Chapter 29 - The Rain

Yasuo Pov's on.

-You what? -Riven said in a failed tone of voice, her eyes were closed and she stared at me with a lost look.

My heart was beating fast, my breathing was ragged, and my throat was dry. At the same time as I took a huge weight off my back telling what I did, I realized that the pain I felt for so long had returned to consume me completely, remembering the worst thing I was subjected to do.

Guilt is the worst feeling one can hold inside.

I took a deep breath and tried to calm my tone. I swallowed hard and said:

-I killed my brother, Riven. -Said controlling me.

My eyes started to sting, my vision to blur. I couldn't quite define the expression Riven had on his face.

She was bewildered, confused, her eyes filled with tears. His mouth was trying to mumble something coherent, but no sound came from his lips.

-Because? -She looked into my eyes, and asked with a shaky voice. - Why did it? - His face showed... pain.

-I was accused by the high council for a crime I didn't commit. -I didn't know what words to use. - Yone, my brother, was summoned to arrest me and take me back to the Capital. Or if I didn't cooperate – I spoke in a heavy sigh. - Run me. - I said the words with anguish.

My stomach was tightening, a nausea had started to form inside me.

-But? -Riven still stood with shaking hands and disjointed eyes.

-We fell out and ended up dueling. -I spoke before she completed her speech.

-II can't understand. He was her brother, Yasuo. -She said while crying.

Seeing her cry because of me hurt more than being stabbed.

-Riven. -I spoke low as I approached her.

Riven was huddled against the wall, and upon noticing my approach, she jerked away.

-Don't come near me! -She said harshly. -At least not for now. -She completed in a low tone as she turned her gaze to the floor and took her hands to her chest.

I stared at her with a confused look. I sighed and went on with the most rational speech I could have said.

-I'll tell you everything from the beginning so that you understand. -I spoke while taking a deep breath and closing my eyes.

The rain was heavy, an icy wind hit my face and shivered my body.

Thunder had been heard and lightning split the skies. That dark gray immensity had been lit up, and a dense shadow momentarily covered our bodies.

-I am descended from a long line of swordsmen. My brother Yone, was the eldest, the child prodigy of the family. While I was just the little brother, with no titles or anything that could make me...unique. –

Riven pov's on Yasuo pov's of

I could see Yasuo's mouth move, but I couldn't quite hear what he was saying. My hands were shaking and my eyes were filled with tears. I felt a dizziness, a sharp pain in my chest, something that seemed to tear me slowly from the inside out.

I understand more than anyone that I am not and have never been an angel, I know that I am someone who has a huge baggage of sins to be charged in the future. But killing someone in my family? This was something I couldn't understand.

I killed children, soldiers, good people, the elderly. Mostly in Special Crimson Elite missions. I understand the remorse of killing someone, but killing a brother. It must be a pain, a burden, almost impossible to carry.

All I wanted most in my life was to have a family. Talon had given me that experience, but not in the way I really wanted.

Yasuo told in detail about his life, details and information that he had not told me on the way to the Capital. He told them how close he was to Zed and Shen, and how much they messed up when they were together. But even with all of them around, Yasuo seemed to feel out of place when he told of his family and friends. I started to understand how he felt around people. That's how I felt at the orphanage and when I joined the army.

I was still away from him. Knowing that he had been able to kill his own brother left me…scared. But, I felt that he loved his family above all else, and that receiving the title "Assassin" was something he was not proud of having received, and that he fought for no one to associate him with that term.

Gradually, my heart had returned to beating calmly again, and my breathing had returned to being soft and barely audible.

I approached Yasuo, holding her hand with both of my small, weather-fried hands.

-Calm. -I spoke with a low and calm voice. -Understanding a little how your life was, I know you had a bigger reason that made you take this attitude. -I kissed your hand and continued. - I'll be listening to everything you say. -I spoke in a soft tone, hiding the sadness in my voice.

Yasuo let out a relieved sigh.

-Thanks. -He smiled weakly.

I laid my head on his chest and he continued.

