Memories Of A Human

Chapter 7 - Memories Of A Human

Written By Curiostyx

<Narrator's Pov>

"Wha...?" A Red-haired Man of Irish descent muttered as he awoke in a dimly lit prison cell.

"Oh, right... I'm an Oreo now..." He commented as he lightly grasped his new garments, which were nothing more than a black-and-white prisoner uniform.

"Sigh... It really wasn't worth it..." He muttered as he reminisced about his crimes.

"Oi..." He suddenly heard a whisper from the shadows.

"AHHH, HELP THERE'S A PREDDITOR IN THE LOOSE!" I screamed as I jumped to the cell gate, banging on it frantically.

"What the fuck mate, I was just trying to talk!" The other prisoner complained as he came out of the shadow. He was what seemed to be a 40-year-old man with a rugged appearance and a nasty scar running from his right eye to his neck.

The man spoke with a British accent.

"...HELP, THERE'S A BRITISH MAN ON THE LOOSE!" He frantically shouted as he banged on the gate even louder.

"Oi, aren't ya I'rish? aren't we supposed to be brothers or whatever?" He asked the scared redhead.

"HELP, THERE'S AN ALABAMAN ON THE LOOSE!" The Redhead shouted as loudly as possible.

"Okay, okay... Calm down! I ain't gonna do nothin' freaky to ya, 'kay?" The Man stated.

"Stay back! You Leaf-soup-loving, Man-stabbing, Mouth-smelling, Artifact-stealing, Tophat-tipping, Freedom-hating, Monarchy-supporting Nonce!" The Redhead said as he readied a fighting stance against the abominable creature known as a British Man.

"Hey, that's just super racist... Besides, Tea isn't soup-"

"It is"

"..."

"Ah, ok... So uh, care to introduce yourself?" The middle-aged prisoner asked the younger redhead.

"Sure, Name's Aiden, Aiden Vilscum" Aiden introduced.

"...Is that you're actual name?" The older man questioned with a peculiar gaze.

"It in fact is... My parents were 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 comedic in their naming sense, Their actual last names were Huntington..." Aiden replied.

"Huh cool, the name's Joey by the way" Joey revealed.

"Last name?" Aiden questioned.

"My actual full name is Joey Johnathan Joshua, though everyone just calls me Triple-J" Joey stated.

"Triple-J? that's kind of cringe, I'll just call you Jojo" Aiden responded.

"Whatever ya want, Aiden boy... Hey, watcha in for anyways?" Joey asked.

"Err... I'd rather not talk about it..." Aiden replied.

"C'mon now, spill the beans. I'll have ya know beans is ma favorite food!" Joey said.

"Well... If you like beans so much, why don't you share me some of your beans first, eh? Bean Barter?" Aiden proposed.

"Bean Barter it is then... Me and the Boyz were very very wild back then, we robbed a lot of money from the bank, then we gave that money to the bank again! They were so confused that we just had to take the chance, and we did. Whilst they were too distracted by the returned money, we cooked a nice and nourishing breakfast for the bankers!" Joey spilled.

"Too bad the food was drugged, hehehehe!"

"While the bankers were knocked out cold, we made sure to wet their socks!"

*LOUD GASP*

"Then we put their unconscious heads on the warm side of the pillow!"

*LOUDER GASP*

"Then we put sand inside their clothes, HAHAHAHA"

*EVEN LOUDER GASP*

"Y-You monster! H-How could you do such a thing..." Aiden shouted as he was practically shaking in the boots.

"Well, what about your beans?" Joey asked.

"Attempted Mutiny, High Treason, Human Trafficking, Terrorism, Arson, Crimes Against Dignity, Animal Abuse, Attempted Omnicide, Manslaughter, Homicide, Galeocide, Animal Trafficking, Drug Possession, Drug Distribution, Zero Degree Murder, Poaching, Crimes Against Fashion, Attempted Matrix Breaking, Theft of National Treasure, Bribery, Extreme Fraud, Money Laundering, Terrorist Financing, Crimes Against Reality, Assault, Annihilation of Innocent Minds, Oh and did I mention Arson?" Aiden stated.

"Tch, Amateur... My friend Bob has more crimes on his record!" Joey responded.

"Cool"

-+-+-+-

<Joey's Pov>

My new roommate is quite strange, I think his head is a little fried or something. Sometimes, he would talk to himself loudly, asking strange questions, bantering, and insulting. It was as if he was talking to someone else, but there was no one in the cell aside from us.

But he was also quite charming and humorous, there wasn't even a second of boredom after he was transported here.

Nevertheless, there was still something odd about him, something that I can't seem to figure out...

Whatever lunch's coming in a few minutes, I better tell my new roommate.

"Hey, lunch is gonna come soon, let's go," I said.

"Kay"

As we made our way to the prison cafeteria, we were suddenly stopped by a blond-haired gal.

"Joey? is that you?" The girl asked me. It was Karen.

"Oh, God..." I couldn't help but mutter bitterly.

"Ha! Knew you would end up here!" She laughed.

"Hey, you're here as well and I'm certainly not surprised" I responded.

"Still the ol' Joe, eh? This why Lily left you, ya know-"

"Fuck off, Karen. No one asked for your company!" I shouted.

"Sheesh, So rude..." She said as she left for her own corner of the cafeteria.

"Who the hell was that?" Aiden asked.

"...It's complicated" I answered.

"Probably an annoying ex of something, right?" He stated.

"Nah, I would kill my dog and her puppies if I made that mistake..." Dating Karen? Fat Chance.

We then got our own food trays from the cafeteria, I had a Fish-sandwich and some mashed potatoes on the side. For the drink, I got some lemonade.

Aiden's tray was filled with a dozen or so Pies of varying flavors, and his choice of drink was a simple cup of water.

"Before we eat let's pray to God and appreciate the food he has given us!" Aiden didn't strike me as a religious person but it turned out that he was actually a devout catholic! although he was pretty far from the regular image of a Man of Faith.

"Sure, why not?" I was an atheist myself but I still respected his beliefs.

"BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD, SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!" Aiden prayed.

A truly enchanting hymn.

===

Inspiring Quote of The Day: In the end, nothing matters. So that's why you should make the most of everything!

Word Count: 1028