CHAPTER 25

LEUKAS

With the conversation between Lanthe and I pending, both of us weren't in much of a talking mood so I listened to Atlas and Jason discuss some politics while Lanthe tried to feed the baby who had woken up a little while after Jason and I headed back to the set dinner table. The tension on the table was palpable especially after Atlas and Jadon's conversation ended and Atlas glared at me, obviously blaming me for the tension. I ignored him. After a terse but scrumptious dinner that was noticeably without Aleks and the kids or Harpah for that matter, Lanthe, who had noticeably calmed down after everyone had settled down for the meal, summoned me for our talk and only an hour later, I left the house and headed to Aleks's guest house as per Lanthe's instruction. Surprisingly, Harpah opened the door of the guesthouse before I even knocked and I blinked a bit confused at the sight of her hair flowing behind her as she practically flew out of the house and towards the mansion, an annoyed looking Adrian being dragged through their interlocked hands. I was happy to see the cautious smile and small wave that Adrian threw at me before he was dragged away by my little sister. The scene threw me a little bit because I had already planned my actions from the moment I heard all of Lanthe's demands and that particular scene hadn't been taken into account. I had relied on Aleks opening the door so that I could tell her all of the lies Lanthe had demanded I spout, maybe kiss my daughter and my son goodnight before leaving to blow off some off the tension that had reappeared after my conversation with Lanthe. The unpredictability of my life was starting to really get to me.

Upon their hasty and mysterious exit, Adrian and Harpah hadn't shut the door so I just let myself in and followed a tinkling laughter I had come to recognize to be my daughters' to the open kitchen. I stood silently by the door as I took in the scene of Aleks standing behind the counter, a pink apron with multiple rainbows covering her front. She looked different somehow, but I didn't know how exactly. Her long mass of white hair was tied into a messy ponytail, a splattering of pink stuff I reckoned to be icing sugar contrasting its striking lightness. Her cheeks where flushed pink as she whisked a bowl filled with a dough mixture, her arm muscles flexing in a way that was strangely attractive. Besides her was an adorably serious-faced Elena who wore a cute blue elf apron and oven gloves, and carefully carried over a batch of muffins towards her mother, who relieved her of them with a smile and placed them on the surprisingly clear counter.

"Thanks baby." She said, her voice filled with fondness.

Elena practically beamed at her mother before climbing in to a chair so that she could watch her mother work. "Mommy, Harpah told me that they have horse riding lessons at her school. Do you think I can ask daddy to take me to see the horses? I really love horses and I would like to someway learn how to ride them." She said, sending a thrill all over my body at her referral. That I had become a part of her existence that she realized she could approach to fulfill her needs. I was her daddy.

Aleks smiled at our daughter again. "Really? Hmmm, I'm sure you can ask your dad tomorrow if he's not busy. I didn't know you were interested in horses though." She commented before covering up the mixture and handing the spoon to Elena who immediately took it to the sink after a small lick. She immediately clambered onto her chair as her mother removed another finished tray of muffins from the other oven.

"You're interested in it though and I want to be interested in everything you are interested in. I want to be just like you when I grow up." Elena declared.

Aleks chuckled. "I don't know about that, but how did you know I was interested in horses? I don't remember telling you that."

"You didn't. But I remember when Uncle Lander took us to that ranch for your birthday. You were so happy that day, and anything that makes you happy will also make me incredibly happy." Despite my best efforts, I found myself frowning over her statement. Lander. Lander had known what would make Aleks happy and had given it to her when I hadn't had the slightest idea that Aleks liked horses. I wondered what else he'd done to make Aleks happy and my already bad mood plummeted further. I stared at the wistful look on Aleks's messy but still incredibly gorgeous face, and like she could finally feel my stare, her body froze and I saw her practically transform before my eyes. I realized then what had been different.

Before she'd noticed my presence, there was a softness and openness to Aleks that I had never thought to associate with her and so had never noticed their absence. When it had been just her and my daughter, before she'd seen me, her walls had been down and it had been gorgeous to see. She'd looked at Elena with her emotions clear in her eyes, emotions of love, gentleness, care and kindness. The change in her was shocking. Because the Aleks I had thought I knew had just been façade that she put on to distance herself from the world. The incredibly flirty smiles she had thrown my way all those years ago weren't her real smiles. And I hadn't known her perfect blue eyes could get softer than I had seen them. I realized then that I had never truly known Aleks and I was torn between hating her for making me believe that she was this whole other person and fucking her until I was the only thing that could control her reactions.

