Chapter 23: Deja Vu(II)

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Valeri's PoV

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I'm still confused about what's happening to me. I know something is wrong, but I can't quite distinguish what it is. There's something inside me telling me that I shouldn't be in this situation. My mind is so entangled right now, and I have no idea how to get rid of these thoughts.

"Hey, are you alright?" Deniece asked me gently as we were leaving the school premises.

"Uhm? Yeah, I'm fine," I replied with a smile to reassure her.

She responded with a sweet look and smile. I'm happy to feel her acceptance of me, but I don't know why. Why am I so happy whenever someone accepts me? It's like I'm experiencing acceptance for the first time in my life. Why do I keep feeling so lonely all this time? Should I feel this way in the first place? I didn't realize I was lost in thought until Deniece spoke to me again, reminding me that I was having a conversation with her.

"Hey, are you okay?" She asked with a worried expression. "Uh, nothing," I replied. "Is there something bothering you? I can tell by your gestures," she said. I don't know if I should be happy about that. Happy because someone cares about me, it feels like the first time.

Ugh! This is getting ridiculous! I'm so confused!

Then suddenly, I heard a voice, like a whisper inside my head. What is this? I tried to listen carefully. It's as if the world has stopped after I heard that voice. I focused even harder on it.

"Valkyrie..."

"Valkyrie..."

"Valkyrie..."

"Valkyrie? I think I've heard that name before," I was startled when Deniece shouted my name.

"Valeri?! Are you okay? I don't know if you're in some kind of trance, but you're getting on my nerves. You just suddenly stare out of nowhere? Can you tell me what the problem is?" How can I tell her the problem if I can't figure out what the problem is myself.

Once again, I made an excuse, "Nothing, I'm just thinking about something." She looked at me with a concerned expression. "Are you sure?" she asked with a worried face.

"Yes," I replied with a smile on my lips.

After saying that, we both left the school and headed towards the train station since it was relatively close. As Deniece was sharing stories about her family, I seemed to zone out again because it felt like I already knew what she was going to say. But I can't explain why it feels wrong; this hilarious deja vu experience is driving me crazy because I don't know what to think.

Suddenly, I heard that mysterious voice in my head again. It's trying to tell me something, but I can't quite make it out. I tried to listen more carefully to it.

"Valkyrie."

"Wake up, Val--" I was startled when Deniece suddenly slapped me, which embarrassed me, but I don't blame her. I didn't realize that I was spacing out again, especially when I hear that voice. I don't know why, but I guess it's trying to reach out.

"You know what? I find you really weird. You've been like this since earlier," I furrowed my brows, not fully understanding what she meant. "You've been out of it for quite some time," Deniece clarified. I swallowed in embarrassment; she's right. Maybe I've been overthinking too much, and that's why various thoughts keep entering my mind. I need to think clearly. I need to get rid of this feeling, this constant melancholy. Because I know I don't have to feel this way.

"I'm sorry, it won't happen again," I said, taking a deep breath to regain focus.

Exactly at 6:00 pm, Deniece and I arrived in Berklin. I didn't expect that we're heading to the same destination.

"We're going to the same place?" I asked with a hint of surprise.

She simply laughed. "So you didn't notice me at all, huh?" She looked at me as if her eyes were speaking.

"Notice? What?" I replied with an external answer.

"I was your classmate before, since 1st grade until we graduated," I was shocked by what I heard just now. "But you were quite popular back then, especially with the girls. Well, of course, I'm not surprised because until now, you're still handsome and cute," she continued her story. I swallowed hard at her flattering words. Is this for real? I didn't realize that I was famous, not until now. Suddenly, that feeling resurfaced again. My heart trembles with doubt. It's as if something inside me is telling me that something isn't right.

I quickly returned to the present. "Really?" I said, with a doubtful expression.

"Yes, that's why I'm not surprised if you didn't notice me back then," she sighed.

I don't know how to respond to this awkward conversation. Based on what I heard just now, she may have just confessed that she liked me or something, well, kind of. "Oh, really?" I replied with the same word again. I mean, I don't know how I should respond. Should I say thank you for the compliment? Or should I return the favor, since she mentioned something about her feelings? This is the first time, I think.

"Thank you," I said while our eyes continued to communicate. In that moment, my heart pounded loudly, as if it wanted to burst out of my chest due to its intense throbbing. My body felt warm, as if I had just eaten a sack of chili peppers.

I held her face while our eyes still locked.

I don't know why, but suddenly I kissed her on her rosy lips. My heart pounded even harder. I was carried away by the heat of the moment. She reciprocated my actions and then opened her mouth, a symbol of a torrid kiss. I have to admit, the pleasure I felt right now was overwhelming. It seemed like all my problems vanished, and I couldn't contain this happiness. I wished this feeling could last forever.

But even with this overwhelming happiness, I couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right.