TWENTY-ONE

It was dark and cold outside, the warm air of the air-conditioner streamed into Harry's face while he drove across a crossway. He could already see Louis' house, but there was no light burning. Harry took his phone and started texting.

Come outside

We need to talk

Now

!!!

I'm serious

Left on seen. But Harry wanted, no needed answeres. Now. After a few attempts of calling Louis finally picked up. "What?"

"Come outside."

"No." Harry could hear cars rushing in the background. He wasn't even home.

"Where are you?"

"The O.p.s why?"

That was enough information for Harry, he hung up and started the car again. He was so filled with rage, his knuckles turned white as he clenched the steering wheel.

The parking space was empty except for one car, Louis'. "What the hell are you doing here??" He snapped getting out of the back. "Was it just one of your fucking games again?" Harry spat clenching his firsts to keep them down. Louis drew his eyebrows together as he stared confused back. "Was what a game?"

"You know exactly what I mean."

"Oh, please, don't act like it meant anything to you." Louis' voice was just as loud as Harry's.

"It fucking hurts okay?!" He spat out.

"You just kiss me like that and then you ignore me, like... what did I do to you??" His voice calmed down a little as he saw Louis confused look. "I deserve an answer." They stood there in silence for a while until Harry grabbed Louis wrist and pulled up the sleeve. Bruises, like expected "Who did this to you?"

Louis pulled his wrist out of Harry's grip and hid it with his jumper again. "None of your business." His eyes were deadly sharp as he looked up to him. "Louis."

He shut the car door and walked into the darkness, Harry followed him.

"No, Harry, I told you so many times that it wasn't in your business but you keep asking. Just fucking stop it!"

"I just wanna help you." Harry was finally close enough to grip Louis' arm and stop him. "I said No!" Louis yelled with tears shining in his eyes. Harry didn't move, his heart stopped for a second, looking into those broken eyes hurt, it hurt so much.

"I-"

"You don't know me, Harry! And I never asked you to come into my life and turn it upside down. I never wanted you around." The fist tears rolled down his cheek dripping off of his chin. "You are the reason I can't keep those walls up. But I need them, there is no way to go through that life without them. It took me years to raise them." He choked. "And you just come around and destroy them, with your cute smile and those deep dimples, like it was nothing"

"And no matter how hard I try to avoid it I can't stop it." Then he suddenly stopped surprised about what he had said. He looked up and suddenly his eyes changed.

"Louis?"

His eyebrows started to shift and his chin trembled he was fighting so hard against the tears but he was too weak and they kept streaming down his face. "I just can't stand this anymore." He whimpered breaking out sobbing and crying so hard he couldn't catch his breath. Harry immediately wrapped his arms around the shivering boy. The whole time he was using these 'walls' to hide his pain. Whatever he went through was way too much for him and he had kept it inside for way too long.

Harry just let him cry it all out until his collar was soaking wet and Louis had stopped sobbing. It broke Harry's heart to see him like that, sad, exhausted and under clearly much pressure. He fell asleep in the car, dark circles under his swollen eyes and his cheeks were shining from the stain that the tears had left.

Repeat until death started playing while he drove through the empty streets. It was when he remembered Jay's words and let his eyes wander to Louis again before he stopped the car. He couldn't wake him up, he looked like he hadn't been sleeping for days. So Harry carried him, unlaced his shoes and put them off, he did the same to his jacket and buried him under a blanket.

He changed and got to bed himself, but he moved a little too much and woke up Louis. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I was overwhelmed with my feelings." He whispered in a raspy voice. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Harry let the older boy cuddle up to him "Thank you, Haz."

"Good night Lou."

-

It was the next morning and Harry was already up early, doing the chores before Anne would come home. Louis was still sleeping as he got back to his room, holding the hummer Harry had found under his pillow once. He looked so cute, Harry caught himself smiling dreamily.

But he had to wake up sometimes it was late already, so he opened the blinds. Louis groaned, pulling the blanket above his head. "Are you feeling better?"

"If I say no, would you close the blinds again?" He murmured into his pillow. Okay, he definitely felt better. "Get up."

"No."

"Fine." Harry grabbed the blanket and pulled the blanket away. "Ugh Haz, what was that for?"

"I'm still mad at you."

"But I apologised-" Louis got up.

"That still doesn't fix that you act like that all the time." He really didn't want to get hurt anymore, even when that meant he wouldn't have Louis cheeky smile around anymore, that he really started liking. "Do you really think I would just pretend as nothing happened and trust you with anything?"

Harry went downstairs followed by Louis "I won't be playing your stupid games,"

"I already told you it wasn't a game."

"Then explain," Harry almost yelled letting Louis flinch under his sharp tone. "Why do you keep ignoring me from one second to another?"

They just stayed in silence a few seconds Harry pressed his lips into a line, "Like I thought," He turned, grabbed Louis' bag and headed to the front door. "If you're not going answer my fcking question, I don't want you around me anymore. So just leave." It was hard for Harry not to look into Louis' glassy eyes.

He opened the door and pressed the bag against Louis' chest, he took it confused. "Fucking wanker." Louis fumed in a fragile voice that let a sharp pain rush through Harry's chest. Then he slammed the door shut.

