38

Chapter 38: Fear and determinationNotes:

A day late and short, because my darling mother insisted that we go to a concert over the weekend. I just couldn´t say no *shrug*

Chapter Text

Chapter 38

Subaru thought, like most of the time, what the hell his life had become. A few weeks ago he had lived a boring, disappointing, lonely life of failure and to defeat only to be abruptly become confronted with the harsh and often bloody reality of an entirely different world. Now his uneventful days had devolved into a mixture of mortal fear and magical excitement. He couldn't say if that was an upgrade or not.

Regardless of what he did the world seemed to hate him for some reason. He had been stabbed, burned, beaten, crushed, skewered and so many more things that he didn't want to think about. His nightmares got worse every night and what did he receive for his troubles? More pain. More regret. More proof of how worthless he was.

Well, sometimes it seemed to also go pretty great for him. Emilia had grown to trust him in the short time that she knew him (and didn´t that thought sting?), Rem obviously cared for him on some level and now he even had an opportunity to become a knight. A real knight! How cool was that! Finally he had chance to become strong so that he could properly protect those he cared about. And save him a lot of dying of course, a selfish part of his brain added.

Everything appeared to going well until Rem-chan had a strange vision that bad things were going on at the mansion. He had been fully prepared to convince Tanya of the need to return, but she had already decided to go back and check on her own. She really was a good friend for Emilia even if she was a bit strange sometimes. (She couldn't hold a candle to Roswaal in this aspect though.)

That left the question open, what on earth could have happened to Ram. Another Wolgram attack? Or worse, the crazy murder lady from the capital had come to enact revenge? Or maybe –

Multiple things suddenly seemed to come about at the same time. The carriage stopped and threw him out of his seat, Tanya absolutely demolished the door and the ground dragon screamed loudly. When he gathered his senses Rem had already leapt out of the other side and brandished her giant Morningstar that she had pulled from an unknown place. (He had obsesses many sleepless nights over where she hid that damn thing and he had no clue.)

If that had not been enough to trigger his PTSD then the well-known phrase "DIE WITCH CULTISTS!" together with the rattling of chains did the job.

All he could think was: "She´s gonna kill me! She´s gonna kill me! Gonna kill me killmekillmekillmekillmekillme..."

His whole world was being consumed by fear. He had died many times, but none of his deaths had been as shocking as the ones at the hands of his friend. It had hurt. It still hurt so much.

He was snapped out of his panic attack by the gentle shaking of his shoulder.

"Hey, it´s alright. They're all dead Subaru. They can´t hurt you anymore."

Rem´s voice caused him to flinch despite the soft tone of it. Yes, she was right. He really was pathetic, wasn´t he? Instead of helping he had hidden inside the coach. She must think of him as such a loser and he could understand that. He was a loser after all.

He forced himself upright and exited the cabin with still shaking knees. The familiar scent of his blood (not his not his nothisnothis) permeated the air and he nearly had a second panic attack. When he shook the terror from his head and regained his balance he noticed Tanya kneeling down on the ground and examining a dead cultist.

"If they attacked us here on the road then they are likely already at the mansion. Rem can you still feel your sister?" she asked.

"Yes. But our connection is weakening for some reason. We must hurry."

The little girl thoughtfully cleared her large knife and sheathed it in one smooth motion in her boot.

Why were all the cute girls in this world ice cold killers? It just wasn´t fair!

"Indeed. However, this ground dragon is in no shape to run again. I am going to scout ahead while you try to heal it. Together with my remaining body guard you should be able to protect Subaru from harm."

He might have nearly had a nervous breakdown just now, but his pride as a man couldn't take that insult without protest.

"Hey! Don´t look down on me!"

The tired glare he received felt like he had barely avoided significant harm to his person. Scary.

"Stay alert. We don't know how many more of them are hiding in these woods. Rem I trust you r combat experience. Retreat if necessary and don´t lose your cool. Your lives have number one priority for now. Don´t die on me."

With these words she crouched low and blasted off into the sky, leaving only a dust cloud in her wake.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rem was alternating between furious and incredibly worried. The filthy witch cult that had cost her family so much dared to encroach onto the only the place that she could reasonably call home. They wanted to take everything away from her sister and her! Again! Did their wretched cruelty know no bounds? She wanted to slaughter every last one of them and make them suffer in the worst ways imaginable! Her blood was boiling at their mere scent!

But like Lady Degurechaff had said, she could not allow herself to be lost in the bloodlust. Her sister and Lady Emilia needed help! Getting them to safety was more important than vengeance at the moment. She also had to take care of Subaru.

While he was her personal hero who had gifted her the world, she was under no delusions hat he was weak. He could – no, he would grow, because he wanted to, but it was sadly not enough at the moment. She would need to protect him for the time being and she would be lying if she said she didn't like the idea of that. Now she had the opportunity to repay the kindness he had shown her and assist him in becoming the most awesome person he could become. He would be truly glorious, of that she had no doubts.

Her hero proved surprisingly adapt at keeping the ground dragon still while she removed the icicle stuck in its leg.

"Mana of water, heal his broken body." she intoned and concentrated on patching the wound up as good as she could.

She was no master healer like Lady Beatrice and it showed. Undoubtedly their mount would be able to move again, but its speed would be greatly reduced. With her Oni strength she would probably be capable of outpacing the animal at its current level if she hadn´t two other people to worry about. The remaining guard of Lady Degurechaff was of no concern to her and she would have left him behind without a second thought.

Subaru on the other hand would not come to any harm under her watch. She knew that she would never be able to forgive herself if he got murdered by cultists while she ran away. Simply picking him up and carrying him all the way to the mansion would tire even her out eventually. And fighting the vilest and most threatening organization in Lugnica exhausted was bound to get her killed.

Not that she cared that much about her own life, even though her treasured Subaru had shown her its value, but her loved ones simply took priority. Rem would gladly sacrifice herself if it secured the safety of her sister or her hero. Dying before they were absolutely out of harm's way though was not acceptable.

So she begrudgingly readied the carriage and urged the crippled ground dragon on as much as she dared until the beast collapsed from pain or exhaustion.

Her darling sister was in danger and disgusting cultists had invaded her home. She would not stand for this!