16

Chapter 16: XVI

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Gibson and Tonks were ready. Standing in a dueling position in front of his cell, pointing their wands at the door.

"What's going on?" Gibson asked. His voice was steady, unlike Dora's when she answered.

"I don't… an intruder? That's the alarm for an intruder breaking through the…through the physical barriers. But how?" The tip of her wand shook a little. She was afraid. Her voice was a bit too fast, the words tumbling out of her mouth.

Sirius didn't pay them much attention. He had finally stopped laughing, but now he cowered tired and afraid in the furthest corner away from them. If he had more energy, he would try to strike up a conversation with his niece…but there was nothing left. The sirens were giving him a headache.

They would give him the Dementor's Kiss and that would be it. A fate worse than death.

Befitting for a traitor. But he was no traitor. Befitting for a fool?

What had he thought, trying to escape from Azkaban?

But there was a part of him, that thought, it might have been worth it. He hadn't saved Harry of course. He hadn't even seen him. He hadn't killed Peter. He hadn't achieved anything. But he had experienced kindness again. He remembered the smell of rosemary and thyme and a young teenager preparing a meal for him.

Was that worth his soul? Because he would pay for it with his soul, he was certain of that. Sooner or later, the Wizengamot would approve the motion. That congregation of old fools and sycophants had never done him any good. If they hadn't approved it by tomorrow morning, they would soon enough. Maybe in a few months, or even a year. But they would eventually. And then he would be the first man in who knew how many years to get all cuddly close and personal with a Dementor.

He would write history. The first fool to escape Azkaban. The first to be sentenced to the Dementor's Kiss by the Wizengamot – disregarding Voldemort's short reign of terror when he controlled the Dementors – for at least fifty years…

Bravo, Sirius. You made history. Your mother would be proud.

And still, there was a part of him, who thought it might have been almost worth it. He had traded his soul for two weeks of stumbling through English lessons and traveling the country and breaking the Statute of Secrecy with Kakashi. And really? That was better than what he had expected, when he had jumped into the ice-cold sea, convinced he would drown.

He had been happy. And maybe Kakashi would think of him as more than just a murderer.

And that was worth his soul, he thought. Because it was more than he could've hoped for three weeks ago.

Three weeks ago, he would've sacrificed his soul thrice over, just to experience a kind touch again, to hear a kind word again. To have somebody ruffle his fur, or feed him, or carry him on their back…

A fate worse than death, he thought. But worse than death didn't necessarily mean worse than life, did it?

If only he could have protected Harry. If only… He wondered whether James and Lily would be angry at him if they would be disappointed, the way he was disappointed at himself. He thought about how to face them again… But then he remembered that he wouldn't have to.

Without a soul, he wouldn't be able to move on in death. He wouldn't have to face anybody in death. He would just disappear. A shell without a soul… and then at some point not even that anymore. He would die in Azkaban, but he had known that before – with or without his soul. Did that even make a difference then? He remembered that the dead were buried right there on the island. Azkaban had its own graveyard.

An empty shell buried in Azkaban. A funeral with only Dementors in attendance. Wasn't that what he had been all along? Wasn't that his life for the last dozen years, anyway?

What a waste of a life…

What would be the last thing, he would see before having his soul sucked out?

For a moment, he imagined the marauders and a full moon. The howling of a wolf. A child with a dog plush in a crib. A pair of sparkling green eyes. The greatest chaser Gryffindor had ever seen. The smell of rosemary and thyme, and a grey-haired boy with a single eye smiling at him…

But then he remembered that that would be impossible. By the time the Dementors would suck out his soul, they would have already taken all the good memories. That and any other memory as well. And then he knew, what the last thing he'd see in his life would be. He could imagine it already because he had seen it – one way or the other – almost every day for 12 years.

James thrown away and hanging in the banisters of the stairs in his house. Lily's wide and lifeless green eyes. A street full of blood and the traitor laughing in his face. The taste of failure on his tongue.

