Jealousy

ELLIANA'S POINT OF VIEW:

"I'm sorry."

Elliana looked confused as I apologized to her. "Why are you apoligizing?" She asked.

I can't tell her that I felt jealous towards her because of Noah and that's why I'm saying sorry.

I smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry I brought the doctor quite late. I should have brought him here sooner," I lied.

I really... can't tell her.

Krishiella smiled and said, "It's alright. I understand the circumstances earlier. There's no need to put the blame on yourself."

A weird sensation crept into my heart.

Guilt.

I feel guilty for lying to my best friend about this. She's too good and understanding. If I do tell her... she really might distance herself from Noah.

I also think that their feelings for each other might even be mutual. I have no right to interfere between them. No matter what she does, I will support her.

"Thank you. Anyway, I'll leave you be for now. You should get plently of rest so you'll feel a lot better tomorrow," I said as held her hand. "Please get well soon, Krishiella," I said as my grip on her hand tightened a bit.

She nodded a little and said, "Be on your way now. It's also quite late already." I nodded and let go of her hand. "I'll be leaving now. Rest well, your highness," I said and curtsied before leaving her room.

When I got out, the hallways were already dark. Only the moonlight and a bit of light from the few lamps were guiding me to walk back to my room.

The sound of my footsteps were echoing through the halls.

It's very quiet.

It's already past midnight. Of course, it's quiet. Everybody's already asleep.

I stopped walking and looked outside the window.

The moon is full and its shining so bright tonight.

Somehow, staring at the moon gave me a melancholic feeling. Suddenly, Noah's face popped into my mind.

I wonder if he's already asleep...

I clenched my hands into a fist and took a deep breath.

I should stop thinking about him. Thinking about him doesn't do me any good. No matter how much I like him, I still feel pained every time I see him staring or being with my best friend.

I suddenly remembered how they walked together earlier.

I feel so ashamed.

I'm ashamed because I feel this way when I know I shouldn't.

I feel jealous.

I faced straight and continued walking.

I should just head back to my room and go to sleep. I might find comfort that way.

*****

It's early in the morning and I'm currently in the academy's training grounds to do my morning exercise and practices.

I went to check on Krishiella before I headed out earlier, but she was still asleep. I'm planning to go and visit her again after classes today or if I have free time.

I tightened the grip on my sword and stabilized my breathing. As I slashed the sword through the air, I felt the gusts of wind from my swings touching my skin.

"Four hundred and ninety nine... Hooo..." I swung my sword. "Five hundred..." I swung my sword for the last time.

I was out of breath. I wiped my forehead with the back of my hand and smiled.

"I did great today," I muttered to myself.

After practicing my swordsmanship, I went back to the dorms and took a bath. I sweated a lot earlier, so I really felt refreshed after.

I dried my hair with a magic tool called hair dryer. After that, I wore my dress and tied my hair up.

My long red hair was still flowing on my shoulders even if I already tied it up. My pale skin looked bright even if I have a bit of dark circles under my eyes.

Dressing up like this really makes me look like... a lady.

Suddenly, the whispers that I hear from time to time played inside my head as if it's reminding me that I'm not a lady.

'Isn't that Duke Castiello's daughter?'

'I heard she's a swordsman.'

'No way! A lady shouldn't hold swords, let alone touch them.'

'She's very beautiful but she's a tomboy, haha.'

'Such a waste.'

'When will you ever act like a lady?'

I lowered my head and smiled bitterly.

That's right. I'm not a lady. I'm just a barbaric tomboy who likes swords and killing people. I'm nowhere near those beautiful women out there. My hands are rough from calluses and I also have countless of scars in my body. Very unbecoming of a lady.

I removed my dress and took out a dress shirt and a pants from my closet.

This. This is what I should wear. This kind of clothing suits me more.

I tuck the dress shirt inside my pants, grabbed a pair of leather boots and wore it.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror and thought that something was missing. It was like my outfit wasn't complete.

I then realized what I had forgotten.

My belt.

I opened the drawer and saw a silver belt with a minimal design. I took it out and wore it on my waist.

This is what the knights wear to show their ranks. 5th rank to 3rd rank knights wear bronze belts with their rank's number engraved on it, 2nd rank knights wear silver belts, and 1st rank knights wear gold belts. All belts have the knight's rank engraved on it with the head mage's mana so people will know that the person wearing the belt is a knight of an empire.

I'm a 2nd rank knight and a captain at the age of 18. This is something that I should be proud of, right?

I looked at my reflection in the mirror and felt satisfied with my look. Despite brimming with confidence and looking very charismatic, my eyes somehow looked dull.

"I should head out now," I muttered to myself as I fixed my clothes once again.

I hope this day goes well.