Chapter 3: Still Confused

"What?!" she shouted when I told her what had happened.

"Shh! Lower your voice down!"

"Bi*ch, I made an effort to meet him so I could bring him here, and then you just send him home right away?!"

"No! I did not! He just left on his own. I didn't tell him to go home."

"Still! You just let him go. You should have stopped him."

"I'm sorry, okay? I just don't know how to reply to him." I apologized as we walked to the nearby store to buy snacks.

"Apology denied. Buy me snacks then I'll accept your apology." she said as I just rolled my eyes.

"Anyways, you talked to him, right? What did you feel when you saw him?" I looked at her and started thinking.

"I honestly got mesmerized by the sight of him." I replied.

He's not that good looking but I feel the butterflies on my stomach when he talked. His voice was attractive. And I can say that he is half of my ideal type.

"That was cringey." she sips on her cola with a disgusted look.

"Pfft. It's because you're never been in love. You're a pure fraud."

"What the hell?" I laughed then run as she runs too to follow me.

••••••••••

"Okay, Caily. You can now activate your account again and unblock his number then talk to him." I said trying to motivate myself.

I pressed the activation button and in a few seconds, I received many messages from him. I read it all and the messages turned out to be the same as the night I deactivated it.

After a few minutes, he sent a friend request. I accepted it immediately and I also received his message instantly. Before I could reply, he suddenly called on my phone as I answered.

"I just got home." he said.

The moving up ended two hours ago but he left there was three hours ago.

"You traveled in three hours?" I asked.

"Only two hours"

"Then why you just got home?"

"I came back there just to see you go up on the stage receiving your last medal." I can't help but fluster at what he just said.

"Oh, Um..."

"I know that you still don't want to talk to me. But for now, listen to me."

"Okay." I agreed.

"I know I'm at fault before but I hope you don't blame me now because it's not our problem before we broke up. But if you would ask why I did that is because I thought you don't feel anything for me." I was just listening to his explanation about the previous incident when we were just new in a relationship.

I don't know why he says to don't criticize him even if that's the reason why I lost trust in him. And I don't think his thought about me before is a valid reason to cheat on me.

"Cheater is a cheater, Jacey." I simply said and I heard him sigh.

"Believe what you want to believe but that doesn't mean I don't love you." I was confused by what he meant.

"I thought you were just playing with me since you don't show any emotions when I always call you even just in your words so I played along until you want to check out my account." that past event came back to my mind.

I was suddenly overwhelmed by him at that time so I decided to ask for his account so I could take a peek at it.

"I meant not to delete that so I know how you will react." he added.

"So you meant to do that then you had an opportunity to set it up for me?"

"Yes." he quickly said. I took a deep breath and facepalmed because I was frustrated with the mindset he had.

"Let's just not go profound to that problem. It's all a past. And I already promised that I wouldn't do that again. I just did that--"

"Yeah, okay okay. Stop. You're saying it all over again."

"Sorry." he apologized.

Then silenced.

I bite my lip while I wait for him to speak again.

"About the breakup..." he finally spoke.

"I'm sorry because I'm not trying to understand you when you're busy in school." he stopped but I didn't talk, expecting him to speak about the topic again.

"I know I was wrong. But please give us another chance. I can make sure that we can save this relationship again and become healthy." I am speechless because I'm still confused about what's the right thing to do.

"Uhm... Can you give me more time to think? My mind is still a little messed up and I can't think straightly due to the stress that the school gave me before moving up." I excused.

I lied. I just don't really know what to answer him because I didn't experience such a situation before in my past relationship.

"Oh, yeah. Of course. I can wait. But please don't block me or deactivate your account so I can still reach you out. I will just check on you then I will not continuously have a conversation with you so you can think deeply. I will not disturb you."

"Okay. Thank you."

"Welcome."

Silence again...

"You can end the call." he spoke.

"No, you end it."

"No. You end it." he fought back.

"Okay... Bye. I guess..."

"Bye... Take care." as I ended the call.

I flop down on my bed and stared at the ceiling.

What would be the consequences if I give him another chance? Will I be happy?

I don't recall anything fun that happened during our seven months in a relationship. Maybe because we had a serious problem when we were just one month.

I turned on my phone again and played a chill playlist so I can relax and think calmly.

He made an effort just to see me. But why only now when we broke up?

If I get back to him...

Will it be worth it?