Scared

(Asaka Point of View)

When I realized I fell asleep because of me waking up. I can't feel my darling next to me. I start feeling around for him. Why isn't he here? Did he leave? Did he get away? How? Why? Why did he leave? How could he leave? I see my darling crawling back onto the bed. I pull him close to me by his leash as I check his body. He doesn't have any wounds, he still seems to be sweating but he has no injuries. It looks like he just took this leash off of the hook. Why? What possible reason could he have? Was he trying to get away when I woke up? Why does he need to leave? He loves me. He said it himself. He loves me. He can't leave me. Maybe all of that really was fake. Maybe he was just faking it so he could get more freedoms. I pull him closer to me. I am glad that he is still here and not hurt but I need an explanation. 

"You better have a good reason for this."

"I wanted to help you out a bit. I saw that you fell asleep so I thought I would clean up and feed Lev." Feed Lev and clean? Why did he have to take his leash off of the hook?

"You could do that without removing your leash from the hook."

"I know but I wanted a bit more room."

I take a moment to calm down. I need to stay calm. He just wanted to help me like the helpful darling he is. I can't be mad at him. 

"Just don't do that again. I can't lose you."

He nods my head. "I won't. I will stay here." He is such a good boy for me and he does seem to plan on listening to me. 

"Good. Now come back here and cuddle me." He cuddles up to me as I hold him close. "Good boy."

He feels so nice like this and he smells so good. I am glad he didn't leave but when did I fall asleep? Normally my darling does. I did read that insomnia is a side effect of so many that is why. That would make sense. I should get him some melatonin to see if that works. He needs his sleep, and I am here to take care of his needs so I should get melatonin. I wonder if he is hungry. I should make him some food, after all, I don't know how long I have been asleep.

 I hear my darling's voice interrupt my thoughts. "Ma'am, are you mad at me?"

I look down at him. "No, I'm not mad, I was scared that you left me and I can't lose you, I need you."

"I won't leave. I will stay with you, I don't plan on leaving, I just want to help you out."

"You don't need to help me out, I am here to do everything for you, you just need to relax. Plus, you should be giving your attention to Lev, not chores. Lev is your cub so you should just worry about him."

I see him pause, I wonder what is going through his head. I do want to be taking complete care of him. I don't want him to worry about anything. "Okay, I will. I will focus on Lev."

"Good boy. Now are you hungry?"

He nods his head. I smile at him, he is such a good boy. I kiss his forehead. "Stay here, I will go make us food." I get up off of the bed and I head into the kitchen. 

I should have asked him if he is craving anything. I could go back in to ask but I should leave him be. After all, I don't want to be too much for him. I know he loves me so I have to keep that. I can't lose him. I start making pancakes. I do have to make sure that it is healthy for him but big. He did go through a big surgery and his body is going to need a lot of nutrients and energy. Then again, I can't have him eating too much or feel like he has to. I can make eggs on the side and I can add some vegetables. I know I have cucumbers. I don't know if he likes any of that as he didn't have much for me to go off of but that's fine. I will make this the best that I can with the knowledge that I have about him. I do want him to feel special. 

Once breakfast is done, I make sure I have everything and a plate for me before I head back into the room, but the door is unlocked. How could I forgot to lock the door? What if he left? I pause for a moment as I try to tell myself that he won't leave me. When I look inside of the room I see my darling playing with Lev. I smile at them before sitting back down on the bed. Good, he is still here. I don't know if he knew about the door and I think it would be best not to ask. My darling comes to join me on my bed. I hand him his plate and he starts eating.