BANG

The door burst open. Sirius flinched, turned towards the door out to the corridor. Two people stood there. He didn't know one of them, but the other…

"Tonks?" Gibson asked in confusion.

"I'm here!" Tonks yelled from behind him. "It's poly—" but before she could finish the sentence or do anything else, one of the two intruders suddenly appeared in front of her – how was he apparating? Apparating in the ministry was impossible! – And smashed a fist into her belly and then chopped her with a flat hand into the neck. It was so quick, neither Sirius nor Gibson could do anything against it.

"Tonks!" Gibson yelled out.

"Dora!" screamed Sirius, jumping up to run to her, but his feet were chained together, and he fell flat on his belly, hitting his chin against the ground and biting his tongue. The cell wasn't very big, though, so he dragged bound hand forward, gripped the bars, and pulled himself closer.

"Stop, Black!" Gibson cried, but he didn't dare take the wand away from the two intruders. "Stu—" he yelled out, but the rest of his curse died in an ugly gurgling sound before Gibson collapsed as well.

With trembling hands, Sirius stretched his arms through the bars and grabbed onto Dora's cloak. He pulled her closer. With a quiet sound, her wand rolled away from her, and away from the bars until it stopped when it hit Gibson's boot. Sirius could've stretched a bit further and caught it, but he didn't even see it. His attention was focused on Dora's still body. He pressed his fingers against her wrist, not finding a pulse, but his fingers were trembling so hard, he couldn't be sure. He moved them to her throat.

"She's just unconscious," the other Tonks said, walking up to the bars, as the man took up position next to the door leading into the corridor. "You know her?"

Sirius didn't answer. Who was that? It had to be somebody using Polyjuice, but why? What did they want from him? Not once, after the sirens had started, had Sirius even considered that it might have anything to do with him.

"What do you want from me?" he asked as fake-Tonks inspected the lock to his cell. For a moment, he considered if fake-Tonks wanted to kill him next.

She might have said that Dora wasn't dead, but she looked dead to Sirius, and he still couldn't find the pulse. Oh god… If he was the reason his niece had died…Andy and Ted would never forgive him!

"Can you do a pig snout?"

"What nonsense are you teaching my daughter, Black?"

"But Uncle Sirius is gonna teach me, right?"

Oh, Godric…

"We're getting out of here."

In his panic, Sirius almost missed fake-Tonks' answer.

"We should hurry," the stranger continued, "I don't want them to find the bodies outside, while we're still here."

Fake-Tonks looked up from the lock to look at Sirius, frowning at the chains. Then she turned back to the cell door. "I've never seen such a mechanism. Where's the keyhole?"

Alohomora, Sirius thought, from a ministry-approved wand.

Dora's wand was still in reach for him, but he didn't even see it. He didn't answer.

A bright light, the flickering of shadows, and the chirping sound of a thousand birds. The lock broke open. The stranger just put her hand through it, and odd lightning-like energy smashed right through.

I've heard that sound before.

But that was impossible. Dora was still… unconscious—fake-Tonks had said unconscious—and he could hear Gibson's gurgling breaths. And what with the 'bodies outside'?

"What do you want?" he repeated, unable to form a single coherent thought. Because the only thought that came into his head was absurd and impossible. This was not Kakashi!

"I told you, I'd get you out of here," fake-Tonks said again, now kneeling before him, still with that odd energy in her hand. Lightning. It cut through the chains on Sirius' ankles like butter. "Your hands," she demanded.

Sirius didn't move. "Who are you?" he asked.

Fake-Tonks didn't seem concerned with his lack of cooperation. She grabbed for his chains with one hand, held it up, and then snapped it in two.