The tension in the air grew palpable as her eyes met mine and I made sure to keep my expression blank while she easily did the same. It annoyed me to no end that she could hide her emotions so easily; maybe as easily as I could. I hated that we were on such even ground with regards to shielding our emotions from the world. It made my teeth clash that she'd had to learn to. Elena followed her mother's eyes and let out a loud, happy squeal when she saw me before climbing off the high chair, running towards me and flinging herself onto my arms. I caught her with a chuckle, her joy and obvious love soothing me more than any sigil ever could.

"Daddy! I didn't know you were coming here. Did you smell our muffins? They were supposed to be a surprise for you; mommy was helping me make them for you. But its fine, you can take them today. Adrie just went with Harpah to ask grandma if she can sleep with me, she said Adrie might soften her up, she would have taken me with her  because Adrie didn't really want to but I was making your muffins so I couldn't leave." she said it all in one breath while she clung to me. I couldn't help my laugh. I kissed her forehead before placing her back on the ground and squatting before her.

"Breathe baby." I chuckled when she made a show of taking a deep breath. "And to answer your question, no unfortunately I did not smell your muffins until I was quite near the house but they smell divine. Thank you for making them for me. I'll make sure to take them with me." Elena beamed at me before hugging me again. I hugged her back with a happy chuckle I didn't even recognize from myself and my eyes my Lanthe's striking and, once again, soft ones. I stared at her as I spoke again.

"I came to speak to your mother for a while." I said and watched as Aleks swallowed nervously. I loved seeing that honest reaction from her and I wanted to storm up to her and release the lower lip she was biting softly and bite it harder. I wanted to tell her that she wasn't allowed to bruise herself in anyway, only I could leave bruises all over her body.

My face must have given some of my thoughts away because Aleks visibly shuddered before she tore her eyes from mine and addressed Elena.

"Honey, it's your bedtime now. Run along and change then your dad can help you brush your teeth and tuck you in before he talks to me." She said eyeing me inquisitively. I nodded at the welcome but unexpected offer while Elena let out another squeal and ran out of the room, leaving her mother and I in an awkward and silent standoff. She seemed to be waiting on me to say something but I couldn't help but look at her anew and see her. She was closed off. Even more closed off than usual, and looking at her some more, I realized that she was probably upset and uncertain. Seeing that made me realize that I had never been aware of her feelings in that way, she had just never drawn much attention towards them. Something about that bothered me so much.

A LITTLE WHILE AGO

"Why didn't you go to the meeting with Aleks like I told you to?" Lanthe asked, her voice deceptively calm. I felt ten years old and in trouble all over again.

"I wanted to spend time with the kids. She wasn't alone."

"But she might as well have been. Leukas, no matter what happened between you two, you are her only link to our world. You brought her here. We are all strangers to her and she is blindsided by all of this. You were supposed to put your feelings aside and stick up for the mother of your children in front of the council, tell them you have postponed everything with regards to your engagement, and make sure everyone knows she has you support." I had decided the previous day to postpone all the proceedings regarding my engagement with Fletcher because my priorities had drastically changed over the past few days. Until my kids and I were settled, I couldn't go through with all the procedures for our marriage, a marriage which was more business and mutual friendship than anything else, so we had sent a group of our representatives over to her home. I had already discussed my decision with her and she was understanding but also understandably upset about the delay. Because if she wasn't marrying me, her father would make sure she married some other Azzurian Prince, because he was certain her daughter deserved nothing less, and she did not want him thinking that this wedding would not proceed.

"I realize that mom, but cut me some slack. It's hard for me, having her here." I said, feeling a bit uncomfortable about talking this out with my mother and explaining my actions in a way I had never really had to. Lanthe sighed and massaged her temple gently, and I once again feel guilty for the stress I was once again causing her, despite the fact that I was a fully grown man. And her pregnancy made it that much worse. Her deep emotions were dangerous at any given day, but pregnant, they were volatile, and unpredictable, and downright deadly. The last thing me or Abattohn as a whole needed, was the High Priestess of Passion reacting due to stress.