He slid down onto the cold floor, his mind was replaying every little thing that had happened. More like, what went wrong. He wasted his chance for Harvard, his grades were bad and he fell in love with the guy he hated the most. Tears burned in his eyes as he got up again, hearing footsteps approaching. Full of anger he ripped the door open, "I said leave- mom?" Anne looked at him confused, her eyes widened.

"Harry? What happened?" She asked concerned as a tear rolled down his cheek. "I messed everything up." He breathed weakly and bit his trembling lip. "Oh, honey" she put her bag down and Harry fell heavy into her arms.

****

The next few days were quiet, the only interesting thing that happened was the footie game where Zayn played. They won. It was pretty fun until the coach let Louis play and Harry's eyes couldn't stay away from him. He was really good at what he did, he even shot the final goal. And Harry still wasn't over him. Fuck.

The days were empty and boring, it was crazy how used Harry got to Louis jumping around him and what once annoyed him was what he missed now. As pathetic it sounded. However, Zayn insisted on driving to the o.p.s while Lunch break, Liam and Niall joined them last minute.

"Have you guys planned something for new years eve already?"

"No, but I tell you one thing, I won't be going to any party." Liam and Zayn immediately looked at each other smiling. "Wait did anything happen at the last one that I don't know about?" Niall was curious. "No," Liam said, Harry could swear his cheeks weren't that reddish before. But before he could Luke appeared next to the table asking for an order.

"It will be just us, you can't call that a party."

"I'm in"

"Yeah, me too."

"Come on H."

"Just us." Harry clarified. Zayn was about to say something but Niall cut him off. "Yes only us, you, me and Ziam here."

"Ziam?" Niall just shrugged, he loved giving people nicknames or even ship names, it was a wonder he hadn't found one for Harry and Louis already. "However, what were you thinking of doing?" Harry didn't listen to the conversation, he was too distracted spying into the kitchen, wondering if Louis was working too.

The boy wasn't his business anymore, what was actually what Harry ever wanted, so it was a good thing... right? "Would you two excuse me and Harry for a while?" Harry heard Niall ask ripping him out of his 'daydream'. "What?" Zayn just shrugged eating his fries. Niall dragged him into the Hall where also the toiletries were. "What the hell is with you lately??"

"What do you mean?"

"You act strange." Niall looked him so deeply into the eyes that Harry had no other chance than to answer honestly. "I quit the deal."

"Wait, the one with Mr Johnson or with Louis."

"Both I guess." Niall's jaw dropped.

"You did what? Why??"

"I just couldn't be around him anymore."

"But- Harvard," Harry just shrugged facing the ground. "What are you gonna do now."

"I don't know we will see." Harry couldn't believe what happened to his old self, he would have never said something like that. He would have a clear structured plan. But that just wasn't him anymore. Louis made his way into Harry's mind again with all the things he did. It was like takes one step forward but then three steps back.

Suddenly the door behind Harry's back, he almost tripped and bumped against Luke. "I'm sorry to disturb you." He chuckled making sure Harry was okay. "Uhm, could I maybe talk to you a second?" God, why needed everyone to talk to him today?! His dark eyes went to meet Niall's who got the signal. "Yeah, uh sure. I will just go-" He pointed at the table. "Back to the table." He was such a silly one.

"What's up?" Ew, that sounded weird, but Harry had no clue how to act after the incident at school. "I was wondering if you know where Louis is, he didn't show up for his shift and you two seem to be really good friends." Mhm, really good friends Harry thought. Since when was he using sarcasm so often? Not important, back to the conversation.

"If somebody knows wouldn't that be you"

"Why that?" He really seemed... surprised.

"Don't you two have a thing going on?" Not that Harry cared but... okay maybe he did. Luke raised his eyebrows. "Me and Louis??" He laughed. Harry drew his eyebrows at that reaction. "Why would you think that?" He asked as he managed to breathe atleast halfway even.

"Because you two kissed in school?"

"I don't know what exactly you saw but we definitely did not kiss." Wait, what?? Harry's heart skipped. If they didn't why didn't Louis just say solutes? Lukes impression changed, "Oh my god." He smashed his hand against his forehead. "That explains a lot."

"What are you talking about."

So apparently Louis had kissed Luke just once and that just to figure out if he was gay? Harry actually wasn't really surprised by that. Luke put his hands on Harry's shoulders giving him a serious look. "He is more into soft curls if you get what I mean. So do me the favour and search for him, you two have a lot to talk about."

Harry just nodded trying to understand the situation. He really thought Louis had something with Luke and it turned out to be just a huge mistake? God, he needed to find Louis. He drove over to Louis house, he wasn't sure if he was home but it was worth a try. Jay opened the door and led him to Louis room.

"No," His voice sounded emotionless through the door after Jay had knocked. She rolled her eyes and opened the door, waiting for Louis to turn before she left. "Harry? What are you doing here?"

Yes, what was he doing? He didn't want to get hurt again but he realised that kicking Louis out hurt him way more than he thought it would. "I don't know, I talked to Luke," Louis expression didn't change at all, he looked tired and completely wracked. "And though we should talk, maybe that was a mistake."