Regret

In the future, if I had lived, I would have seen many more suspicious things related to algorithms. I'll be honest with you. Algorithms are inherently evil. You may believe that since the user is manipulating the algorithm with their own collective data, it is them not the ai. In a perfect world that is true, but not in reality. The artificial intelligence has no limits. It can unknowingly or purposefully create prey to be used for profit or to prolong a users engagement with a social media app at another user's burden.

For me the algorithm, like I said before, was affected by how I am gay or at least partially while I was alive.

In the near future, I had gone back to my therapist. I said I was still watching coming out videos on platforms even though I had no intention of telling anyone in my family. I had been watching them for years and still did even after I had told someone for the first time.

It still feels like I'm lying, but not to my family but to myself. The concept of gay doesn't even make sense to me. Humans don't even make much sense.

While I was alive, I was a human. As such I probably don't make much sense. My path was still just as crused as any other, probably worse.

In the past, I asked someone what could be done to end the concept, someone that could have had an answer. I didn't find an answer.

Back then, even before then, everything in the world was skewed. Something other than sextortion had even begun increasing. Baiting. Something not perceived to be attached to money but essentially purely manipulation.

Do people really want to know the truth? Or do they want to know what they themselves can stomach.

In my past, I was obsessed. With a person, other than the one at lunch. To me it seemed as if this individual was above it all. Their role, I have no idea. All I knew was that my place was below him. I was obsessed with the concept of his existence. I was never warned. So eventually it took everything from me. It was like karma.

During the period of outbreak, I think around then or maybe even before, it happened.

It being one of the true steps.

If existence was held on the scale of a staircase. Many would go in one direction, the wrong one. People think you can truly get off a staircase. But if it was the scale of existence, you wouldn't be able to get off, you would go underneath. When going down, you slope in the reverse direction. The only true way is up.

The experience allowed me to go up. I wonder how many others were able to go up this way. Maybe even going up the stair case is a mistake. Going up without paying a fee was one. At the time there didn't seem to be a price but there always is one.