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Dudley Dursley and the Diabolical Do-Over (Harry Potter)

In which Dudley Dursley is given a chance to go back and have his way with the wizarding world. Of course he's going to take it.

CambrianBeckett · หนังสือและวรรณกรรม
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42 Chs

Chapter 4

There's four to a boat, and luckily Dudley has trimmed down a fair bit since he traveled back in time, or else he may not have fully trusted the rickety-looking thing to carry him and Draco along with Draco's two goons. But as it was, the Hogwarts Groundskeeper was this massive man named Hagrid who Draco told him was actually half-giant, and he happily took three students into HIS boat at the front, so perhaps Dudley was worrying about nothing.

In the end, it mattered little, the four of them got in a boat together, and the boat took them across the lake, to the castle that waited beyond. Apparently, all of the older students, all of those in the higher years… didn't have to go through the whole boat trip, they were allowed to enter the castle properly and were supposedly awaiting the first years in the Great Hall, where the Sorting would take place.

Draco had explained the Sorting Ceremony already. A magical hat worried Dudley, perhaps a little bit, but he had to assume he'd be fine… if he wasn't fine, then he had cause to panic, and panicking would do him no good now that he was here. Still, it was definitely worrying, and Dudley was a bit of a bundle of nerves as a witch wearing a stereotypical pointed witch's hat and a pair of spectacles walked up to all of them soon after they were disembarked from Hagrid's fleet of boats.

"First Years, all First Years to me. I am the Transfiguration Professor, Professor McGonagall, as well as the head of House Gryffindor. You will soon be sorted, so please form an orderly line for me, won't you all? That's it, that's it."

Dudley had to admit, Minerva McGonagall was a looker. Despite being an older witch, and a teacher at that… she was smoking hot. This was magic's fault; he was pretty sure. Dudley had noticed it, back in his old timeline. Witches who were far older than Harry had still flocked to him often enough, and they'd all still been gorgeous.

Professor McGonagall was no different, the Scottish Dame looking to be quite the cougar, not a wrinkle upon her face that Dudley can see. And she wouldn't have them in the future either, from what he remembered… oh, the things he remembered. A dopey grin begins to spread across Dudley's face, but before he can fall into the memory, Draco is nudging him along and he realizes they're all moving forward, following McGonagall through a pair of big wide doors and into the Great Hall beyond.

What follows is the Sorting Ceremony, of course. The hat sings a song first, but as odd as that is, that does nothing to truly calm Dudley's fears. Just how much of a mind-reader was the damn hat, if it was supposed to sort them into different houses based on their personalities? How deep did it dig? As he waits for his name to be called, Dudley tries to distract him by admiring the bevy of beauties up at the staff table.

Like Minerva, the female members of Hogwarts' faculty are all quite gorgeous. Not a one of them is ugly or fat… definitely a magic thing. It's like comparing Lily to Petunia, as much as Dudley dislikes smack talking his own mother. But there's no denying it. The two are sisters, supposedly sharing the same genes, the same genetics… and yet Lily has magic, Petunia didn't, and it showed in the differences in their levels of beauty.

Regardless, Dudley spends some time admiring the beautiful, gorgeous witches up at the staff table, the women he'll be learning from this year. He can't wait to get their names, can't wait to get to know them all… personally. But before any of that, he has a Sorting to get through. Given his last name is Dursley, it doesn't take long before he's called up, the letter D coming soon enough in the alphabet.

"Dursley, Dudley!"

Trying to hide his nerves, Dudley strides forward, head held high, even as he feels what must be a thousand eyes penetrating his skull. He very carefully doesn't look anywhere but at the hat on its stool. When he gets there, he sits down, and McGonagall puts the Sorting Hat on his head. Dudley, thinking about his conversations with Draco and the budding friendship he'd managed to develop with the Malfoy Scion, tries to push his own personal choice to the front of his mind.

Slytherin. I want to go to Slytherin.

"Oh? Is that so? Are you absolutely sure about that?"

Dudley blinks at hearing the hat speak in a low murmur atop his head. So, it IS reading his thoughts? And yet, it hasn't said anything about his circumstances, so perhaps it was only reading the thoughts he was pushing outwards?

Yes. I want to be in Slytherin.

"Hm, it's been a long time since I sorted a muggleborn into Slytherin. Most are too wide-eyed and full of wonder to have the necessary… resourcefulness. But I can tell that you're different, aren't you? You've got ambition and cunning in spades. So, I suppose… SLYTHERIN!"

Dudley breathes a sigh of relieve, and goes to sit beside Crabbe, the only other of their little troupe who's been sorted so far. He's getting a lot of suspicious and disbelieving glares from people at the Slytherin House's table, but as soon as Draco comes around, the Sorting Hat barely having to touch the top of the Malfoy Scion's hair before it shouted out 'SLYTHERIN!', things got better.

Draco was more than happy to help Dudley explain his family's circumstances to anyone nearby, and soon enough everyone knew that Dudley wasn't a muggleborn, perish the thought… his family, which was definitely a wizarding family, had simply suffered quite a lot during the last war. As the Sorting comes to an end, Dudley finds himself looking up towards the staff table as silence falls for a moment.

McGonagall looks almost adorably confused as she eyes the list in front of her, giving Dumbledore a quick look. The Headmaster's gaze sweeps across the hall for a moment before landing on Dudley himself, causing Dudley to glance away hurriedly. What did Dumbledore think had happened? What did the old man potentially suspect?

