Chapter 9: T-minus thirty-six hours

Dear Diary

Prom is tomorrow night and I as much as I didn't think I would be getting excited for it, I am.

With Brian and I going, along with Mona, I feel good about my chances of having a good time. I told Mona about my fear of going to something made up entirely of the people that not only made up rumors about me all along junior high and high school but helped spread them as well.

Mona had assured me that she wouldn't leave my side and I knew Brian won't either.

Yesterday I did something totally opposite of myself.

I sent a selfie to my boyfriend of me in my prom dress-.

Yeah, I know, but he wanted to know what it looked like and I actually liked the way I looked in my dress.

Mona, mom and I had gone to the mall and found the perfect ones. Mona's fits her well, along with her personality. It's a burgundy sheath column off the shoulder floor length gown and it accents her skin and eyes well.

Mine, however, is a little more modest.

It's a pale pink illusion chiffon dress with ivory embroidery on the top. It was originally strapless, but I got mom to put some small spaghetti straps in since my cup size was a bit on the small side.

To say Brian was impressed would be the understatement of the year. It took everything in me not to let him come over. We have talked about it and decided that prom night was a good night to lose ourselves in each other. His parents sprang for a hotel for all of us since prom was over two hours away at a large indoor venue.

My parents were fine with it, although I did tell them Mona and I were sharing a room and Brian would be in a different room with one of his buddies. I hated lying to them, but this was something I didn't think they would want to hear about. I think they knew something was up when I told them I would be staying the night in a hotel with my boyfriend but in separate rooms.

Now, as I sit here, looking at the sun reflecting off the neighbors car, waiting on Brian's car to make an appearance in my driveway. The way it does every day. I think back on all my sorrow filled days of loneliness and bask in how I never have to feel that anymore.

Things are looking up.

- - - - -

"So, you excited for tomorrow?" I shake my head at Brian's question then burst out laughing when he looks at me with dismay.

"I am actually. I never thought I would want to go to my prom or graduation, but your making everything different Brian Davis."

I like when you say my whole name." I giggle when he parks then leans in to kiss me.

We just pulled up to school and are in his car waiting on the bell to ring like we often do.

Brian's lips form with mine and everything around us disappears. His tongue invades me next and I welcome it. The kiss begins to stir some hunger inside me as I pace my hands on his shoulders. His groans have my thighs rubbing together and I lean further into his grasp. The center console in his car, stops me from leaning even further into him and I smile when he practically hauls my body over it and onto his.

"You two getting all kinds of naked in there?" Brian and I break apart at the sudden intrusion of the banging on the driver's side window. I look past Brian while straightening my blouse and roll my eyes when I see Conner.

Conner is one of Brian's teammates, but I would call him more of a friend. He is a huge flirt and funny as can be but can be a bit annoying at times. He tends to say inappropriate things often but understands my boundaries enough. I don't know if that is Brian's doing or not, but I appreciate it none the less. Conner is good looking, blonde hair, green eyes, tall and built. He is practically a frat boy in the making.

"Get the hell out of here McLearly." Brian yells out while chuckling.

"Just saying-." Conner starts thrusting his hips into the car, causing us both to laugh and begin to get out of the car.

"Damn your quick Davis." Brian shoves Conner forward and we start walking into school.

"So, you guys ready to get your fuck on tomorrow?" I choke on his vulgar language and Brian pats my back.

Shut-up, man. Your making Jo hate you more."

"Didn't think it was possible." I nearly stop in my tracks and look into Conner's eyes.

"You think I hate you?"

"Well, we aren't all Derek Branders." Before I could say anymore Conner gets called by some girl in a skimpy jeans skirt and tube top. Conner gives us a wave and Brian and I continue walking. When we get to my first class I turn around before he shuffle off and address the obnoxiously large elephant in the room.

"What did he mean Brian?"

"Who?"

"Please don't play stupid with me. I'm not that kind of girl and you know it."

"Fine, I'm sorry, you're right. The other night when I saw you and Derek and thought the worst, I went home, and Conner showed up later that night wanting to hang out. We were outside shooting hoops when he asked me what was wrong. I told him what I saw, and what I thought."

"How could you do that Brian? How could you blurt out our relationship like that? Not only did you assume the worse about me, but you told the loudest mouth in the entire school." My anger is deafening right now. I don't hear anything going on around me except my rage towards Brian. How could he do this? How could he give the school one more thing to say about me?

"Jolie, I'm sorry. I was angry and upset and jealous. I saw you and Derek, and my mind just went in ten different directions. At the time I thought I was just venting. It didn't dawn on me that I told Conner until he mumbled what he did a few minutes ago. I would never do anything to hurt you."

I shake my head and try to contain the tears threatening to spill. I don't want to cry in front of him, I don't want to give him the satisfaction.

"How could you possibly think something happened between me and Derek?"

"Because he's an asshole." We both turn to Derek walking up the few steps to the front of the classroom where Brian and I are standing. Brian tenses up and I almost step in between the two. I don't want any fights, especially between these two.

