The way to control my magic?

As I was still standing in the middle of the field where two wolves had cleanly cut heads. The blood from the second wolf that was still on my face and its metallic smell made me think ever so fast. I was quite panicked. Well, I was extremely panicked. After all, I just lost memory of my fight and just easily killed wolves.

'Okay, I need to calm down and remember what happened there.'

{Ssssss. Are you okay, Eric?}

'Wait, Slyde saw everything so he can tell me what happened

{Yes I am fine. But I need to know what I did since I only remember that time seemed slow down while I was falling, and I was thinking about revenge.}

{SSSSssssss. I can't explain it that clearly. But once you were a second away from killing the first wolf you suddenly became a little crazy. Your face became unsightly. Your whole temperament changed from before calm and serious hunter. To a cruel killing machine. You mercilessly killed them. It even took a while for me to register what happened. But I think you should research what happened since once you went into that state you completely relied on your Muscle memory to kill. If you hadn't trained very movement so much before, you could be very much dead right now.}

After that, the conversation went on for around 30 minutes Slyde was giving his most detailed memory to Eric.

In the end, they concluded that the state may be related to his magic. Since even before when he was in the orphanage he felt extreme thoughts of hurting someone. But whenever he was so angry his magic reacted. And his increase in speed may have something to do with his magic becoming so active.

Eric was scaring himself a little. Based on what Slyde saw, he was like a psycho. He lost his mind and just used his instincts to fight. The more Eric thought about it the more realistic idea appeared to be.

'Am I sick in the head or something? Why was I so cruel? I don't understand.

Hmnn. But they deserved it. They dared to look down on me and toy with me. They tried to kill me. It's good that this fate met them. Maybe a should have tortured them a little when I was at it. Killing them so fast is a reward for them. I should have slowly cut their skin. One by one. I should have drilled a hole in their legs and forced them to run. Yeah, that's what I should have done. They deserved nothing more.'

More and more ideas came to me like a sea. Each idea is crueler and eviler than the one before.

Suddenly I felt something cold but familiar going through me at a slow speed. I started to remember the scene of the fight.

I remember how cold and sharp magic went into every cell of my body in an instant when my state switched. the magic made me so fast. So powerful. It was a wonderful feeling.

'Why is that? What happened every time my magic got active? Was I desperate? Was I hoping someone would save me? No.'

I understand it now. Well after thinking about it for more than an hour it would be weird if I haven't figured a single thing out.

Whenever I get evil, cruel, vicious, malicious thoughts, my magic will become more active.

'In the orphanage when I finally thought about killing everyone only then my magic activated. When I wanted nothing more than to kill the wolves. My magic activated.

It looks like I am psycho. But if it gives me power, I will happily be the cruelest psycho that ever existed.'

' There were also different kinds of magic. There was a warm magic that healed me and acted more on what I wanted.

Then there was cold magic. If I remember correctly it was that magic that helped me in the fight with the wolves. And it was this magic that activates when I am trying to kill. Maybe, only maybe, I would be able to control that power if I have cruel and vicious thoughts.

I need to try that out! If I am right I will become many times more powerful. I won't need to fear other non-magical humans as much. '

It was a long episode but it went through my head in less than a second. I was still standing near the two wolves. If someone else saw a child like me standing near their corpses with blood on my face and bloodied dagger they would probably have nightmares for a few weeks.

As I looked at their corpses I tried to imagine how they looked at me before. Anger appeared again in my heart. It was not as big as before but it was still great. I tried to remember more vividly how they looked at me. How they even thought I was so weak that one would be enough to kill me. I once again wanted more power.

The anger deep in me was condensing more quickly. I felt like I want to kill them. Not that they were alive anymore.

I repeated words in my mind just to try if the Cold magic would really activate.

'I want to kill them. I want to kill them. I want to kill them. I want to kill them' I repeated again and again.

And I really felt it. A thin thread of cold magic spread through my body. My reflexes were faster and more precise. My thoughts were faster. And this was only a little thread of that power. Far from what I had before in that killing state.

But that was enough for me. I now knew what to do to get stronger.

And suddenly. My mind started wavering. It felt like the instincts to kill were taking control. I felt more and more power. The comfortable feeling of getting more power made me let my guard down.

More and more threads of cold magic started connecting my body. I was suddenly out of control. A cruel smile appeared on my face again. The face of a maniac. But I didn't feel anything bad. Although I was out of control it felt like just another part of me was controlling my body. It didn't feel strange. It was weirdly pleasant. It felt like my thoughts were being answered. My deepest desires of mine were coming out. It felt so good that I didn't try to resist it.

All this happened in less than a minute. The more I let my desires out, the more power I got, it was great. But I suddenly felt like something was wrong.

Right beside me from a bush a big black bear jumped on me with its speed and weight supporting its strength. Its momentum could make a dent in steel easily.

I was still holding my dagger in my right hand. My face was creepily happy at this moment.

When the big bear was less than 50cm away from crushing me. I instantly looked into its eyes and saw fear. It was probably regretting its decision. Because my killing intent in my eyes made it clear that it won't leave alive today. Since it dared to attack me. It must also dare to die.

My right arm like lighting went towards the bear's face. While that was happening my legs already moved me to a different position. I was beside the jumping bear. Totally dodging the bear attack. But my arm stayed in the same position.

As the bear finally noticed that I dodged, my dagger was already in its eye. As the bear had great momentum, while in the air it couldn't suddenly stop. The sharp dagger went from its eye to its ass. Everything was torn apart. And I haven't moved my arm a little. It was like a kid jumping onto a dagger killing itself.

As I was enjoying this sensation of killing, something from the bear again left and seeped inside me. But I was not paying attention to that. Not that I was in control anyway. I stepped into deeper parts of the forest trying to find more bears to kill. Leaving a big corpse behind.

The legends say that more than 100 big bears died in that single day. All dying cleanly but cruelly.

--------------------------

One year later.....

As I woke up with Slyde as always on my belly enjoying itself. I got up and looked around in my hut.

'Ah, it's already more than a year that I spent inside this forest. I think it's the best time to finally look into Hogwarts. '