After a moment, the Headmaster rises and begins to give introductions, welcoming them all to Hogwarts, giving a few parting remarks that seemed rather… bonkers, and then beginning the feast from there. As Dudley eats, ever mindful of his desire to not be QUITE so rotund as he was at this point in his past life, he can't help but ask Draco about all of the gorgeous female staff members up at faculty table.

That's how he learns all of their names, in the end, because truth be told, most of them weren't women that he'd met in his previous life, or even heard of from Harry and his girls. There was a beautiful blonde with a nice rack named Charity Burbage that Draco didn't think much of because she was apparently a 'muggle-lover'. Then there was an earthy sort of woman with an hourglass figure named Pomona Sprout who apparently held the position of Head of House Hufflepuff. Draco didn't think much of her either, though he was at least able to admit she was a looker.

After her came the sharp Rolanda Hooch, Hogwarts' Flying Instructor and Quidditch Referee. Draco had a lot to say about her, or more accurately, he had a lot to say about Quidditch, given the Malfoy Scion's love for the game. Personally, Dudley was definitely more interested in Rolanda herself then learning to fly on a broomstick like some wicked witch. While the gorgeous cougar wasn't as stacked or voluptuous as some of the other staff members, she was still pretty in her own way, slender and sleek and sharp, as he'd previously noted.

There's others that he asks Draco about and gets the names of. There's a Sybil Trelawney, an Aurora Sinistra, a Septima Vector, and even a Bathsheda Babbling. That last name was… well, Dudley supposed he wasn't in Surrey anymore, so he shouldn't have been that surprised. This was the world of magic, after all.

Though, in the end, Dudley could tell Draco was a little fed up with his constant questions, so he went ahead and stopped interrogating the Malfoy Scion, instead letting Draco talk about the things he wanted to talk about, nattering on about this and that. As Dudley pretended to pay attention, nodding at all the appropriate places and what not, there was no denying that his focus was almost singularly on one of the women up at the staff table.

Minerva McGonagall, the Professor who escorted them into the hall and then carried out the Sorting Ceremony. Out of all of the women up at that table, the Scottish Dame was the one that Dudley knew the best, in the end. Or perhaps it was right to say, she was the woman he remembered the most of. Such a strict, severe-seeming woman… except, he'd seen another side of her, hadn't he?

It'd been back in the previous timeline, during his past life. Dudley recalled it being somewhere past Harry's Second Year at Hogwarts, if he recalled correctly. He and Harry had both been older, that much was for sure, nearing adulthood even, or at least adulthood as muggles saw it. Dudley still didn't QUITE understand what the wizarding world considered an adult, but he figured he had a chance to learn now.

Regardless, it'd been around that time that the severe, yet gorgeous Transfiguration Professor had stopped by for a visit, checking up on Harry. It had been before Lily was cured by Hermione, way before, and apparently McGonagall had felt responsible, or something like that. However… she'd come at a bad time, or simply stayed too long, or… or something.

Dudley still couldn't say for sure what had been going on, all he knew was what he'd witnessed. Personally, he'd always wondered if perhaps the Professor had done it on purpose, because after that first time, they'd seen a lot more of her in the ensuing years. She'd become one of Harry's girls, basically… hell, she might have been his first.

That day, peeking through the crack in the door of the spare bedroom that his parents had given his cousin, Dudley had gotten quite the eyeful of Minerva McGonagall, Transfiguration Professor, having sex with Harry. Not just sex, and not the sort of sex Dudley would have attributed to the stern older woman. No, McGonagall had had cat ears and a cat tail while she and Harry had fucked, and from the way those ears had twitched and that tail had swished, they'd seemed to be real, in Dudley's unpracticed view.

On her hands and knees, Minerva had positively yowled as Harry took her from behind, though luckily Dudley's cousin was smart enough to cover her mouth with his hand, muffling the sounds she was making as he gave her the fucking, she so clearly both wanted AND needed. Thus, Dudley's parents didn't come running, nor did Lily wander her way up to disrupt them.

Instead, that day, Dudley had gotten his first taste of what sort of debauchery existed in the wizarding world, as he'd watched his cousin fuck his teacher nice and hard from behind. Harry had seemed a little bewildered at having the task forced upon him, but as Minerva begged him to fuck her, to plow her, to ram her harder like the kitty cat in heat she was, it was obvious that Dudley's cousin was more than up to the task.

… Shit, Dudley would have gladly been up to the task as well, if he'd been asked. In the end, it was more than a little hard to reconcile the severe woman with the cat-bitch in heat he'd seen that day getting railed from behind on Harry's bed. It was quite difficult indeed, and Dudley was still struggling with it, even now. But at the same time, it presented something of an opportunity, didn't it?

Dudley needed to figure out what triggered that side of McGonagall. Because now that he'd taken Harry's place, he was going to have all of Harry's women too. They'd called Harry the Savior of the Wizarding World or whatever, and it'd gotten him a harem. Well, Dudley wasn't looking to save anyone… but he definitely wanted the harem. He'd get it too, whatever it took, whatever the cost.

Minerva, if he could figure out how to make her as weak and horny and needy as he'd seen her that day with Harry, could be Dudley's first conquest. He just had to play his cards right…

-x-X-x-

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