"What the hell did you call me?"

"You heard me Davis. Your boy Conner already told everyone a few days ago about what you thought happened. I'm surprised it hasn't gotten to Jolie yet." Derek's eyes study mine for a moment. The process is unnerving as I look between the two men.

"Look, I already told Jolie that I was sorry but I'm not apologizing to your sorry ass. If you were in my shoes, you would be pissed too."

"Yeah I would, then I would suck that shit up because I would know my girl enough to know that she would never fucking do to that to me."

"Fuck you Branders."

"Brian, that's enough, you guys are causing a scene." I look around and see a few students who haven't yet made it to their classroom staring in our direction.

"Don't like people talking shit about me Davis. Get your insecurities straight man." Derek walks past Brian, nudging his shoulder on the way inside. I clinch my notebook closer to my body as Brian takes the hit but doesn't do anything in return. He looks to me and his face goes gentle.

"I'm sorry babe. I didn't mean for that to happen. I'll talk to Conner." I nod my head, just trying to get him to leave so that I can breathe. I don't want any drama and knowing I have to go inside to face what just happened with Derek has me on edge.

"Just go Brian. I'll see you at lunch." I walk inside just as I hear our tardy bell ring and sit in my seat. I can hear people murmuring my name from behind me and assume Amy and her band of misfits are talking about what just transpired outside.

Mrs. Boseman begins the class by taking roll and I hide further in my desk when I hear some gagging sounds once my name is called. A growl stems from beside me and I turn to see Derek giving them all an evil eye.

Half way through class Mrs. Boseman tells us that for our last assignment of the year she wants us to put together an algorithm that we have to get the class to solve. With only eight weeks left of school, this will be our only assignment. She begins announcing who is going to be in groups and my mind begins reeling.

Please don't be in a group with Amy, please don't be in a group with Amy.

"Dorent and Branders."

I blink a few times at the news that I won't be in a group with Amy, I'll be in a group with Derek. I look over to him and see his eyes roll and I imagine he isn't very happy that the one person causing all the rumors in his life right now, is the person he has to sit close to for the next few weeks.

"Alright class get into your groups and begin. I will be passing around a spreadsheet of the different kinds of examples you could use, but please, be creative." The class begins talking loudly as we make our way around the room for our partners. I don't have to move since mine is as close to me as he needs to be, but Derek refuses to look to me.

"Um Derek?" I wait patiently for him to turn but his face looks angry as he continue to face forward.

"Would you look at that, poor little Jolie can't even get her partner to talk to her. I honestly don't know how you got Brian to go out with you. Did you tell him you were on the make a wish foundation and only had a year to live? That's why isn't it? Charity. Poor Brian." The class begins chuckling as Mrs. Boseman tries to quiet us down.

"That's what all that commotion was earlier wasn't it? Brian wanted to leave you, but you gave him the pathetic look and he had no choice but to stay." More chuckling as I close my eyes at Amy's constant berating.

"God, it's no wonder no one here likes you. It would just make more sense for you to fall off the face of the Earth."

I squeeze my eyes shut and grip my notebook close to my chest as I listen to her go on and on. I think back on all the times she has bullied me, pulled pranks on me, pushed me against the lockers, placed mud or glue inside my backpack. Everything she has ever done has my anger busting at the seams.

"It's sad really. I hope you don't plan on going to prom tomorrow, it would be a shame for someone like Brian Davis to be seen with someone whose parents could barely afford her dress."

My anger snaps at her last comment. How dare she bring my parents up. I jump out of my seat, walk over to her, ignoring the sudden silence and gasps from everyone in the room. I can hear Mrs. Boseman calling my name but I ignore that too. My focus is solely on Amy and my hatred for her.

"Are you that damn pathetic that you have to pick on me all day, every day? Are you so miserable in your little life that you have to seek attention like some stupid whore?" People cough out their laughs and some even make the retched sound of O's, but I continue my rant.

"Amy, we were friends once, and for the life of me, I could never understand what I did wrong in your eyes. But you know what, I don't care anymore. You're a bitch. Your lonely and your angry that once high school ends in two months, you will just be that pretty washed up cheerleader that no one liked. You won't have any friends, and once again your life will be meaningless."

Amy narrows her eyes on me but before she could say anything, I say one last thing that has her jumping out of her seat.

"I'm not ashamed of my parents. Unlike you, my parents care for me. So, go on, Amy. Be like your mother and be a soulless pathetic, shell of a person that thinks cutting herself is the answer." I walk away at the sounds of her intake of breath. My body shaking so much I nearly stumble to the ground. I walk past Derek rolling my eyes at him and leave the classroom.

I don't look back to see if anyone is behind me. I don't look back to see if I am in trouble. I am leaving school and going home. I thought Derek was my friend, but he just acted like everyone else once the spotlight hits him around me. I thought Brian was my boyfriend, but all he did was act like a spoiled brat at mine and Derek's friendship. I am done with everything and everyone.

It's time for a change.