He was free, Sirius noted dazed. The cuffs were still around his ankles and wrist but the chains were broken, and the door was open, and his guards were…were… If the stranger meant it, that she was here to save him… she was clearly doing it… but…

Sirius pushed fake-Tonks aside. He stumbled to his feet and bolted out of the door. But instead of running for the corridor and towards freedom – though he had no idea how to get out of the ministry yet – where the unknown man had taken up position, he turned around towards Dora. He came to a skidding halt, crashing to his knees beside her.

He pressed his ear against her chest. There! Unmistakably, there was a pulse.

"I told you, she's unconscious," fake-Tonks said, standing in the door to the cell. "We need to leave."

But Sirius made no move to leave. Instead, he twisted around towards Gibson, who was slumped against the wall.

Gibson had his hands gripped around his neck, but as he lost consciousness, his hands had sacked down, now resting in his lap. His face was purple-ish and his neck had swollen. Sirius pulled Gibson away from the wall, laid him out straight on the ground, and pressed his ear against his chest.

He thought he could hear something, though it was unsteady. "It's only very weak," he said to nobody in particular. He moved to the auror's face and tried to catch the sound of his breathing. "I don't think he's breathing." His voice trembled. Feebly his hands pressed down on Gibson's chest.

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8.

"I crushed his windpipe," fake-Tonks said, "I'm sure of it." She said it in a flat affect as if there was nothing wrong with the sentence.

"Who are you?" Sirius screamed at her.

9-10-11-12-13-14-15.

He pressed down on Gibson's chest, again and again, using his body weight to get some leverage. The auror's body was much heavier than his own malnourished one, but it rocked with every time Sirius pressed down on his sternum.

16-17-18-19-20.

"Oh, right," fake-Tonks said. There was a small poof, and Sirius noted out of the corner of his eye, that something had shifted, but he was too focused on Gibson to see it.

21-22-23-24-25.

He quickly glanced to fake-Tonks—

And froze.

"No…"

There, standing before him, with his typical bored look, was Kakashi. That couldn't be true. Kakashi was kind and…and a child! But this person— This person standing before him was a killer. He had seen it. He had heard it, the flat affect in his voice.

"Don't sell me for a fool," he bit out through clenched teeth, desperate for this not to be true. This couldn't possibly be true!

He realized he had missed a beat, and he quickly turned back to Gibson.

26-27-28-29-30.

Kakashi walked up to him, grabbing his shoulder, just as Sirius shuffled on his knees to reach Gibson's mouth so he could breathe for him.

1.

"His windpipe is crushed," Kakashi said, "that won't help."

"Shut up!" Sirius ordered between breaths.

2.

He made a sudden motion with his arm, shaking Kakashi's hold away from him.

"Get away from me!"

He heard Kakashi retreat. It wasn't far enough. This fake-Kakashi. As fake as fake-Tonks had been!

He moved back to pump Gibson's chest.

"We need to go," Kakashi stressed now from a safe two-step distance.

"I can't go!" Sirius spoke louder than intended. "Not like this. He'll die if I leave."

"He'll die anyway," Kakashi was too calm about it. "And they'll send you back to Azkaban."

The Dementor's Kiss, he thought. But he couldn't leave. Not like this.

"What are you even doing here?" He asked, "Why?" There were tears in his eyes now. He slammed his fist against Gibson's chest as he reached 30 again. Sirius knew he was losing him.

He glared angrily at Kakashi. "Why did you come? Fuck!"

"I told you," Kakashi said. His eyes were round circles. There was confusion in them and hurt. Them… Two eyes.

The other eye, the one he had normally covered was open now. As wide as the other. It wasn't gone, Sirius thought dejectedly. Kakashi had said it was gone. Instead, it glimmered in the light of the fire, shone a bright, gleaming red. There seemed a sort of pattern in it, but Sirius couldn't be sure in the bad light.

"I don't let my comrades die."

Sirius remembered then. Before Kakashi had even known, who he was, he had ruffled the dog's fur:

"I don't let my friends die."

