The Broken 3rd Wall

*CRAASH!*

Ah yes, my normal morning had just started like any normal day should.

Start it with a bang, they said, perfectly explaining my morning when a fudging helicopter crashed into my apartment abruptly.

"Morning." I greeted the crash site with my sleepy voice. Digesting the new view from the bed. Like cool album covers with something burning in the background.

If I'm not mistaken, Three people in total slowly crawled out of it. Not so sure, my eyes weren't completely opened up. Still itchy and heavy.

I remember asking for a peaceful and happy life in my prayers, but no one told me God would give me a helicopter instead. Maybe, this is a divine message for me to run away from responsibilities.

I see what you did there, O Divine Being. Not bad at all.

"Need help?" I yawned as I approached them. Lending them a hand.

From their tattered uniform, they are journalists from one of the famous media. Geez, even the first thing in the morning, these guys just won't quit stalking my personal life, do they?

They even want to take a real close-up look by going this far.

"Ah, mister Daniel! Thank goodness you're here!" One of them fixed his glasses as he walked toward me.

"Sorry, lads, but I don't take autographs or interviews before prior appointments."

"But, sir! That's not it. We're here becau-"

"You're not gonna trick me. This is the third time your helicopter parked there this month for the same reason." Their eyes followed my pointing finger. "Even if you want to discuss an appointment for later, lemme get breakfast first, yeah?"

"W-We aren't here for any of that, mister! We-"

*KABOOM!*

Oh? Looks like another helicopter crashed nearby, from the way the explosion sounded just now.

I turned my attention back to them, "Shouldn't you people, document something big that is happening now?"

I pointed the outside. But as soon as I said it, they look at me dead in the eye. I don't have any idea what they're thinking. What did I do wrong?

However, a sudden loud screech startled them out of nowhere. They cower in fright. Me? This is my daily vitamin along with breakfast and all the tremors shaking the entire apartment at the same time.

"Fine…" I nodded resignedly knowing their intention well. "But I still need to make some breakfast first."

"Hello, visitors."

The three jumped out of surprise.

Seems like my process of thought has invited Kanya, my personal assistant to check on us.

Those journalists looked so stunned by the appearance of that small automaton. Fascinated even, either with the AI programming warmly greeting them or the cat ears twitching on its head happily.

I guess, ordinary people have it differently than the wealthy ones, huh?

[Morning greetings. What can I do for you, master?]

Kanya's voice rang straight into my brain. Thanks to the chip planted inside my head, I can control pretty much everything here with my mind.

They take a seat in the living room. I gave the order for Kanya to treat their wounds and make some treats while I'm busy in the kitchen for my breakfast.

Cooking things, making a call for someone to clean the mess, and doing things on my own. For once, I can be independent in my life!

My hands are swiftly adding ingredients for the cooking. Garlic, condiments, rice, everything except the most important thing for my hometown cuisine recipe.

I ran out of eggs. Should I take an alternative?

What was I thinking? Of course, balls won't do it here.

I mean… they look the same though…

I took a glance at those people and Kanya. Minutes passed, but Kanya still didn't do any of the tasks I gave or even move from the same place. It seems to be hesitant. I wonder what's going on inside that little processor.

"Search completed: Results, Top five places for an organ donor."

"Eep!"

"WHOA, WHOA, HOLD UP! WHOM THE HELL TOLD YOU TO DO THAT??"

The journalists screamed in unison, hugging each other. Of course, it was taking me aback with its sudden spout of nonsense. What is wrong with this machine??

I mean, surely this is Kanya's fault, but…

Ah, dammit, I guess my thoughts are leaking out again.

*Ding Dong!*

*Knock Knock!*

"Pardon the intrusion, Mister Dani! Excuse my impudence, may I enter now?" She said in one breath, after breaking into my room and standing completely straight against my face.

What do YOU mean by May I after all that…?? Hello? Where's my corteous aide??

Oh boy, Michelle is as helpless as ever as the flesh-personal-assistant.

She often gets the procedure of basic manner mixed up, like this one here. She rang the bell by herself, knocked on the door by herself, kicked the hell out of the door, and then apologized on her own behalf in a span of seconds.

A true inverted nature to her ladylike appearance.

"A First-Class Kaiju has appeared and wreck havoc around the city." Not even letting me process the whole thing, she started rambling again. "The order of subjugation and Ravagers extortion has been issued. The SKEF has been trying to contact you for a while but you were radio silent. Therefore, once more I'm he-"

"Okay, okay, I get it." I sighed heavily and glanced at the surrounding. "Gimme some time for breakfast, yeah?"

"What is it that you wish for? Western breakfast? Middle East feast? Or Asian dishes? Or me? Anything that you desire should be presented here."

"What??" I shook my head in shock, "J-Just take care of my cooking for a while. Need some missing stuff for Nasi Goreng. Also, please find someone to tidy up the mess." I pointed at the crashed helicopter.

"U-Understood."

I commanded quickly as I waltz around grabbing my stuff. Boy, the fire sure is picking up and getting bigger. Both the journalists and Kanya were frantically sweating at seeing it.

"And how about these people?"

I was about to step out when Michelle asked from the kitchen, pointing her knife at the object of question.

"…You know the drill." I answered nonchalantly.

"Understood" Is what I heard from the room before a restrained scream came out.

Don't worry, they'll be fine with her, probably…