Chapter 2583: Whistling Down (32)

Shiller had just stepped out the door when he saw the Joker standing under a street lamp, wearing an ordinary jacket, slightly crooked as he seemed to fiddle with a lighter in his hand.

A light drizzle had already started to fall from the sky, and Shiller opened his umbrella as he approached, saying, "You won't get what you want from pestering me, I wasn't the one who came up with that scheme for Universe Batman."

"That's not what I'm concerned about right now," the Joker replied, continuously flipping the lighter in his hand. "Another me has approached me, hoping to form some kind of team. I find it utterly boring, but I'm still curious why he wants to do it."

"You probably don't want to know the answer," Shiller said, adding to himself that not everyone wants to get their hands dirty.

"Then let's talk about the scheme," the Joker said with a grin as he walked over. "The day after tomorrow, I'm planning another big bank heist to make up for the losses you caused with your damn plan. How about the bank on the next street over?"

"There's something I'm really curious about." Facing the Joker, Shiller finally returned to his overly sharp manner of speaking. "How do you precisely scour Gotham for so many dumb crooks? Is this what they mean by 'birds of a feather flock together'?"

The Joker laughed, seemingly quite pleased with Shiller's joke. "Not only can I find so many dumb crooks, but I can find even more. Stupid people are always self-righteous and easier to manipulate. I quite like them."

"You want them to be shot or kill each other, turning the ground bloody," Shiller sighed and shook his head. "I really can't come to terms with this style, but if you're willing to do it, what reason do I have to stop you?"

"If this were to happen tomorrow, then your housewarming party the day after would certainly have a sensational topic," the Joker said as he snapped his lighter shut. "You wouldn't even need to do anything, just open the door for guests, and they will talk about this brutal crime that happened close to their community for hours on end."

"They will start worrying about the safety of the community, hoping someone will stand up for justice. They'll curse everything from heaven to earth before moving on to the recent economic downturn. That would take you entirely out of social interaction, just nodding and agreeing is all you would need to do."

The Joker stepped in front of Shiller, deliberately leaning in close and saying, "I'm very good at making a big scene, you know my talents. So, do you want me to do this?"

The Joker pinpointed exactly what Shiller was thinking, "A perfect escape plan is far more effective than all the trivial things you're doing right now. And the truth is, you don't care how many people die. There's no such thing as universal morality for you."

"Just move the event up one day, and all your anxieties would be sliced away. Do you want it this way? Professor."

Shiller stayed silent, not speaking, as the Joker continued, "You could easily do this yourself. You know, causing a major incident within the community is worth more than buying a ton of decorations, thinking of a day's worth of topics."

"You have the ability. You've said it yourself, there are geniuses among ordinary people. You could just be a talented ordinary person. So why choose a foolish approach? What difference is there between you and those dumb thieves?"

The Joker agilely stepped back, avoiding Shiller's swinging umbrella. He could tell Shiller didn't really mean to hit him, just wanted him to back off.

"I told you, I just can't accept your method of committing crimes," Shiller said, pursing his lips. "It's too ugly."

"Really?" The Joker began to look dissatisfied. "Don't you find it amusing to watch those people kill each other over worthless pieces of paper?"

"But it's too noisy," Shiller revealed a look of utter disdain. "It'll be loud for at least three days. During the act, the police will shout through megaphones, and if someone dies, the ambulance will come several times with sirens blaring, and journalists with microphones will swarm in."

"They won't just interview bank employees but also nearby residents. If security won't let them in, you'll see them shouting at the entrance of the community, claiming the government is hiding the truth."

"People will consider the bank with dead people bad luck, detouring to more distant banks, thus choosing to drive. The community entrance will be blocked with traffic, everyone complaining and arguing. "

The more Shiller talked, the more wrong it seemed. "Neighborhood relationships will sour quickly. In retaliation against neighbors, people will start neglecting the lawns in front of their houses, parking haphazardly, and then the community's value will plummet… Wait a minute, you can't do this!"

"Why not?"

"Because it will cause property values to drop."

"What????"

"I mean, the chaos you cause will devalue our community, dropping the price of the house I just bought," Shiller emphasized. "The disorder you create will depreciate my property."

The Joker's eyes widened in disbelief as he looked at Shiller, almost charging at him, only to be blocked by Shiller's umbrella.

"You said you disliked my way of doing things. If you hate the fuss so much, shouldn't you discuss what your ideal quiet crime would look like?"

In fact, Shiller had been thinking about this very point. Following the topic's trajectory, after discussing the chaotic consequences of the Joker's way, Shiller should have moved on to talk about his own preferred form of artistry.

But the problem was the severity of the chaos the Joker's methods could cause. His house was purchased only a few days ago, and now it was about to depreciate?

Indeed, he had bought the house for far less than market value, which means he might have made a $500,000 profit from the start. But if the property value dropped, wouldn't that mean making only $400,000, as if losing $100,000 in just three days?

