Bell

'If there was a human equivalent for Chaos and disorder...'

I think I would be a prime example of one...

ever since I could remember or articulate any form of thought. "I" always believed that I was different. not because I am some sort of emotional stunted child no. I was born with this 'Need'....'

this. urge. persé...

An innate desire for... well lets call it "attention" shall we?

Sating this intrinsic 'need' was very easy in the beginning and all I needed to do was cause some mischief here and there then I would be all set, happy as a peach.

Those were by far my most innocent years but that also marked the start of my gradual decline into who I am and what entity I had become.

I was both feared and avoided by everyone all because of my numerous, childish pranks but I didn't care about that.

being avoided was fine for my younger self, I've always felt alone no matter how many people revolved around in my life, who assumed that they could "fix" me...

so I didn't really bother with trying to maintain any bonds with anyone...

thus at the tender age of 12 I committed my first "truly" villainous act.

'Wait Isn't that a bit abrupt jump in the scenario you ask?'

well for some of those dear impatient fellows..All I can say is...

you just need to listen. because I am getting to that part soon.

anyways.

you see. I was always fascinated by those old hero and villain comics, they use to sell back in my day. where good triumphs evil and what not...but I wasn't really in it for those goody two shoes. No. I've always had my eyes on the villain.

"Victims of circumstances."

What a grand label if I do say so myself.

they turned to villainy because the world demanded, twisted and programmed them to be the aggressors of the story.

for a period of time the younger me pitied... no empathized with them...

some of my favorite ones Like 'captain skull' didn't really have a choice when they became villains...

Was I the same?

frankly I felt sympathy because I too was born with something that made me "special."

something that slowly molded me, conformed me into a specific role.

A role that I didn't want but couldn't go against.

I did say it was fairly easy to sate these "needs" in the beginning right?

Right?

As I grew older and led my drastically changing life, it gradually got worse to the point that I committed a heinous and inhuman act because I couldn't control myself...

It ruined me in a lot of ways...

I won't spare anymore details on what I've done, I neither owe you anything to share my greatest trauma but...

lets just say I essentially lost something really dear to me.

it could be my innocence or sanity but who knows? and who really cares? right?

I don't care about that anymore.

I haven't cared about anything in a long time now that I think about it...

I just did my best keeping my urges sated...

so I wouldn't do something I didn't want...

Even if I had to get my hands dirty...

even if millions of people would lose there lives in the process...

I didn't really care...

I no longer cared about that anymore...

I guess in the end I was also groomed to be the villain of my very own story.

I wonder if some nameless child would be reading my story and pity me.

sympathize with me even...

A monster like me...

haahh...I also wonder if its all the same for humans when they are about to die they get sentimental like this...

but do I still count as a human being?

not that it really matters in the end...

sigh.

I had a nice run and I think I fullfilled my role satisfactorily in the grand scheme of things.

that aching desire to do what I "need" to do is now gone...

I am free now...

so I'd like to sleep...

I want to rest.

my job is done.

so you can be on your way now.

"....?"

My name?...

I've long since forgotten about that..

well if you really insist...

you can simply call me...

"Bell."

I am simply the monster that nearly destroyed this world.

interesting right?

.....