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Chapter 15: A half-elf´s viewNotes:

Btw what is up with you people? I get most comments exactly when I finally go to sleep for some reason. At least it feels like it. XD

EDIT: Just hit 3000 views!!! Incredible.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 15

Emilia had not woken up to a good day today. She had of course known that many people would sneer at her or curse her while she presented herself, but it nonetheless hurt every time. To deal with the undeserved hatred had not become easier as the years passed by. So to stand on a stage with a huge audience that openly rejected her while she tried to tell them that she just wanted to help wounded her heart greatly.

Her goal to save her trapped friends in the Elior forest seemed as out of reach as ever. They all depended on her and she had let them down again. Puck always told her that she was amazing, but maybe she deserved all the hate. Maybe she really was not worthy of becoming queen. Maybe the people were right to despise her. She was so selfish after all. The feeling of worthlessness had begun to drag her down into the depths of despair when everybody's attention suddenly shifted.

The mysterious fifth candidate had finally revealed herself and she looked adorable! If Emilia had to guess than she was maybe fourteen or thirteen, but she had never been good at guessing. A nasty, poisonous part of her mind of her mind wondered what she had ever been good at.

Maybe the girl was even younger, because she was just so unbelievably tiny and delicate looking! She reminded her of Beatrice that one time she had seen her. But Puck had said that Beatrice was actually four hundred years old so appearance alone was probably not the best way to judge a character. Just like with Emilia herself.

Her hair looked so fluffy and her big, expressive eyes shimmered so brightly that Emilia had to fight the urge to hug her on the spot. It would be unbecoming of her position as potential queen and the little girl wouldn´t want to hug someone like Emilia anyway.

The small ball of cuteness had introduced herself as "Tanya von Degurechaff" and proceeded to unexpectedly ridicule them all. Well, not really because she had sadly been right with what she said. How could she rule a country that hated her? At least Tanya did not insult her in the way that stupid Priscilla had done.

Then she somehow showed her memories to the crowd and Emilia´s blood ran cold. So much death and violence! It was sickening! Even only a few seconds of the terrible pictures were nearly too much for her, but she kept her eyes open regardless. She didn't want to look weak after all. Nonetheless were all the corpses and burning buildings so horrifying that she couldn´t even listen to what Tanya said.

Emilia felt a wave of pity for the poor girl welling up in her. That war must have traumatized her! Maybe a hug wasn´t such a bad idea considering how much the unfortunate girl had suffered? No, they were supposed to be enemies! But on the other hand Tanya looked so fragile and helpless...

She was so deep in thought that she only vaguely registered how the little girl issued an invitation for a meeting tomorrow. Only when she directly addressed her with a smile (that felt like the best thing that happened to her today) did she understand what Tanya had offered.

Well, if she wanted to give her a chance then how could Emilia refuse? Other than Roswaal nobody had ever tried to "get to know her" and the prospect of a possible relationship that did not consist of one-sided disgust felt exciting.

Even Roswaal would probably agree that establishing positive relationships between her and the other candidates was a good idea, right? Yes, that´s what she was going to tell him. She only would go there, because it was a diplomatic mission of extreme importance!+

And also for little Tanya´s smile! It was just too cute!

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Reinhard felt a bit hurt that his lady had not told him about her origin beforehand, but he could also very much understand that decision. He had not exactly told her about what kind of monster he was either. If Tanya wanted him to see her only as his mistress and not as a foreign war veteran then who was he to judge? All he hoped was that she would not learn to resent him for the beast he truly was. It was a selfish wish and that fuelled his self-hatred only further.

He knew that she was barely sixteen years old. She had told him as much when she had asked for the age of the other candidates and that boggled his mind. To already slay thousands at such a young age (without being a swordsaint) was extremely impressive. Another proof that he had chosen his lady well. She was stronger, more intelligent and more experienced then all of the other candidates. He was sure of it. Even if she sometimes was a bit scary. (For example he was pretty sure that she had positioned her new recruits above the throne room without anybody noticing. Whatever her plan was he would not destroy it by needlessly drawing attention to it.)

Some of the servants had reported to him that she could neither read nor write on her first day in his family´s home. But at the second day she had already mastered both! How was that possible without a Divine Protection of scripture? Her intellect must certainly reach that of the great sage to accomplish such a feat.

Lugnica would be in good hands with her as queen. She was never careless and planned always five steps ahead. For example how she had just told him over her magical ear-piece to subtly bring up her combat prowess in his speech. That had been most unexpected, but he knew it furthered some obscure goal of hers. Tanya was simply a brilliant tactician and an incredible fighter at the same time. In contrast he was only as good as his sword. Less even, because most of the time he could not unsheathe it. He was just a tool to be used.

One thing that confused him though was the only lie that his Divine Protection had shown him during her entire speech. When she had talked about her "biggest secret" that had been untrue. What could possibly be an even bigger secret than that she was from beyond the great waterfall? It was not his place to question her, but it made him curious. If she wanted him to know then she would tell him.

His eyes darted over the crowd to search for his mistress who was already making countless acquaintances, but instead he found someone different. There in the corner stood his grandfather who looked at him with disdain. Reinhard knew why Wilhelm hated him and he could totally understand it. After all he was the reason that Theresia had died. It had been him who killed her even if he hadn´t meant to. His grandfather had every right to be angry at him, but that didn´t make it any less painful when he glared at his own grandson like that.

Some cracks could never be mended and he, Reinhard van Astrea was already broken beyond repair for as long as he could remember. He was and always would be just a monster.

Notes:

Isn´t it interesting how some of the sweetest and strongest people in Re:Zero hate themselves? Reinhard thinks he is a menace because nobody treats him like a human and Emilia thinks she is weak because nobody really belives in her. (Even Puck always tries to protect her because he thinks that she can´t handle herself.) That applies to Subaru and Rem as well of course.

Anybody who is nice has self-worth issues apparently. (With the exception of Otto. He is always wholesome <3 )< p>