29
I walked into the room, head empty, heart losing its feeling.
Pain.
That word.
That word I had now grasped in my hold.
It was a word that encompassed all of the troubles, distress, hurt and utter sorrow one felt.
It was a word everyone was familiar with, but barely all, knew what impact the word had
It was a word we prayed not to know the depths of its meaning.
It was that feeling that englobed me now as I walked into my dorm room.
There stood Audrey, arms wrapped around the juddering shoulders of Hannah Grace, the sound of her sobs pouring out faint into the space.
"How am I supposed to go on about my daily activities?" That utterance of hers was filled with every pain, voice wavering.
"The whole school knows, Audrey! They fucking know!"
I never heard her curse, never knew her to be one portraying her emotions through the harshest, vulgar words, but here she was, the figure of the girl who bore herself to me, crying her heart out.
"Hannah" I barely could hear my own voice, utterance low, but just managed to grab the attention of Audrey who had turned to me at once, acknowledging my presence in the room.
Her gaze on me was blank, eyes shifting from my form, and back to that of Hannah Grace still in her hold.
"I'm sorry" I uttered, not knowing where to begin from, still, I had to begin somewhere.
"I swear I didn't—
Words caught hanging in the air, the form of Hannah had sprung up abruptly, figure turning, soon giving me proper view of those eyes which had turned red and puffy from her wails.
That gaze was mellow, face dull, and not caring to spare me a glance, she brushed past me, making her disgust known by storming out my presence.
This was it.
This truly was it. The reaction I yearned to see, not the silence that itched at every part of my being, leaving me all helpless.
"What happened, Anna?"
Audrey's words caught me, eyes onlooking the girl away.
"How did that get out?"
"How did your diary get out" Her eyes were rushed with confusion.
"Also—She paused mid-words, eyes intent on my form—You have feelings for Zac?"
"Since when?"
The silence which made its way in minutes later, left me all torn, the weight of such tensity, striking onto my shoulders.
"I don't know" My own voice wavered, eyes fixed on the marble floors, refusing to match the eyes of the girl away.
"Talk to me, Anna. Do not keep me in the dark"
She had come over to meet me, hands resting on my shoulder.
"I need you to talk to me" Her voice remained firm. "What happened?"
"It just came about, Audrey"
I still struggled with those tears so well. Fought to bear myself in my most vulnerable form, even though I had gotten so much as comfortable with Audrey, I battled to unveil those maddening emotions.
"I don't know what drew me to him, I still can't figure that out....but I swear, I never meant to do anything inconsiderate to Hannah"
"She's my friend" My voice broke, eyes shut tight, while my utterances poured out weak, wavering.
"Oh, crap" The words of Audrey fell low, hands still rested on my shoulders.
"Believe me, I'm terrible at consoling people—Her utterance remained low, hands reaching for my face—but I will tell you one thing. This is something so little that shouldn't even be over emphasized"
"And no one should crucify you all because your heart poured its light out on someone"
I was starting to go with her words, not until I saw that grin on her face, and the tease in her eyes.
"Everyone's bound to fall for Zac, Anna" She followed immediately. "He has that...pull. That one which is just bound to make anyone long for him"
"Although, not on me" She called at once, arms raised up.
And I did just that. I longed for him all this while.
Longed in folly, and longed to have my tears rush to the surface.
"But whatever this is, you better mend things with Hannah" The soft voice of Audrey broke out.
"I hate being tossed in the center of some malice" She added sternly, soon getting to her feet, moving to the door.
"I'll be outside" She called, spinning around to me.
"And get yourself together, Anna. Life wouldn't take a pause"