dear, but didn't have enough time for your Zengyu Nuna. I'm very sorry. I'm writing this to you an hour before I stop breathing. Maybe some letters in this letter will be blurred when you receive it.

My bear baby. Here in this parcel is a beautiful dress that I bought for you. If possible, will you come to my grave to see me once? Am I selfish, my bear? Stop crying now. Your face is very red. My bear, you are crying like a baby.

When you say you love me in Namsan, I don't answer because I love you. So don't be angry with me. Can you come and say goodbye to me? When you come to see me, can you bring a bunch of daisies?

Don't cry my baby bear. Be happy with your sister like a good boy. Thank you for filling my heart with love before I die. Then I will stop. It's time for me to go. Be careful my bears.

Your very own Zengyu

Wrapping that paper in my hand, I screamed and started crying. Zengyu wrote my heart every word. I had been thinking about her wrongly for a long time and it didn't take me long to realize. I looked at the T-shirt she had on. A beautiful little bear cub was painted on it. At the end of it was written in small print the name "Zengyu's bear cub". I could not stop my tears.

"Mingu, please take me away now. Please, my legs don't feel alive, please, Mingu, help me."

I held Mingu and cried loudly. I hugged Mingu and cried until I felt tired. When the dead sun was setting, Mingu and I went to Zengyu's burial ground with my sister. My legs are numb. I was heavy in Mingu's hands and walked. When I saw her grave, I knelt there without knowing it. Tears began to fall from my eyes when I did not know him. The bouquet of flowers that I brought was placed by my trembling hands near her grave. I have no voice to scream and cry. After looking at her for a while, I said goodbye to her. But I made more space for her in my heart than ever. I realized that destiny doesn't allow some love stories to be completed.

"Dear Zengyu this lovely poem for you. Wait until I come for you."

It will be dark in the evening, so don't go alone

If you want to go further, don't come back

Alone when lovers sit crying in flower gardens

Did you also cry when it rains, the lake is round for me

So fly in this sky if you can before the moon and stars disappear

Tears fell freely, unbidden, untamed,

As the bouquet of love, in your memory, I named,

No words, no cries, could express the grief,

For a love too brief, too tender, too brief.

I whispered goodbye, a parting embrace,

But in my heart, I reserved you a space,

For some love stories, it seems, must dwell,

In the whispers of memories, we cherish and tell.