Laid Off Or..

The wind is howling and battering on the windows of a 4 bedroom two story house. Laying in bed is a man drenched in sweat, tossing and turning in his sleep. His name is Devin Johnson, 28 years old, single but not a virgin. Off of work for an entire month he fell into a deep depression and went straight to sleep when he got home. This is his story.

Suddenly jolting awake, I feel an immense pain spreading throughout my body and a great stench wafting off of my flesh. Looking down in surprise, I see my body covered in a dark blue clay like substance. Getting up, I hurry into the bathroom in the hallway and walk into the shower. Grabbing my body wash, I scour my body, every inch before rinsing off. Staring at the drain as the nasty blue substance flows down, I shake my head before getting out and drying off.

Toweling off my hair, I look up at the mirror and yelp in surprise. Can you blame me? I mean I should be seeing a scraggly bearded 330 pound ugly bastard, instead what I'm seeing defies all logic. Shoulder length jet black hair, cobalt blue eyes, sword like eyebrows and a chiseled jawline, ripped abs and other aesthetically pleasing muscles, a perfect copper skin tone and a bright white perfect smile. Also I've gone from just over 6 feet tall to 6 and a half feet tall roughly. All in all, I've somehow become the king of men.

Returning to my room, I sat on my bed, when suddenly a bright light shone in my room and an ancient looking scroll floated towards me in the air. Reaching out shakily, I grab it and open it. The contents are shocking to say the least. It read as follows:

Dear Devin Johnson,

I, the Supreme God, must inform you that you died late last night due to an identity mixup. An old man who shares your name was meant to die, but I accidently wrote your name in my Book of Death. In order to make up for this, I have gifted you with a new body, and a natural inborn ability towards immortal cultivation. I've upgraded your spiritual roots to God tier, which means one day you too can become a God. I've attached a custom cultivation manual called Yang God Cultivation, and the Dao God Supreme Martial Arts manual. These two manuals will be directly transferred to your mind on completion of reading this message. Also this message will disintegrate upon your completion of reading. Finally I'll include a manual for pill forging, a manual for creating spiritual weapons, and finally a manual for creating talismans. All manuals shall now be implanted in your memories. Enjoy your new life, and may we meet one day in the Realm of the Gods.

Yours truly,

The Almighty God

With a flash the scroll in my hands vanished, and suddenly I felt a warm feeling in my head as the manuals were implanted in my mind. An hour later, I exhaled slowly and sat up on my bed. All of the knowledge is there, I feel like I've known it for millennia. As for the martial arts, I'll need to practice it to see how much talent I have. For now, I should immediately begin cultivating according to the instructions from the Yang God Cultivation manual. The manual states that I will draw spiritual energy from the sun during the day and the stars at night. It states that even when I'm not actively cultivating, my body will absorb spiritual energy on it's own, though on a much smaller scale. In other words I have a passive skill! Sweet! Now let's begin with cultivating the Body Tempering Realm. The realms are as follows:

Body Tempering

Foundation Establishment

Qi Refining

Core Establishment

Nascent Soul

Immortal Soul

Lesser God

Minor God

God

God King

God Emperor

Supreme God

Almighty God

Over God

????

All known realms go up to Over God who rule over many universes, however there is rumored to be one final realm, an unknown realm. Whether this is true, no one knows, but the name given to it is called Dao God. All of this information and more swirls around in my mind before I calm myself and begin my cultivation. Before long I wake from my cultivation and am shocked to my core. Four hours of cultivation and I've reached the peak of Body Tempering?! I mean I know my spiritual roots are God Tier, but still isn't this a bit exaggerated? Oh well, enough of that.

Getting dressed, I head out into the kitchen and see both of my parents on the couch in the living room watching L and O. Grabbing out a couple cheese burgers, I turned on the stove and set the frying pan down and began cooking. As I stood there cooking, my dad came over and spoke to me. "Bud your mom and I are going to England for three weeks, so you'll be alone in the house. All I ask is, if you throw a party, though I don't see you doing it, that you clean up afterwards. Also our vehicle is yours until we get back, we just need you to drop us off at the airport today. By the way have you been working out lately? I never noticed. Good job bud, keep it up and you'll be getting the ladies in no time." Shaking my head at my dad's words, I smile and nod my head.

We're now arriving at the airport, and I'm waving goodbye to my parents as they head into the waiting area. Starting up the Jeep, I then turn around and exit the airport heading back home. Yes I'm living with my parents at 28. Long story short, I had a bad break up and moved out of my girlfriend's place and am staying with my parents until I get back on my feet. Anyway, enough of that, I'm halfway home but I think I'll stop at the local park and go train in the woods.

Arriving at Ellis Park, I get out and set off for the woods at a brisk jog. Watching the park fly by me, I travel deeper and deeper into the woods until I find a clearing in the trees, a meadow if you will. Lowering my stance, I begin practicing the first move of Dao God Supreme Martial Arts called Buddha Palm Becoming The Mountain. Closing my eyes and widening my stance, I flatten my palms and stick my arms straight out on both sides of my body. Lowering my stance, I begin rotating my palms around my body in an infinity symbol while rapidly striking out my palms in all directions. After repeating this sequence of moves for twenty minutes, my eyes snapped open. The reason? Because there is someone watching me from the shadows.

Taking in a deep breath, I released my killing intent before shouting, "Show yourself, I've already sensed your presence!" Suddenly, I heard a feminine gasp, and a nation destroying beauty revealed herself to me from behind a tree. Barely five feet tall with dark brown hair down to her back, at least a C cup bust, and a perfectly perky ass, she's gorgeous. And as she stepped closer, I realized that she's an exotic half white, half Chinese girl. Wearing traditional Chinese martial arts clothing, she's clearly out here to train as well.

Now that she's about ten feet away from me, she bowed low before introducing herself. "Feng Mei of Flying Lotus Dojo greets Senior. May I ask what godly martial art you were practicing?" With sparkling eyes, and a pure innocence, I realized I can't judge her age. Damn asians and their agelessness! Stroking my chin and nodding, I decided to answer her. "This is a martial art called 'Buddha Palm Becoming The Mountain', and is a secret martial art from my sect master." "Apart from this, I'm afraid that I can't reveal any more." Shaking her head, the girl lowered her head with faintly blushing cheeks before saying something unexpected. "Senior, may I ask for a spar?" Huh?!