-My life changed after I met old Shinran. He was one of the three great elders of the great council of Ionia. He said that he liked to see me train in the high temples of the Capital, so he proposed me a different training than most. He said he saw great potential in me. Your boy. -Yasuo spoke fondly of the old man. - He became my second father, at a time that I really needed. I was between eighteen and nineteen years old when I learned of my parents' death in Demacia, and that hurt so much, I never imagined it would turn out the way I did when I heard the news. In the end, I only had Yone to share that silent house, and Yone was rarely present. Shinran had no family, and after meeting me and starting to train me, he openly told everyone that I was his son.

I felt a pang in my chest.

-He lived far from the Capital, in a very simple cabin. That place became my second home. I slept and trained there. He always sat under the trees, watching my movements and instructing me when necessary. He taught me to play the flute and said that the sound of it soothed his heart. Always before bed, when he drank his green tea, I would play it so he could sleep well. For inner peace to prevail in your sleep.

Green tea.

I smelled this smell a little while ago

-It was thanks to him that I discovered my skill with the winds. Shinran had been a great warrior when he was younger, but he retired from that life when he discovered his abilities. He didn't want to be hunted like so many others were, so he just became a monk. From where he came from, people who had gifts like ours were hunted down because they were considered a threat. He protected me from all the council, was always by my side, and always argued with the other elders. He claimed I was Ionia's true triumph, even though he never mentioned my abilities. But unfortunately, Yone found out after following me and seeing me training with my sword. - He said with a regret in his voice. – The sword had been his, it had been a gift from Shinran's father, an expert blacksmith. She surprisingly brought out my skills, she was light and extremely precise, making my movements become a dance for those who watched. It was like she and I were one.

I was swallowing hard. My throat burned.

-Yone had gone running to the council to tell what he had discovered, and then they began to see me as a treacherous being, who did not deserve anyone's trust. There were few people who liked to have me around, or at least, there were few people who didn't consider me an infidel because of my abilities. – Yasuo started to shake his hands. - On the night of the great chemical war between Noxus and Ionia, the council decided to give me a vote of confidence, and told me to protect Shinran. His cabin was far from everything, but unfortunately, the place where the battle had been fought was near the woods where the cabin was.

I widened my eyes and my breath hitched.

No, it can't be.

You mean... The man I killed was Yasuo's father?

A twinge in my stomach caused me to put my hand over my mouth, preventing the reflux.

-I asked him to go fight my people, as it was not fair that I had those skills and could not use them to do good and protect my nation. Protect our home.

Yasuo was starting to sniff and wave his voice.

-He gave me his blessing, and I went to battle. I imagined that Ionia would come out victorious, but I confess that I was afraid of the Noxian platoon. But what I saw was something so disgusting that I don't have the courage to remember. - Her crying voice began to present itself clear.

I gripped Yasuo's robes tightly. My hands were extremely shaky.

-Is everything all right, Riven? -He said worried while holding my shoulders.

-Continues. -I spoke with a broken voice. -I want to know what happened. -I spoke while sniffing lightly, trying to disguise my silent crying.

Yasuo hugged me and rested his face on my shoulder and said in a muffled voice.

-I saw people falling apart that night, I smell their bodies to this day. On the rainiest nights, I have nightmares all night long. It's as if the rain is the blood of all those people, and the sweet scent of wet earth turns into an acidic smell of decay. This is one of the punishments I received for my choices. -Yasuo's choked voice made my body shudder.

I know how you feel.

I know more than anyone how you feel, baby.

-Yasuo. What happened to Shinran? -I spoke while leaning my head on his chest. I bit down hard on my lips.

-After seeing that horrendous massacre, I ran back to the cabin and - He cried like a child. – And I found the cabin with the door open. At that moment, I felt my chest hurt, hurt a thousand times more than when I learned of my parents' death.

The rain fell voraciously under the roof of the hut.

-I knew that, he wasn't there anymore. Even though I denied it and screamed otherwise. I knew it. -Yasuo walked away from me and put his hand on his face, hiding his eyes. "He told me we were the last ones, he said, he said. -Yasuo was in tears, his voice was broken and distressing.