After she calmed down moderately, Lanthe spoke again, "I've decided that it's best that Aleks stays here with the kids, indefinitely."

"It's unnecessary that she or I for that matter stay here mom. You and dad have the final verdict and you made your decision about all of this in the pales. Why draw this out."

Lanthe stared at me as she wiggled her legs which sat on Jason's lap; Jason who was ignoring the conversation whilst going through his phone and absentmindedly caressing Lanthe's legs. The baby was asleep once again and Atlas had retired to bed after a seemingly long day, leaving me and my parents alone and talking in the main television room.

"And this is my decision, Leukas. Elena and Adrian are family, and that makes their mother family too. Ever since she gave birth, they've been pack and I was wondering why the bond has been bit unbalanced, now we know. We need all of them. We need our family to be complete and strong, for the pack."

"Yes, my kids are family, they may be pack but Aleks has…"

Lanthe lifted her hand at me. "Aleks has everything to do with this because of who she is to you." She cut me off before I could deny. Before I could tell her that Aleks was nothing to me. "Your kids are royalty, Leukas. And no matter what, we have to prepare Aleks for that. Because shifting is a huge part of their life and we can't and won't attempt to hide it from their mother. You brought her into this Leukas, and she had no idea of what she  was coming into, or what her kids really are and all they are capable of. We can't deny her that, we won't keep her in the dark. If your kids are coming into this world, their mother is coming with them. That is nonnegotiable." She finished.

I sighed as I thought on her words. I could cart my kids and Aleks away from here, come up with an arrangement and then move on without having to see Aleks in all these places I associated with warmth and comfort and safety and happiness. But I couldn't do that to them. Without proper nurturing and ceremonies, their lycan nurture would forever lie dormant, but I didn't really want that from them. I wanted my kids to have that community, that large family which existed within the pack, and that fulfilment that came with the animal that lived within them. Fulfilment that I had lost, myself.

"How will you get Aleks to stay here." I asked, resigned. It was not a question of whether she would get what she wanted, she would, I just had a feeling I wouldn't like how she went about it

She made a production of sipping the juice Jason had insisted she take instead of 'a small sip of wine' before answering. "Not me, you. You led to her coming here. You have been the unwelcoming and unfriendly one. You will go tell her whatever will mean she has to stay here for three months or so, while we show her what it's like to be part of a family. To be part of a pack. And to be the mother of two Alpha lycans. You will extend the olive branch towards her, make sure she doesn't think you or anyone else will have a problem with her being here, and that she and her kids are safe here. You will help all of us show her that this is not a competing home for her children, but a home for her whenever she needs it. And you'll thank me for this later on sweetie." She said and chuckled when I just stared at her, stunned at her request.

"You want me to lie to her." It wasn't a question. I was shocked, Lanthe wasn't the type to incite any dishonesty among family or friends or anyone really because of her golden heart. I had done my fair share of lying in life, it surprised me how much I hated the idea of lying to Aleks.

Lanthe must have read my hesitation because her expression softened and she motioned me over to the empty space on the long couch. She sat up straight when I got over and pulled me into her embrace, and just like when I was younger, when I was whole, all my worries and issues disappeared and only the scent of mom surrounded me; the scent of safety, the scent of unconditional love, the scent of stability. It had been a long time since I had been so close to my mom, to anyone at all.

I'm not sure how long we just sat there, me clinging to my mother like a kid while I tried to sort through my spinning world and her request but when she kissed my forehead, I sat up and looked at her.

