A Borrowed Blade

I am a nameless ninja from abroad that was sent to study the activities of a certain ruler in Japan. Currently, it seems that one of my contacts has betrayed me. How do I know? Well, it seems like a certain Japanese ninja has been following me for a few hours already. Luckily, I already got all the information I needed about that ruler. Now, all I must do is dispose of this Japanese ninja following me like a cat to a laser.

That ninja had been following me since early morning from when the sun rose. I was wary of that ninja at first, but as time went by I noticed that ninjas in Japan are… idiots. Like, I have heard rumors about these Japanese ninjas, but I never really believed how stupid their methods are until I saw it for myself. I'm at a busy street right now and it's almost noon.

The ninja following me had been wearing black garments covering his entire body for hours under this scorching summer heat. First off, wearing all black is basically telling everyone who sees you that you are a ninja and it stands out during the daytime like a speck of ink on a blank piece of paper. Ninjas everywhere else know that to blend in, they should wear the same clothes as everyone else and not stick out like a sore thumb.

Also, the Japanese ninjas apparently assassinate victims using weapons like ninja stars and daggers. Those methods are so stupid! For example, ninjas like me in every other country use discreet methods but ninjas here in Japan use ninja stars which can be traced back to them! Also, killing someone and leaving a visible wound is basically telling the entire world that they have been assassinated! It's basic ninja training in every other country to be discreet and leave no traces.

To be honest, it's beneath me to deal with a Japanese ninja as others in my organization usually ignore them. The Japanese ninjas are too easy to deal with and aren't even considered real ninjas to us. It would be a humiliation to deal with them. Unfortunately for me, I have orders to eliminate all who knows of my operations. I can already imagine the smirks I would get from other ninjas.

I walked into a ramen shop nearby and called for the waiter. The waiter approached me and handed me a menu, "What would you like, sir?"

I feigned a yawn and casually glanced behind me. Sure enough, the ninja following me was standing across the street in a dark alleyway staring at me warily. I smirked and told the waiter, "Just give me your special."

The waiter nodded and went to prepare the order. While I was waiting for my order, I exaggeratedly took out a pen from my backpack and grabbed a napkin. I made sure that my actions were clearly be seen by that Japanese ninja.

I wrote a short message on the napkin with the pen while making sure the Japanese ninja saw me writing. After writing, I brought the napkin closer to myself and made sure my back covered the napkin, so the Japanese ninja couldn't see.

The waiter arrived and handed me a steaming hot bowl of ramen. I turned towards the waiter and smiled, "Thanks!". As I was turning back towards the table, I casually glanced at the Japanese ninja again to make sure he was still there. Sure enough, the Japanese ninja following me has not moved from the alley at all. How predictable.

The Japanese ninja will not be able to notice a thing as I have already undergone the training for these casual gestures. To the Japanese ninja, I looked as if I was eating the noodles. In actuality, my arm was pulling something out from within my clothes. Using what I pulled from my shirt, I sprinkled a bit of it on the napkin with the "message" I wrote. None of these actions were seen by the Japanese ninja.

After doing these tasks, I took my time in eating my ramen. While I was eating, I was inwardly laughing, "Oh you Japanese ninja, enjoy being out in the hot sun during noon. I bet you are starving by now watching me eat." While I was eating, I did not skip out on occasionally making exaggerated sighs of satisfaction.

After I finished, I called for the waiter. The waiter hurried over and said, "Do you need anything else?"

I shook my head and said, "That's all I need. Here is what I owe you." I gave the waiter a large sum of money.

Seeing his glowing eyes, I added quietly, "There's more where that came from."

The waiter furiously nodded his head, "Anything you want, sir!"

I leaned forward and said, "Later on, if you see someone lying on the street, incite the bystanders to beat him up. You could say he killed someone in this restaurant or something."

The waiter's eyes widened and was hesitant. I casually took out more money and placed it in his pocket. I patted the pocket and whispered, "You'll earn a fortune."

The hesitation vanished from the waiter's eyes and he said determinedly, "Alright. If nothing happens later today do I still get the money?"

I smiled, "Of course. I'll be watching you for the rest of the day so give me a good show." After saying that, I shooed the waiter away. I grabbed the wooden chopsticks I finished the ramen with and snapped the pair in half. They were much shorter now and I carefully picked up the napkin with my broken pair of chopsticks.

The Japanese ninja probably hasn't noticed anything special yet. The chopsticks were too short and could be covered with the side of my legs. I walked into the center of the street right outside the ramen shop with many bystanders. I glanced around and saw the ninja still in the alley.

I "dropped" the napkin with the message in the middle of the road and walked away. I stopped after getting to the end of the street. I turned around and saw the ramen shop from afar. I saw the Japanese ninja quickly dash out from the alley he was hiding in and swoop in to grab my "message".

As soon as the Japanese ninja touched the napkin, he seemed to have gone frozen as if a jolt of electricity passed through him and he curled up on the ground, shivering. Seeing this, I laughed and thought, "I wonder if he saw the message before he was hit by the paralyzing toxin I sprinkled on the napkin."

The message I wrote was, "If you are reading this, I hope you like being beaten!" I also wrote, "You probably should have stayed in the alley. ┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴"

The waiter from the ramen shop quickly rushed out, yelling to the bystanders, "Help! That man curled up on the ground killed my wife!"

The bystanders quickly circled around the ninja and started hitting him. While they were hitting the ninja, the waiter fanned the flames, "He also stole all my money and burned down my house!"

Seeing the ninja being beaten black and blue, I chuckled and muttered, "Really an idiot ninja, falling for such a simple trick. Killing with a borrowed blade really is the best method. There is a reason why the world only knows about Japanese ninjas."