The last?

I put my hands in my hair as tears streamed from my eyes.

-When I went to his room, he, he was-Yasuo punched the floor and squeezed his hair. -He was dead Riven. MY FATHER WAS DEAD! -Yasuo yelled. -I SAW HIS BODY BROKEN IN HALF! He was squinting his eyes and screaming at the top of his lungs.

My mouth opened slowly, an almost inaudible "ah" escaped her. I felt an ache in my stomach, as if my abdomen had been pierced by a sword.

It was as if the world had collapsed in one day.

The worst of knowing that everything you love is breaking, you know he is breaking for their cause.

Yasuo leaned his face against the wood of the house, his long black hair was loose after he pulled it so hard.

Her face was covered, but I could still see the thick tears dripping down her thighs. He rested his hand on the rough wall beside him.

- Worst of all. -He said with a voice full of disgust. - It wasn't the fact that the council never liked me or never accepted me as a warrior. The worst thing was that they claimed that I was the one who killed my father. - His voice came out angry at the end. –HOW WOULD I HAVE THE COURAGE TO KILL MY FATHER? I KNOW I KILLED MY BROTHER, BUT IF I DIE THAT DAY, I WOULD NOT HAVE ANY WAY TO PROVE THAT I AM NOT A KILLER. I WOULD NEVER PROVE THAT I NEVER HURT MY FATHER. HELL! -Yasuo punched the wall and cried again.

Vertigo seized my body, I gripped the hilt of my sword and with my other hand I braced my body against the wall beside me.

He killed his brother to try to prove he wasn't his father's killer.

What a cruel fate.

The reflux seized my throat. That bitter taste made my eyes roll.

"You will know my dear."

I'm a monster.

-Whoever killed my father had skills equal to mine. - His voice held rancor.

Nothing I had done or faced all my life could disgust me more. Disgusted with myself.

I got up still unsteady. I leaned my shoulder against the thick wooden wall. A strong dizziness hit my head.

-I hate myself. -I spoke without any emotion.

-Riven? -Yasuo looked into my eyes.

Her face was red, there were puffy bags under her eyes.

Ah, your beautiful eyes. They were reddish and their blue was opaque. All the lightness and delicacy he possessed were gone.

Gripping the hilt of my sword, I dragged my legs to the pillar of the hut, where I braced my body.

-Your father is very proud of you. -I spoke with a dry voice.

-How would he be proud of someone like me? -He said weakly. -I could not help my nation or protect it from danger. And still. -He swallowed dry. -And I still killed my brother. -He said with dismay.

- He was the best thing that happened in this old Elder's life. -I spoke without emotion.

Yasuo looked at me with wide eyes.

I knelt abruptly on the floor as I gripped my hair tightly.

The sword made a heavy thud as it hit the ground.

My stomach had started to force the reflux, my insides were constricting, making my abdomen ache.

I squeezed my belly and expelled only saliva and acidic gastrointestinal juice.

My eyes were burning, my throat was burning.

"My soul will not hold any grudges"

But mine will hold regret and guilt.

- Riven . Did you meet him? -Yasuo said with a trembling voice.

I wouldn't be able to look him in the eye.

I gripped my sword tightly as my head lolled forward.

-I was the beautiful young woman he had his last conversation with. -I spoke with a rigid voice.

My cold, trembling hands gripped the sword so tightly it hurt my palm.

-Riven, no . -Yasuo stood up reluctantly.

A dry roar ripped through the skies, again bathing our bodies in dense darkness as the sky glowed for a short moment.

Yasuo pov's on Riven pov's of

Riven's words hit my ears like flaming arrows. Every sentence was a burning, painful cut.

My head was confused, I felt a sharp pain in my temples, my skull suffered strong and constant hammers, causing my eyes to feel heavy and sting. An agonizing dizziness hit my consciousness. I understood Riven's words, but I couldn't bear their meaning. I didn't want to accept its meaning.

