Lingering Doubt

Whoops, your eyes, man. They are only reserved for Nisha and no one else. Just keep looking at Nisha and Helena. Don't look at anything else.

"Are they your family?" the lady asks.

"Yeah," I answer.

They are my family. Nisha is basically the acting mother of my daughter. They love each other—I always have noticed that.

"They're beautiful," the woman compliments.

I just nod in response before drinking my cocktail. And finally, she's not talking to me anymore. Then, for like, two minutes later, she speaks again.

"What happened to Mister Gremlin earlier?"

I'm confused so I ask, "Mister Gremlin? Who's that?"

"That little green guy lying on the floor of the elevator."

"Oh, him!" I say with a nervous chuckle. "He uh. . . was drunk, I guess?"

"With his three bodyguards that aren't allowed to get intoxicated while on duty?"

"Uh, yeah. . ."

Just now, I notice I was looking at her this whole time as she raises her eyebrow at me. I let out a quick nervous chuckle before turning my gaze at Nisha and Helena.

"That's alright," she says. "That man deserved that. He tried to touch your wife, didn't he?"

"Yeah, but he got angry because I stopped him and his bodyguards tried to hurt me and my family. So, he gets a kick in the balls—done by my daughter."

I laugh, looking back at it and remembering the face of that green turd. She laughs too and that's when I stop. Nisha will get mad at me if she finds out I'm talking to another woman.

Wait, she's looking right here. What?! My eyes widened as she looks at me but she smiles mouthing, "Go ahead." She could be hiding malice behind that smile. I don't wanna be rude but I must stop this now.

"If you'll excuse me," I smile at the lady and leave the bar as soon as I finish drinking.

"Okay. . ."

She keeps looking at me while I walk away. It makes me uncomfortable even though I'm not looking. Nisha might get more mad.

I squat just before the pool gutter as Nisha rests her face on her arms, looking up at me. Helena is behind her, floating above the water using her powers.

"How did it go?" Nisha asks me.

"What did?" I pretend I don't know what she means.

"It was obvious she was interested in you, you know."

"Nah, that lady? We're just talking about something." She smiles at me. "Talking about you! I told her how much I love you and Helena—that's all."

"Hey, I told you, remember? It is absolutely okay for me if you create your harem so that you'll get stronger faster. All I ask is just let me be in it."

Hot women around me while sleeping. . . sounds like a fantasy dream that every man dreams of.

But not this man! I'm man enough to be satisfied with one! The meaningfulness of a relationship with one woman is greater than a shallow relationship with multiple!

*Ahem*

"I know you said that," I say. "but I won't. You're enough for me." She just narrows her eyes at me. "What?"

"Nothing," she says, forwarding her chin with that smug on her face.

"Papa and Nisha, lovey-dovey," Helena giggles.

Nisha is blushing as retreats to the water while I'm dumbfounded by what my daughter just said. "Where did you learn that?" I ask.

"Lovey-dovey!" she yells and a lot of people heard that!

"Stop that," I say calmly but widen my eyes so she'll know I don't like it. She's laughing as she floats away.

Argh! This is so embarrassing! Some of them are looking at us. I wanna die!

The rest of our time in this hotel is, I would say, not bad. I had a fun time with my daughter and Nisha. They like it here because you can't run out of things to do. Helena is enjoying this the most so far. I don't know why she's not getting enough playing in the bounce house. I lost count of how many times we've been here. Maybe it's because she gets to meet other kids who were her age. But she gets sad whenever one of them had to leave because their parents can't afford a long stay. It breaks my heart whenever I see her feeling down. I tried my best to cheer her up but that only solved things for a short time.

Sometimes, I watch her train with Zuriel in his domain. She's getting good at using her powers as well as the grimoire I gave to her which was from Zuriel when he traded with that Collector.

Not only them that are training but Nisha and I also spar against each other. Zuriel let me borrow a Frame that has a dojo for a Domain. There, we train and agreed not to hold back. She's very strong and fast with her sword. My Angelus Frame is struggling to keep up with her so I always end up using Algron—my most reliable Frame. I keep my distance and just shoot at her but she's getting used to it, dodging and slicing my bullets.

*Ping*

I'm out of bullets! Gotta reload! Hurry, before she—

Crap, her sword is already near my throat. She's too fast. This is why I always lose.

"You got me, babe," I concede like the loser I am.

Breathing through her mouth, she looks at me, hungry. She jumps on me, pinning me on the ground and kissing me hard. This isn't the first time this has happened.

We just couldn't help ourselves inside this domain. We're alone and pretty much can do whatever we want to do. No boundaries. I lost count of how many times this happened and each time, my feelings grow deeper for her.

After we're done, we just lie on the wooden floor, both tired, staring at the ceiling. We breathe hard because not only our sparring was vigorous, but also that "act".

There's that feeling of doubt again. . . It's always lingering whenever I make love with her. It scares me, to think that all of what I feel is not real. But it feels so good to be fake. Or is it just I don't know what real love feels like because I never had it in the real world? I'm confused.

"What's the matter?" she asks, noticing the sudden change in my emotion.

"Nothing," I say to stop her worrying.

As we fix ourselves up, she's still observing me but I pretend I don't notice. I don't want to tell her because it would make me less of a man. Because I should not be worried about this. This is supposed to be a woman's job.

"There's definitely something wrong," she says, touching my cheek and making me turn my face to her so she could watch me closely. "Tell me." Her face is full of concern.

I'm not brave enough to look into her eyes for longer. So, I watch her half-opened lips as I say, "It might upset you."

"Whatever it is, it won't. Just tell me."

I take a moment looking at her beautiful face and brushing her white hair with my fingers. She nods, urging me to speak. "I feel like. . ." Should I say it?