A Coward's Pleads

The eerie atmosphere ran along all my nerves as the emptiness rang deep inside my heart with a feeling I thought I've long forgotten returns. My lungs tightened as I try to silently gasp out for air, but then I felt a sudden pain in my dry throat. My vision became blurry. My cheek became a little wet as a clear liquid ran down my face. My entire body started to tremble.

Even with my best efforts to stay calm, my breathing became erratic. Slowly, my field of vision becomes narrow, everything around me is turning dark. I could only focus on my hands desperately clinging onto the fabric of my gown. I could only see my trembling hands, nothing else at all.

"Amber..." A faded sound reached out to me.

"Amber!" Suddenly Damon's voice became clear, snapping me out, I gasped silently. Damon saw my widened eyes and narrowed his, immediately putting on a smile, "Stay here alright? You won't need to go out there," He used his head voice to talk to me like a small child. I look around as Felix and Aurelius rushed out of the room and Damon seemingly about to follow.

"You're not going out there, Damon" I tried getting up, but Damon pushed me down immediately.

"I am and you're not. I'll be fine. Plus this is the first time you seemed worried about me," Damon chuckled lightly, "I'm strong enou-"

"No!" I shouted with all the strength I had and tried getting up again, but my knees were weakened and I fell onto the cold marble floor.

"You're in no position to stop me. I'm not like Hiroto," Damon stood tall as for once in my life, I looked at him staring down at me with pity, "I'll be fine."

With those words, he ran away and I... I was powerless to do anything, my legs paralysed to the floor as Shin quietly stared.

"Don't I just look pathetic..." I laughed to myself. Look at this monster you deemed evil, Shin... "Looks pleasant, doesn't it? My sorry state."

Silence. Shin responded with nothing, but a pitiful, disgusted and disappointed glare.

Before Shin can I notice, I wiped the tears away, but it seemed to be in vain as my vision only became more and more blurry. My heart was pounding so hard, it may as well break my ribcages. The room looked to be twisting, turning, bending as I feel as if there was a butterfly in my stomach.

'STAY WITH ME,' A screeching scream from a faint memory in the back of my mind rang, making me hold onto the fabric of my skirt as tight as possible. Something about the action felt familiar. Felt safe.

'Don't leave me alone!' My vision flashed to see someone lying there, bleeding out as my hands frantically tried to fix it with every spell I knew, forbidden or not and then... I saw the pristine marble floor again.

As I hear Shin's footsteps against the floor fading I muttered without a second thought, "Don't leave me alone too,".

The steps stopped in their track.

"Not again… never again… this can't happen… THAT won't happen again," I muttered nonsensical words to myself.

What if...

What if I just run. Run away. Run to a far place and stay there. No disturbances, no disturbing anyone. Maybe... if I didn't exist... this wouldn't be happening...

I want to go. The racing of my heart would stop...

The ringing in my ears will fade with time... right?

'Don't leave me alone'

'Don't go'

'You're going to be fine'

I tell myself that if I'd ignore it long enough... it'd stop...

"If they're the bad guys. If they bother you so much. Then get rid of them," Shin held the door open, waiting for me. "I can't hate you in peace if you look this pathetic."

"Isn't that encouraging..." Get rid of them huh? I wish I was strong enough for that... this irritating feeling might finally go away, "Monsters... they're not like anything in this world and you say that so simply,"

"You talk like you're like anything else in this fantasy hell. You're all damn monsters. I swore to myself I'd kill you and everything like you. You're just not the hardest to kill at the moment, so are you gonna help me kill them or not?"

"And make my name come closer to the top of her hit list?" I asked, slowly getting, supporting myself with the table.

"You seem to care more about your phobias than your life,"

My life isn't worth much. Never has. If I die who'd care except that douche Hiroto? I could disappear now and the world would be better off without me. The only reason I'm still here is that no one's killed me yet.

To think of it... what am I so scared of? The most precious thing they can take from me right now is my life, Misa's in the vampire realm thousands of miles away, Hiroto's somewhere else and Fay is... not here.

They can't do crap to hurt me mentally. Sure they could kill me, but that's not really a concern.

"Well I'd rather be dead than mildly bothered," I scoffed and made my way to the door, "Thank you,"

"For?"

"Reminding me how little I'm worth to me,"