-My God. Because? Riven said as heavy tears streamed from her eyes.

Riven has never been to Ionia, right? She was a Noxian, Noxians never came here. Unless.

Unless she was present at the Chemical Warfare.

-Riven, what were you on Noxus? -I asked with a shaky voice, I gulped my words.

-Commander.

The strength in which I was trying to get up was completely gone at that answer. My body fell to the ground, making my knee scrape against the rough wood.

A crash had been heard, stones crumbling from the cliff.

- I'm a monster. -Her voice came out sad, guilty.

A mixture of hatred and disappointment coursed through my veins.

I couldn't express in words what I felt. My heart was tight, an immense pain was present in my body.

Riven hugged her arms with her hands, her nails constantly marking her skin, leaving reddened marks and light bruises from the friction on her skin.

Her sword still remained in her hands, she held it so awkwardly that it barely looked as heavy.

Riven climbed down from the porch and dropped to his knees in the wet, muddy grass.

I couldn't concentrate, my body just showed some involuntary spasms as I fought a fight between reason and emotion.

The woman I love was the person who destroyed my life.

This is so unfair, so painful.

I lost my parents, and because of her I lost my beloved master and my brother.

My life was in ruins because of the Noxians, and seeing her, I thought they might be good, that there might be exceptions, but no.

The person who made me believe that there was goodness in the Noxians was the same person who led an attack on my nation, which in addition to killing people of our people, made the ground where the battle took place useless, because the excessive putrefaction caused by the products chemicals caused the soil to suffer tremendous wear.

The persecution of Irelia, the hatred of the council. My loneliness was her fault.

Riven dragged himself in the rain, she could barely walk. Her body didn't have any firmness, she walked crawling her legs in an automatic movement.

I fell forward, leaning my weight on my clenched hands.

My fists were clenched, my irritability was racing.

I let out a loud, low cry, completely desperate.

I cried when I saw the woman in my life walk away from me, but my rancor pulled me back, preventing me from going to her, saying I forgave her. But what good would it be to have the person I love if I no longer have my family to know and support me?

There were a million thoughts flowing so fast, I could barely concentrate.

I could only cry as I watched her walk away while my broken heart burned with hate and confusion.

I screamed as loud as I could, hoping to ease my agony.

Yasuo pov's of Riven pov's on

I walked in the rain away from him.

My head was vague, it was like I had lost the ability to think. I walked automatically, not realizing how cold the rain could be, or how uncomfortable the grass could become between my toes.

I just walked towards the cliff.

My tears burned, I felt the metallic taste of blood in my mouth, taste coming from so many bites on my lips to drown out the sound of my desperate crying.

The small climb that led to the place where Yasuo was training was difficult to walk. A great deal of water ran off, and a complete silt had formed.

I walked, sinking my feet in that thick mud.

After climbing that stretch with difficulty, I finally arrived at the place I wanted.

I moved towards the stone floor near the edge of the cliff, dropped to my knees abruptly, and then lay my body down on the wet, icy stones beside my sword.

Little by little I regained consciousness of my movements and senses.

I was back to feeling my lungs burning, back to feeling how frigid the rain was. I had my back flat on the rocks, looking directly at the thick raindrops that were falling desperately from the sky.

-What the fuck. -I sighed amid a desperate cry.

I no longer had the strength to think, to walk, or even to speak.

I just wanted the rain to wash my body, my soul. I wanted the rain to cleanse me of my sins and take away all the guilt I felt inside me.

I destroyed my life, completely destroyed his life.

There were so many things that were my fault, so much pain for me to carry.

I went back to crying like a child. I lay on my side and hugged my sword in a warm embrace.

-There were so many things we went through, old friend. So many problems and joys to be trapped in a moment like this. Such a painful moment. - I spoke while sobbing.

The runes of the old sword were beginning to take on a greenish tinge, showing that an energy was still flowing from within her.

-At least your hug is still warm. -I spoke while choking myself while crying and tightening the sword more and more.