Sirius snorted but he didn't feel amusement. Fake-Kakashi indeed. The real Kakashi had called him a friend. This one used the word comrade. Like they were soldiers fighting a war. Sirius had fought a war, alright. But Kakashi hadn't been a comrade in that war. Alaric Gibson, the guy whose life was currently running through his hands, he'd been a comrade in the war! They'd joined the auror office together.

"I don't even know who you are," Sirius mumbled not even looking at Kakashi. He was again bending down to breathe for Gibson.

1-2.

He had blood on his lips, from where it came up Gibson's throat.

A hard hand gripped his shoulder. "You need to go." Kakashi's voice was hard now. Not leaving any room for an argument. Sirius rammed his elbow back. Kakashi either expected it, or he just had good reflexes, because he easily caught it. He grabbed the arm and pulled Sirius up.

"Let me go!" Sirius cried out. "I can't leave him." He fought, but Kakashi relentlessly dragged him backward.

"I won't let my comrades die," he said again. Said it like a mantra.

"I don't fucking care!" Sirius yelled. "You shouldn't have come. He's my friend!" Friend was maybe a bit much… But he'd been Lily's friend. That was enough.

"I'm sorry," Kakashi said and he sounded like it.

But Sirius didn't really care about him sounding sorry and looking hurt. Who did that? Who just ran around killing people?!

"I don't care!" Sirius bellowed seething with anger. "Get away from me! Don't touch me!" And this time, as he tried to get away, he ripped free of Kakashi's hold.

"I'm sorry," Kakashi said again. He sounded confused, but he turned and knelt next to Gibson. His hand moved along his body, then it stopped at his neck. There was a soft green glow coming from his fingers.

"What are you doing?" Sirius asked suspiciously, ready to walk up to Kakashi and stop him, but he was held back by the man behind him. For the first time in a while, he looked back at the man. "And who are you, huh? A friend of Kakashi? And I thought you were all alone," he mocked. He glared back at the boy. "You made a fool out of me, didn't you?"

"I'm not good at healing," Kakashi said, ignoring the other things Sirius had said. "But I'll try my best. Just… please, let me take care of this, and you go!"

Sirius was inclined to do it. To let Kakashi stay here with his mess and leave. He didn't really want to be close to Kakashi right now. However, there was a part of him, that feared that 'taking care of this' meant killing Gibson.

"If he dies," Sirius warned. "I'll never forgive you. Do you hear me? I'll hunt you down, and if it's the last thing I'll do."

With what he had seen of Kakashi's skills just in the last 15 minutes, it might very well be the last thing he would do. But it wasn't like he had any other use for his life. He was already on a path to revenge and scheduled for a date with a Dementor. Among the options he had, dying via crushed windpipe didn't seem the worst.

Kakashi looked at him, then he nodded. There was regret on his face. "I'm sorry," he said again. The third time now, Sirius had counted. "Keep him safe."

Sirius was confused at first, what Kakashi meant, then he realized, he was talking to the stranger in the room. Sirius still didn't have a name. Before he could ask another question or reconsider his options, however, the stranger, grabbed him by the collar and dragged him out of the room.

Bodies outside, Sirius remembered. Where they dead? There were two people slumped next to the door. He was about to ask, about to rip himself free from the stranger, when a hard punch against his temple jerked his head sideways. His body slumped down. The stranger had hit him!

For a moment he thought he smelled rosemary and thyme. And then he was out.

Notes:

I'm so so so sorry!

There were so many of you writing in the comments that you wanted them to get back together and continue their road trip. And mean while I was sitting there answering all your comments, knowing that wouldn't happen! i'm so sorry.

So yeah, this seperation between Sirius and Kakashi is (for now) permanent. They will each have to make their way to Hogwarts alone.

Also I feel like every time I write Sirius, I write HEAVY ANGST. The next few chapters will be very Kakashi heavy. I will sprinkle chapters with Sirius in every here and there, but after this chaper, the focus will be very much on Kakashi. (Starting next chapter, Harry will come in as a third PoV, I hope that will work as well as the other two.)