We All Gotta Start Somewhere

I am calm, real calm, like the calm of a still lake or some other analogy that deals with me being calm...

Ok, you get it. I'm trying my absolute hardest to remain calm, like to the point of desperation.

If I was in my old body I wouldn't have an issue with controlling my emotions, but I think with my new young body, it's influencing my mental state just abit, yet I did it, I made my first step.

I have the means and skills to start my personal growth. Sure, I'm not an overpowered piece of shit, but my abilities seem to actually be balanced. But you gotta start somewhere and here's where I'm beginning, in a dinky ass cellar of an abandoned house.

Next step is to see if there is more to this panel, like is it a system, while cliche, it would make things a little easier.

(short time skip)

So it isn't. After some more tests and calling out to it, all I learned was how to make the panel appear and dissapear. The only thing it does is create a basic synopsis of myself and catalogs my abilities.

But enough of that, I want to get to practicing!

I quickly left home, making my way to a small warehouse that has a little distance aways from base. If something goes down I want to have ample space from where I sleep, as to decrease the discovery of my home.

I quickly made it to the warehouse and got to the rooftop.

'I guess I'll start with what seems to be my most passive one'

Navaratna appeared, hanging from my neck.

'Surya'

Yet as I waited, nothing seemed to happen... (sigh)

'Let's go over what I think the steps are, step one the sun, check. Step two the incantation, check... It's verbal, isn't it...'

I have to actually say it? Like out loud? With my vocal cords?

'There isn't anyone around, I also don't have any reason to be particularly against saying it. But still, it seems that I'm going to be saying my first word in this new life'

I breathed in, my mind somehow putting pressure on myself.

"Surya" I spoke out and immediately felt the difference.

There isn't a physical reaction like a glowing gem or any noise, it'd just that the moment I spoke the incantation I felt a soothing, gentle caress filling what felt like everything.

I felt the energy disperse around my body and settle in multiple places.

The gems with the cool down abilities slowly began to fill up, speeding up the rate of which I can use those abilities.

My body gained a weird filling sensation, as if I was a glass and water was being poured into me.

Looking up at the sky, the sun's rays gently heating my body as my energy stores filled.

'So that's Surya, my ruby's ability. What should I try next?'

As I stood their, basking in the sun a feeling of fulfillment pinged off of my necklace, my yellow sapphire informing me that it was ready for use. The energy current morwaved to the next gem.

'I don't think I should be using Brhaspati. I dont have anyway to defend myself or any understanding of what would happen'

So I spent the remainder of how long it took to recharge the left over gems just sun bathing.

Bringing up bathing, as I laid there I looked over the panel again, my eyes drifting to one of my skills.

Left of center diamond, reminiscent of Venus.

Incantation 'Shukra'. The ability to bring a cleansing or 'unlocking' upon material and immaterial targets. Granted minor Mental Resistance.

Cleansing, the word has many meanings behind it that can indicate or is indicative of the manners of 'to remove' and 'to bring back to a state of comfort'.

But what I'm wondering, is if I should do it to clean myself. The more I look at the skill the more conjectures I can draw up. Venus in Roman mythology is the goddess of beauty, you can guess that being clean parallels with beautiful. But if I get cleansed, it might actually be a disadvantage to my current self. The only reason that the Stray Devil didn't find me was because I smelt like everything else around us. So like most trade offset there are the pros and the cons.

I felt the last gem fill up, the energy flow that passed through the necklace joined the stream flowing through my body, bringing no noticeable difference.

I left the building and began to make my way back home, pondering if I should holdout until my situation has improved or like a legend once said 'Yolo'... Wait, does that even apply to me?

(short time skip)

I made it back home and set up what I needed to keep my place operational. I moved my water catchers into the backyard, one thing I noticed while doing everything is that, as long as Surya is activated and I'm under the sun, I seem to have a largely expanded pool of Stamina and fatigue reduction. Though I do have a minor Stamina Boost from my blue sapphire Shani so that is contributing to it, Surya just seems to fill my reserves at a quick enough rate to keep up with consumption.

Though I dont want to, I know that I still need supplies from all of the dubious warehouses around me...

(short time skip)

I closed the hatch behind me and pulled the bag off of my waist. I had gone out and looted 2 warehouses, the supplies to be added to my growing stockpile. It does help though that the magic bag is making things almost trivially easy to loot things.

It took some time but I eventually unloaded the bag and organized everything I brought back.

I'm sorry... I have to do it, my adult mind turning back to how that with just a word, I can clean myself off for the first time in this life.

I pulled Navaratna from inside my shirt, I had kept Surya activated for my entire trip. I looked at the panel for the incantation.

"Shukra"

Oh God was I lucky I didn't die...

The moment the incantation was said a fleeting brush of energy ran itself over and through my body. I looked down at my hands and watched the dirt, grime and the imperfections melt away.

'It works!'

Then... as if to toss my joy into the trash.

'Arghnhhn'...

Yep.

I laid there in the ground in pain as lancing hot needles pushed themselves through my veins, the white hot procession igniting my nerves and senses.

'Whah hapng, wy his...'

The pain came so abruptly, giving me no time for preparation.

Gnngh, a scream beginning to leave my lips. I know that the void was terrible, but it was more numbing than this scorching, skin peeling pain.

This is everything being rubbed raw. My soul and my body being placed under immense pressure and pain.

As my conscious faded slowly all that came to mind was the void, was I all my suffering in that place for nothing, as I die here of all places?!

Just as I remembered the sensation of the void, the way it hung over my soul, robbing me of all sensations, just leaving the cold behind.

I felt something strange happen, the pool of energy I filled up when I used Surya to absorb the sun's energy. That pool suddenly appeared, I could feel the ease of access and the way it moved through my body. The pain that dug it's way into my body abruptly dissipated.

With a gasp I opened my eyes and looked down at the ground, hacking and coughing as new air entered my lungs.

'Wait... No way, THATS WHY?!'

I looked down at the ground with my hands holding me up, stretching across my hands and hidden behind my sleeves were a series of sharp computer circuit like lines covering my hands.

'I unlocked my circuits? How? Did the energy from my ability run through my entire body? If so then it probably guided itself through my inactive circuits.'

I looked down at my hands and traced the lines across my entire body, my now 'clean' body.

I walked over to my pile of miscellaneous items and pulled a mirror out from under a construction refraction vest... What, you never know when you would need something until you needed it.

Looking into the mirror for the first time was a little weird. In my previous life I was a 5'9 white skin, brown haired individual with green eyes. So seeing a 3'5 foot, black hair, turquoise eyed, fair skined kid looking back at me was off putting. The glowing circuit like lines glowing from under my skin didn't help.

'Did I... Did I make a trigger... Oh God, did I accidentally use one of the most traumatizing things that happened to me as my mental trigger.'

I closed my eyes and imagined the sensation of the cold of the void letting me go. When I reopened my eyes the circuits were gone.

Well... Guess it's time to train as a magus as well. Luckily I got those books from 'Geh!' again, a short searing pain ran up my arm. But just as quick did it appear that it went away.

I looked down at my arm, my hand specifically...

'No... No! I can't do this!'

Seared to the back of my hand stood a sigil colored red, something that only appears when the holy grail is searching for masters.

Yet I was chosen.

'Can't catch a break can I'