I couldn't take it anymore, I couldn't bear to be away from him. I couldn't bear to live with the idea that I had ruined the life of the man I love.

I couldn't bear to live without him by my side.

Riven pov's of Yasuo pov's on

I had lost track of time after that.

My body felt heavy and I felt a horrible pain in my head. My vision was blurred and I noticed the swelling on my face.

My mouth was dry and my heart destroyed.

A doubt remained in my thoughts. Go or not go after her?

It was as if my awareness had been slowly regained, and my hatred had dissipated. Leaving only the disappointment.

Did I need the council to forgive me? Would that make a difference in my life?

I vowed to seek the culprit and avenge the death of my father and brother, then I would go to the capital to prove my innocence.

But would they believe me?

I was lying on the damp wood of the porch, my clothes were wet and uncomfortable from the strong wind that pushed the rain towards me.

If we were the last ones, how could she have killed him with skills equal to mine?

What is she?

I wanted to get up and run to her, I was curious, elated; but, I was sad.

Knowing what she did hurt more than anything I'd put up with bad, but even so, I couldn't hate her. Knowing Riven for her ideals, I know she followed orders, and would be severely punished if she didn't.

Is this the truth or just something I want to believe to heal my wounds?

Riven has always been honest with me, of that I'm certain, but I'm afraid she lied about who she was and what she did.

Did she really come from an orphanage? Did she really join the army to try to help her people? And finally, did she abandon Noxus of her own free will?

She looked so angelic, so delicate and sincere, so, so unique. His presence brought me such calm and tranquility. She had a lightness that made my inner garden bloom again.

- Why? -I wondered.

Whenever I got used to something that was good for me, I had the impression that it would last forever, and then I would live well and happily for the eternity of my existence. But life is a real kick in the stomach, always reminding me how childish this thought was.

I braced my hands on the wood and lifted my body. I took my hands and rubbed my face, forcing the muscles in my eyes to focus the vision so it didn't blur. Then I made circular motions at my temples.

I should solve my problems head-on, sit around thinking about possibilities and vague answers wouldn't comfort or help me, tears won't define my fate. Tears will not define our destiny.

I picked up my Katana and took a deep breath.

Maybe I had a chance to live with her, or maybe I was doomed to live alone with my memories and fears.

I walked slowly under the wet earth and grass. My bare feet made me feel the delicious sensation that the rain brought to the ground. The pleasant smell of wet earth filled my lungs, which pumped oxygen through my body with each heavy breath.

It was torture to think that the very place where I condemned my brother to death could be the same place where I would condemn her.

But would I have the courage to hurt her? Would I have the ability to hurt her?

My hands shook at the thought of that possibility, and with each stride I took toward the large stone platform, it was a sharp, painful thump in my chest.

Even though the rain was reasonably calm, you could still see the fog around us.

As I got closer, I could more clearly hear her murmurs and sobs.

I trudged through the mud there, and then I finally arrived at my harrowing destination.

Riven was lying on her back to the floor, her clothes stained with mud and completely soaked. As I got closer to her, I came across more and more of a Riven I never thought I'd meet. Her hair was disheveled, loose and dirty, her clothes were out of place, as if she herself had tried violently to rip them off. His neck and arms were marked with large red marks, clotting marks present throughout the length of his injury. They were repetitive motion marks, she hurt herself too long to stay that way.

-Riven?- I babbled his name.

My hands shook and I ended up letting my sword slip through my hands as I stared in disbelief at the scene.

Riven rose quickly, stepping away from me.

She had quickly taken her sword, and hugged it to her chest.

I knelt under the stone, I couldn't think or act in front of her. She was totally, invulnerable.

-Who are you? -I asked without heart.

-Riven, from Noxus. Raised in an orphanage, former commander of the Noxiano special platoon. Participant of the elite Crimson and defector of the nation. -She said nervously. -I swear I'm not lying. I didn't know who you were Yasuo, forgive me. II was following orders, and, and that was the last order I served Noxus. -She sobbed amidst the confused words.

I swallowed hard.