Compared to writing a paper that only awards a little over $1,000, isn't that $100,000 like writing over a hundred papers? Goodness knows how much hair he'd lose writing those papers or guiding his graduate students and PhDs to produce that many papers.

"You can't do this," Shiller stressed again. "If you dare to start trouble at the nearby bank, I will give Universe Batman a far more dreadful scheme."

"You just said that wasn't you!"

"Indeed, which is why it's an even more terrifying scheme," Shiller said. "You wouldn't want to know what the Batman of my cosmos has done."

The Joker narrowed his eyes.

"I think you might want to check out the recent entertainment news," Shiller continued. "Especially the talk show segments, they've got quite the star there."

"No, I don't care about them, I just want to say..."

"If you still don't understand what your actions could result in, I can do the math for you, but I need to go back and get my home purchase contract, so just wait here and don't..."

The Joker turned and left.

As he walked away, he cursed under his breath, defenselessly. Who wanted to listen to home purchase contracts and property devaluation? Was that what he came for?

The Joker didn't bother with Shiller behind him; he angrily stepped into an alleyway, leaning against the wall, neurotically spitting out broken words.

"This damned monster... a beast in human skin... vulgar, stinking, boring, uninteresting..."

Ever since their first meeting, the Joker just wanted to peel off Shiller's human skin, which was also his purpose for coming here tonight.

Shiller said he wanted to be an ordinary person, and the troubles of ordinary people are many. Identifying specific issues was simple. The Joker had trailed Shiller to the night market and saw him buying many odd decorative items, his body language and expressions betraying his anxiety, indicating that he was facing certain problems.

Then the Joker attacked a postman and, from his bag, found the letters Shiller sent to others asking about allergens; he knew Shiller wanted to throw a party. Thus, the reason for Shiller's purchases of odd items and his anxiousness became quite evident.

Topics, something commonplace yet precious for ordinary people, are vital for these social creatures who live off others and shiver in solitude. To them, lacking common topics with comrades is like Hell.

If the host of a social event fails to provide enough common topics for the guests, allowing the party to go silent, it's an utter social disaster.

Shiller is destined to be poor at this, for he is just wearing a layer of human skin; he isn't truly immersed in needless worries like those vulgarly boring ordinary people who can develop an endless array of conversational topics.

The Joker knew very well, their kind's way of thinking is extremely efficient, so they hardly ever speak without thinking. This means they don't engage in mental redundancy and naturally do not spout nonsense.

However, socializing requires nonsense, worrying where worry isn't needed, and vice versa, which is the everyday life of ordinary people. If everything is under control, it will surely result in a mute, like Batman.

The Joker thought that what Shiller was doing, like preparing food and buying all kinds of odd decorations, was a waste of effort. Ordinary people spend very little time on this type of communication, their interest fleeting without a trace.

Only fear can generate abundant communication among them.

Therefore, the Joker had prepared a gift for Shiller's housewarming party—a bloody massacre that would incite panic among the lambs.

Once they felt fear, they would endlessly communicate with their companions. Even if the host of the banquet did nothing, the entire event would absolutely not grow dull. It might even be that, out of fear, they would want to stay in the Professor's yard and not leave. They might ultimately elect him as the community leader, asking him to ensure their safety.

This would allow Shiller to integrate rapidly into the community, almost perfectly achieving his goal to be an ordinary person. The only price to pay would be a few hostages and police officers.

How could the Joker's gifts be without traps? What he offered were always jack-in-the-boxes; if Shiller chose to do this, the Joker would have a way to unveil a corner of his human skin.

From the letters the Joker got from the postman's bag, which inquired about allergens, there were names and addresses, not all the guests, but a good portion of the neighbors nonetheless.

Now the Joker had money; those foolish robbers who had escaped with Shiller's help ended up in his hands and brought him a tidy sum.

Tonight or tomorrow, these neighbors who had received the letters would come into an unexpected fortune. In these hard times, no one would turn down a gift from heaven, but since it's cash, it has to be deposited in the bank, right?

Due to the high crime rate, Gothamites don't keep cash at home; too much money lays groundwork for nightmares. They would surely rush to the bank.

The bank would have a power outage in the morning, and they would be informed that deposits were impossible. Thus, they would have no choice but to go in the afternoon, and unfortunately, vicious robbers would, in negotiation with the police, take the bank patrons hostage and ruthlessly murder them.

The Joker believed that the savvy police chief or Batman would soon realize a common feature among the victims: they had almost all received a letter from Shiller around the same time.

There would be no definitive evidence; hosting a housewarming party and sending letters inquiring about allergens had no connection to the act of depositing money at the bank, so it couldn't lead to a conviction.

But reporters didn't care about these details; they just wanted juicy news stories. With a little effort, other community residents would quickly realize the commonalities.

The Joker wanted to burn a hole in Shiller's perfect human skin, so that when the hole was there, someone would discover the kind of monster living beneath.