Cold

My hands trembled as she was handed over to me.

A pale looking infant with blue lips and skin as cold as the ocean.

"Do…s-something"

I whispered to the doctor, my voice breaking just a little bit as I tried to hold on to a little bit of control.

But I knew it.

In my heart, I knew it.

A mother knows.

"Do something…please" I choked out again.

Veins in my forehead popped out as I tried to hold in as much of the agony as I could.

As I tried to ignore that God awful sound in my heart.

"If you had come in sooner…if help had arrived sooner, Mrs Reign. I am sorry"

I stood still, tears ran down my face as I cradled her. Sobs ripped through me like bullet ricochet and it heaved havoc in its wake.

"Baby…"

I whispered.

"Little baby…"

I kissed her little cold nose and her little cold eyes…and her tiny fingers, and her loopy chest.

"Mrs Reign, Let me take care of that head injury…let's fix you up"

I brought the baby to my lips and I let my lips wet her forehead as tears slid down my face and wetted her.

"Little baby…" I said again.

"Your injury is serious, Mrs Reign. Let's take care of you"

"I know" but I was acknowledging a different type of injury than the doctor was talking about.

I was acknowledging her…my irrevocable loss.

"She needs to meet her father" I told the good doctor as another tear slid down my face "A girl needs her father, doesn't she?" I asked him.

"Yes, Mrs Reign. We are trying to contact Mr. Reign"

"Maybe you will have better luck than me. He didn't hear my call for help. He didn't. He must be busy" I rambled incoherently and I saw the look he gave me.

It was momentarily but I saw it.

"He is a good man, Dr Chavez…he is just a little cold towards me. Not everyone has the superpower of being loved unconditionally, people like me...it takes time" I rambled on like a mad person. "I bet if he knew I was calling for little baby…he would come, right?" I asked the doctor.

"Mrs Reign…" he looked speechless.

"He'd come, I'm sure of it" I stared down at my little cold daughter and another set of tears dropped down my eyes. "He'd come, little baby. I swear. For you, he'd come"

"The head injury, Mrs Reign"

I stood up

"I have to go"

I stated as a matter of fact.

"A girl needs to meet her Dad before she gets any colder"

"Mrs Reign, I can't let you leave with that head injury"

I stared at the good doctor.

He means well, I tried to remind myself.

He means well.

"I'm a mother cradling a cold baby, Dr Chavez. There is little you can do to stop me"

And so, I left.

Walked down the lonely road, made it to the house.

My body shook.

Was it because I was in shock? Could it be grief? Or could it be the giant sized gaping wound on my head that was leaking blood down my head?

I don't know.

"L-lucious!" I screamed his name in this heartbreaking tone that made my entire body quake but I held on to the wrapped blanket in my arm.

It was soiled in blood. Mine, I hope.

I opened the door and stepped into the living room.

It was empty. It was quiet.

It's never empty and it's never quiet. There were always servants, guests…there were always people but not today.

It was dead quiet.

"Lucious!" I screamed again and held the wrapped baby in my arm even tighter…closer to myself.

Then I saw it.

Clothes on the floor.

Not men's clothes….a girl's.

It made me pause…momentarily.

I followed the trail like it was bread crumbs left for me to find by the goddess.

I followed the trail diligently.

A red dress on the couch…that's not incriminating. Lots of people have red dresses.

I have a red dress.

A black bra on the staircase…not too bad. I have a black bra.

They were too small for my chubby boobs but our washing machine had a nasty habit of shrinking our clothes.

But you don't own any lace bra with hand stitched rose on the front, Katie, a little voice told me

Maybe a relative visited.

A messy relative of Lucious but a relative nevertheless…your relative, little baby.

I stayed in my delusion as I walked up the stairs.

I saw a man's shirt on the top of the staircase and his trouser wasn't far off from it.

Those, I recognized.

They were Lucious's actually.

Maybe he got hot and needed to cool off. It was his house too, he could wear his shorts around a relative if he wanted to. There was nothing wrong about wearing shorts around a cousin, was there?

But then what was the black panty doing on the door knob of our bedroom?

Even my exceptional power of delusion couldn't come up with an outrageous explanation.

So, I took a step.

I took another step and another until I was cradling the doorknob and in retrospect the panties with my bloodied hand.

I pushed it open.

And there he was.

My husband of three years dick deep into another woman's…hole.

Not another woman's…Calsey's.

Calsey Reid.

I'm Katie Reign.

But once upon a time before I married Lucious Reign I used to be Katie Reid.

Caley is my sister…my big sister…your auntie, little baby.

"Katy!"

Calsey saw me first and then Lucious. I had never seen him move away from anything so quickly in my life.

I wish he hadn't.

His aroused dick swerved and stared me down like it was purposely trying to drive me insane.

I didn't utter a word...what could I say that would make sense.

"I can explain. It's not what you think!" His lying cheating whore voice rang out in our bedroom.

"It isn't?" I asked him and sat down on the lone arm chair in our bedroom.

I brought my cold little daughter to my chest and I held her even closer to myself. I hummed a little to her while rocking back and forth.

"I can explain, Katie" he said again as he took the decorative plate on the little table to cover himself while Calsey gripped my handmade purple blanket to cover up herself.

I wish she hadn't done that...now, I have to burn it, along side everything else.

"Kaitlyn, I am..." Calsey started to say but I placed a little finger on my lips to shut her up.

"Hush, sis...my husband wants to explain. Don't you want to hear him talk?"

Author's note

A word for Katie