Eternal Schemes

"As for where you are," she turned to Harry, "You were correct when you said it reminded you of where you met that old goat, Dumbledore. Idiot shouldn't have been there last night, anyway. It was supposed to have been your mother. Conniving, manipulative bastard got those twinkling eyes onto his guardian angel and wham…he gets to greet you. Got the entire Guardian Angel department in an uproar."

"My mother?" Harry asked.

"Yes, Lily Evans Potter," Miranda replied obviously still annoyed. "And as to where you are, this is like an antechamber to our Realm; I guess what you would call Heaven."

"So we are dead?" Hermione asked.

"Oh no, you're not dead, but we gods, and those who have passed on, cannot go back to the physical world. We can only interact in this place between the two," Miranda explained. "Of course I've been tempted to kill the both of you for the last five years. Do you know how many times I've had to regrow my hair because you caused me to pull it out by the roots?"

"Uh...no," Harry replied nervously. "How did we do that?"

"By not giving each other a kiss on the lips and getting your souls bonded many years ago as it was supposed to have been. I mean really, every year, year after year. It really has been very...annoying."

"What do you mean?" Harry asked. "And what is this soul bond?"

"I mean, I've set you two up time and again to kiss. Your first year, I know, eleven and twelve is a little young, but when it comes to soul bonds the earlier the better you know, gives you time to grow into it," Miranda explained. "Now where was I? Oh yeah, your first year, Hermione, you had your arms around him..." Miranda mimicked with her arms outstretched. "ALL you had to do was say the words I gave you. Do you remember them? Friendship, and Bravery, AND LOVE. WHY DIDN'T YOU FINISH IT! Harry would have kissed you at that moment."

"I..well, I thought it would embarrass him," Hermione said, remembering the word she was going to say to him all those years ago. "He would have kissed me?"

Miranda mumbled to herself for a couple of seconds before replying. "Yes, he would have. Harry had never been told he was loved. At least, he doesn't remember it anyway. His mother and father said it quite often," Miranda shook her head before she glared at Hermione again. "If you had brought that word out...LOVE...he would have given you a small kiss."

"Oh, I didn't know."

The Goddess of Love rolled her eyes. "They never know. I can hit them with a stick with the word 'LOVE' written on it, and they still never know," She muttered. She then look back at Harry and Hermione, "And that second year..."

Harry had opened his mouth to say something.

"No, kissing someone when they are petrified does not count," Miranda said to him. "They have to KNOW they're being kissed."

Hermione whirled around to face Harry. "You kissed me when I was petrified?"

Harry blushed as he nodded. "I...uh…well all the fairy tales said if you kiss the beautiful girl she wakes up...so...I thought maybe if I kissed you..." Harry shrugged as his blush grew deeper, remembering that time when he was so young. "I...I know it was stupid but...I shouldn't have. I'm sorry."

Hermione smiled at Harry. "Don't be. I just wished I had known."

"What good would that have done?" Miranda asked, "A month later you rushed into his arms when you were unpetrified, and I thought for sure the kiss was coming, but no, not a single bloody kiss."

"We were in front of Ron and the whole Great Hall," Harry exclaimed.

"Oh, don't get me started on the red heads, either of them. Just don't go there," Miranda said with a glare.

"Ron and who? Ginny?" Harry asked.

"Yes, those two, but I'll come back to them in a few minutes," Miranda said.

"Now where was I? Oh yes, third year, that incident with the broom. If that stupid red-headed idiot hadn't blown it out of proportion, your anger at Hermione would have went away very shortly. You'd have realized that it was her caring for you that led her to tell McGonagall.

I had a wonderful get back together plan that would have had you two sharing that first kiss. But, no, blast it. I was foiled again by the walking red-headed stomach. Then later, when you were off trying to rescue the hippogriff and Sirius; you had so many chances. I had my bottle of champagne ready to go…but no,"

She ran her fingers through her hair before she continued.

"I ended up ripping eight handfuls of hair out that night AND smashing the bottle of champagne on the floor," She glared at them again. "And it was bloody good champagne."

"Why do you keep insulting Ron?" Harry asked. "He's been a good friend."