She was smiling, her eyes a bit sad as she stroked my cheek lovingly. "Look, sweetie, I understand how you might feel about Aleks and everything she put you through, and how you might feel I'm making light of all the years you lost with your kids. But honey I'm not. I'm just more sympathetic towards her because I can understand never getting kindness or good things in life, so much that when you get them, you cling to them and hide them away from anyone who might take them away, or run away from them. You might have read all those things about her from documents, but it would be better to talk to her, try to understand her, and try to remember why you liked her so much once. Why she had the power to hurt you so much. You've spent so much time being angry and it might be clouding your eyes, making you see a vindictive woman. But I beg you, sweetie, to open your eyes and see her sadness and her wariness. You are not entirely blameless in all this either, honey. From what I gather from everything you told me, you never gave her a reason to think you were any different from all those other people who didn't care for her when she needed them to. You didn't prove yourself to be someone she could trust with her kids. You can't even say you planned to love her Leukas. I'm sure after a month or so you would have convinced yourself to…discard her, like you do to all the young ladies you …. Uhm…meet." I made a sound of protest before I quitted because, because my mother wasn't entirely wrong.

She continued after the brief pause. "I'm not asking you to date her, or to jump into bed with her, I would never ask you to make such commitments unwillingly. I just beg you to give her another chance to be more than what you have reduced her to in your mind. For her. For your kids. For you. And it won't be lying to her per-se, we just twist some truths a little." She gave me another kiss to her forehead before wiping away stray tears in her eyes. I couldn't stop myself from hugging her, trying to comfort like she always did for me, when I let her, that is. I knew that despite her very powerful nature and her position in the immortal world, she had suffered when she was younger. I hadn't realized how personal Aleks's past, a past I made sure never to think about, was to her. I had known that she had taken to Aleks immediately but I hadn't realized how much. In the end, Lanthe's judgment had been given, there would be no further appeals.

A hand on my shoulder shocked me out of reverie, and was quickly followed by an intense zap of blinding pain that seared throughout my body and brought me to my knees. For a second I was in a place where only the shock, the pain and the confusion were the only things that existed, until Aleks's frantic cries reached me, then just as sudden as it had come, the pain disappeared. I blinked to clear my vision and became aware once again of a panicking Aleks. Her face was as white as a sheet and I had never seen her look as human as she did. Her eyes were filled with fear, panic, confusion and so much worry my heart wanted to beat right out of my chest and into her arms just to comfort her and show her I was still breathing. I stood up on shaky legs and sat on the chair that appeared suddenly, curtsey of a frantic Aleks. I felt better immediately, but I could feel a slight throbbing on the runes, one that wasn't entirely unfamiliar though. Aleks appeared in front of me and practically shoved a bottle of water on my hands before deciding I wasn't acting quick enough and practically forcing it down my throat. I was too shocked to do anything but let her until she was satisfied and she moved to checking my temperature with her hand and fussing with my hair and petting my face all the while muttering to herself.

"Aleks…" I finally spoke when I feared she was going into some kind of shock.

"…oh my God what happened? You weren't breathing and you fell to the floor…" she was saying, her eyes glazed and vacant.

"Aleks…." I tried again, trying to bat away her hands whose touch and the scent of her and her general closeness were causing some discomfort on my nether region. As a matter of fact, I was suddenly feeling so alive. My senses were open in a way they had never been before and even though I could suddenly hear the buzz activities happening beyond the island, I couldn't focus on anything except Aleks's scent which had somehow become more pronounced and mouthwatering than ever before. I could smell sweets, spices and wine. It was a bit dizzying.

"…Your eyes were where white and lifeless and you weren't breathing…." Her breathing was so erratic I feared she was having some kind of panic attack. Her eyes were also getting a bit glassy and that in turn made me panic. I stood all of a sudden and shook her shoulders.

"That's enough Aleks, knock out of it, I'm fine." I said in a firm voice that knocked her right off her panic. I almost regretted shaking her off her stupor when she suddenly hardened, and all those emotions which had been swirling so visibly through her eyes and her whole body were gone, replaced by a wall I could now recognize.

She shook her head as if to shake off the last of the warmth she had practically radiated seconds ago before asking in a voice a bit more subdued but surprisingly still carrying some worry. "You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, I think it was the stress and the change of scenery. Don't worry about it." I said, feeling slightly uncomfortable at the tension I had before this had been so used to. She didn't look like she believed my explanation but she nodded.

"I'm going to put Elena to bed now." I announced turning my back on her, intent to get away from the past minutes and regroup from the whole day really. My sudden alertness and sensitivity was shoved to the back of my mind as I made my way to my daughter's room, her mother's eyes burning a hole through my back.