She had gone back to scratching her arms, making small trickles of blood run from her upper limbs.

-Stop this. -I spoke as I raised my hand to her,

Riven moved farther away from me, this time holding his sword.

The small remains of the sword were different, its color that had been a dark, dull green, had begun to turn a dark, lifeless blue.

-What is this sword? -I asked while frowning. - Was it with her that you killed my father? -Speaking those words hurt more than knowing the news itself.

Riven stared at me in disbelief, as if he didn't believe I could say those words.

Her lips were slightly purple and they trembled as she tried to say something.

She closed her expression and gripped her sword tightly. The dark blue tones that were in the sword began to be covered by green waves of a shimmering energy, which stood out against the gray and opaque environment of that afternoon.

Riven lifted his body firmly and looked deep into my eyes, his reddened eyes were swollen, just like mine, but his, they held determination, a momentary determination that made my body shiver.

She held the sword firmly in front of her body, pointing the blade at the ground, and I said in a firm but emotional voice.

- The sword reflects its bearer. – A current of energy flowed in the sword, its rune writings glowed and then the unexpected happened.

The metal of his sword lengthened, as if hot, molten iron had been poured right there, and then an extremely large and sharp sword formed in his hands. Her small hands held the cable tightly, but even so they were still shaking.

The sword had a light green and dark color, the colors oscillated between them, highlighting the runes present in it.

I was amazed to see the grandeur of that weapon.

-She and I are one, that's why we never managed to separate. The sword reflects my energies and emotions. -She said it would be while watching her weapon.

Riven wielded it with precision and in a swivel hurled a gust of wind and metal toward the great trees that stood at the edge of the cliff.

The deafening noise of wood and rocks giving way was grand, the ground shaking after the perfect move she had performed.

Riven knelt in front of me and drove his sword hard into the stone, I never imagined his strength was so great.

-Now you know what I am and what I was. -She looked into my eyes with a stern look. -I leave in your hands the decision of what to do with my destiny.

I was still, I couldn't react to it.

Yasuo pov's of Riven pov's on

I didn't know how to express myself or what to say to him, I just felt pain. Both physical and emotional.

But I had given up trying to figure it out myself, the final decision was going to be his, I couldn't predict what he was going to do after all that.

My chest burned, fear began to consume me.

Afraid I couldn't see the people I loved anymore, Afraid he'd hate me forever, Afraid I could never do what I love the most.

I took a deep breath, filling my lungs completely.

I opened my arms and threw my head back, letting the rain wet my face.

A metallic noise had been heard, he had unsheathed his sword.

Fear coursed through my veins and my eyes completely filled with tears. Even though I kept my eyelids closed, they dripped from my eyes and mixed with the rain.

I felt the cold, sharp tip of the sword at my neck.

My body shivered and I smiled.

-Thanks.

These were the last words I said after feeling a burning in my throat.

At least it was at his hands that I paid for my sins.

-Did you really believe that I would have the ability to do this to you? -He said with a tearful voice as he took the blade of his sword from my neck.

I just opened my eyes and stared into his face. He bit his lip and squinted his eyes

He threw his katana to the ground and knelt in front of me.

-How did you believe that? I would never do something like that to you. -He said while hugging me.

Relief rushed through my veins, his warm embrace made me cry like a child on his shoulder.

-I love you, I would never have the courage to do that. Where was your head? -He held my face and made me look into his eyes, he said those words worried, while scolding me.

-I destroyed your life, why did you forgive me? -I spoke in the midst of crying.

-I lost my parents, my brother and my master, what good would it do to lose the woman in my life too? – He said as he hugged me tightly. - I can not live without you, and the fact that you repent and ask me for forgiveness shows how guilty you feel for everything you did. I would be an asshole to deny your feelings.

-I love you Yasuo. -I spoke low in the middle of a sob.

-I love you Riven. -He replied while stroking my filthy hair.

I had completely lost track of place and time after that moment.

In the face of that, nothing else mattered, nothing else would separate me from him.

From then on, we were

One soul.