Wine Terrible, Murder Fun

There was a slight lull in the formalities of the ball, and that allowed Ted and Eknie to get on track with the mysterious killer of the dog.

Ted had a terrible gut feeling as he descended towards the wine cellar.

He jiggled the key inside the lock. Everything felt slightly rusty, for some reason, and he could even taste blood in his mouth.

When he opened the door, an onslaught of bright light hit him so hard that he had to struggle to stay on his own two legs.

His breath escaped him.

When his eyes got accustomed to the horrifying light, he realized that the sun god had not one, but two dead dogs in what could only be called its teeth. The fangs consisted of painful rays of light. It was nearly impossible to look at it. Ted did not know if it was because of the physical impact or the emotional shock.

"KEEP LOW PROFILE. SOMEONE IS AFTER YOU."

After staring at the bloody murder scene for what felt like hours, Ted closed the door with his remaining strength.

He had to run outside and smoke four clove cigarettes to even come close to feeling like a human being again.

The ball had to run its natural course. Shutting down everything all at once would have been the absolute definition of high profile actions, and Ted needed a beer so badly that he was willing to settle for anything that even closely resembled drinkable ale.

He evened out his breathing. He calmed his heartbeat with the sheer power of his will. It had to be stronger than iron, that was the only possible explanation for his continuing survival from such spiritual horrors.

He wanted to be alone for the rest of the night, but that was not an option.

He settled for the next best thing.

Eknie came to him before he could come to her.

"Something's not right, am I wrong?" she asked, her voice soft as a pillow, and her calm demeanor annoyed him.

"No, mother of worms, do you think I am just casually abstaining from my own ball?"

Then he took a deep breath in and elaborated on the event.

"It has the power to kill things on its own?" Eknie whispered, eyes wide.

"Uh…that doesn't sound likely."

"Then it had taken a cultist and possessed them."

"Why would it possess the cultists? It could get them anyway. It was someone else. Not a man or a woman who has already been promised to the deity as a sacrifice."

They argued about the matter, spewing inane logical fallacies back and forth until Doira came to them with his hounds.

"Are you all right, cor?" the bearded man asked.

"He is just…what is that red stuff on your beard?"

Ted noticed it on the word "red" and every hair on his head seemed to stand up, at least judging by the tingling feeling on his scalp.

Blood, there was blood on Doira's beard.

Then red was all Ted could see. He felt a distant pain in his knuckles, he felt someone pulling the collar of his meck – probably Eknie – to get him off the man, and when he came back to his senses, his servant was on the ground, not moving at all.

Doira did not have much teeth left.

With some miraculous feminine peacemaker trick, Eknie had calmed down the scared hounds.

Perhaps she had just given them more attention and treats than their former owner, though.

Certainly, Doira was now a former something. He was as dead as a man could be.

Ted was very happy about it. The problem had almost solved itself.

No one messed with dogs in his manor, and even though he knew with his rational mind that the solar deity could hear his thoughts, he just had to get his opinions and intentions out there, to dwell on them and let them empower him, to manifest them.

"I am going to kill that god and any other god that stands on my way," he said.

Eknie kissed him on the lips.

Ted had never been so close to hitting her. As a general rule, he liked to manipulate or kill women, not beat them up, although he would have very much been capable of that as well.

"Mother of WORMS, Eknie!" he shouted at her and raised his hand to threaten her. "Never do that again."

"I am sorry."

Eknie turned away, apparently ashamed of her rash actions.

It was not like he did not have anything resembling lust towards her, but the mushy underbelly of that feeling that accompanied honest licentious drives with most people disgusted Ted so much that he would have cut off his own right arm if he had suspected it of being in love with Eknie. He knew what she wanted, what all women secretly wanted.

She wanted to tame him.

Eknie shook her head. "It was a beautiful sight, the way you went for his throat. I wanted to distract you for a moment… but that was not what you wanted. What you need right now is help with the hiding of yet another dead servant."

"You're right about that," Ted said with a freezing tone, but he had to admit that Eknie had constructed quite a magnificent apology.

They hid the body for the night – there would be plenty of time to properly dispose of it after the ball.

Now, they had to pretend they had been in separate places. This was done with a clever trick in order to provide them both alibis, all they had to do was to move certain clocks backwards.

Then Ted dived into the high society, ningling with nobles with not a single drop of blood on his identical meck. He knew how to play this game. He always had a spare outfit for situations where he had to get all bloody.

"And then they said that…"

"A landlady, but that was a given…"

"The wine was terrible, nothing like yours, Ted…"

Ted suppressed a yawn and exchanged a quick look with Eknie.

He wanted to sleep already. It was hard work beating a grown man to death.