webnovel

Creepy Pharmacist: All My Patients Are Horrific

[This world is steeped in mystique.] [Vampires, werewolves, technology, magical potions, ghosts, bioengineered beings, divination, and puppets; every terrifying element you could conceive of, exists in this world.] [One must carry a lantern when stepping outside.] [One must never wander far.] [Ten meters beyond the gates, darkness will consume you.] [Whether attending to humans, ghosts, or stitched monsters, one must maintain composure at all times.] [Should you ever lose your composure, it will give rise to malicious intent.] This is the translation of the Chinese novel "Creepy Pharmacist: All My Patients Are Horrific". It's a horror comedy with more comedy than horror. I hope you enjoy it.

Fish9527 · หนังสือและวรรณกรรม
เรตติ้งไม่พอ
94 Chs

Today, One of Us Must Die

Lynne rolled around, wrestling with his left hand. Chaos erupted throughout the room.

"Quit your grandstanding! You vile thing! Just because I'm attached to you doesn't mean I won't deal with you! (〝▼皿▼) You little wretch!"

Lynne forcefully pinned his left hand down, gritting his teeth, (艹皿艹) and taunted: "Come on then! Think I would be scared of a mere hand?!"

This was madness! Utter madness! A mere mutation dared to be so brazen! Today, no matter what, he would rid himself of it, even if it meant living without his left hand forever!

Without a second thought, Lynne used all his might and lunged (`皿′) toward a wall, forcefully slamming the rebellious left hand against it.

[Lynne's HP -1]

[??? HP -1]

"You dare hit me (〝▼皿▼)! Take this!"

In a flash, the left hand's tongue elongated several times its length, shooting straight for Lynne's face. Clearly, if struck by this terrifying tongue, even if not fatal, it would leave a gaping hole.

Just as the tongue was about to pierce through Lynne, he saw his chance and fiercely opened his mouth wide.

Snap!

Left hand: (ΩДΩ) "Ahhh!"

Lynne bit down hard on the extended tongue.

[??? HP -10]

In that fleeting moment, gritting his teeth, Lynne bolted into the neighboring operating room. Swiftly grabbing a cleaver, he brandished it menacingly, prepared to split his left hand in two.

"Die—Aaah (You)!"

Yet, in that critical moment, the left hand forcefully whipped its elongated tongue, flinging Lynne backward onto the ground. The cleaver crashed loudly onto the floor. But Lynne's resolve was steeled. Today, one of them would surely perish!

Without hesitation, Lynne (〝▼皿▼) swiftly picked up the fallen cleaver. In response, the defiant left hand, equally determined, (艹皿艹) grabbed a scalpel from the surgical table.

"Come on! Let's harm each other!"

Clang—

Clang—

The two blades clashed, sparking with a ferocity that echoed throughout. Lynne (〝▼皿▼) pressed on, asserting, "You're done for! Today, I'll chop you off, then preserve you in a bottle as a specimen!"

The left hand, undaunted, pressed back (#`皿′), retorting, "Give it a try! Try me, punk!"

Clang—

Clang—

In that moment, Lynne and his left hand swung at each other mercilessly, blades colliding with explosive intensity.

The battle raged from the operating room to the alchemy lab, then to the main hall, and finally to the backyard. The confrontation was so evenly matched, the atmosphere palpable!

[Ding! Your combat ability +1]

[Ding! Your combat ability +1]

[Ding! Your combat ability +1]

After clashing with his left hand for what felt like an eternity...

Clang—

Their blades met once more (〝▼皿▼), leading them into another tense standoff.

"I'll offer you one chance. Leave my body willingly now, and I'll spare your existence."

"(艹皿艹) Those words should be mine! Just obediently let me devour your brain, and I'll let you be!"

"It seems there's no room for negotiation?!"

"Who said anything about negotiating? I'll finish you off!"

Clang—

Clang—

Amidst the intense battle, the two blades met with such force that both were sent flying from their respective grips. With incredible agility, the left hand quickly seized the opportunity. Its gaping maw lunged forward, enveloping Lynne's head.

"I'll devour you!"

As the peril neared, Lynne acted on instinct. He thrust his right arm into the massive mouth, wedging it open between the upper and lower jaws, preventing the monstrous maw from snapping shut around his neck. For a moment, the battlefield was at a tense standstill.

"You—are—doomed!"

The left hand, with its fierce grip, overpowered Lynne, pinning him to the ground. But Lynne, using all his might, managed to wrestle his head free from the creature's maw.

Facing the ferocious mouth flailing before him, Lynne gritted his teeth.

"It's yet to be seen who's doomed!"

And in that desperate moment, Lynne caught sight of the remaining bottle of pesticide that he had concocted, neatly placed amongst other vials. It was as if dawn had broken through the darkness.

Yes! That must be the bottle left untouched before the blackout!

Seizing the opportunity, Lynne swiftly rolled over, clenching the pesticide bottle with his teeth. With one swift move, he pinned the monstrous left hand beneath him.

And in that split second, the left hand noticed the malicious grin that played on Lynne's face and the pesticide bottle clenched between his teeth.

Left hand: "Waaahhh (ΩДΩ)!!"

[Left hand's fear of you +10]

[Left hand's fear of you +10]

"You can't open the bottle! Don't fool yourself!" The left hand wriggled, trying to escape.

"Think so?" Lynne smirked. And under the watchful gaze of the left hand, Lynne activated Flesh Catastrophe. A tiny, miniature hand slowly sprouted from Lynne's cheek. And right in front of the horrified left hand...

Pop—

The tiny hand deftly removed the cork from the bottle.

Left hand: "Nooooo (ΩДΩ)!!!"

Immediately, amidst the left hand's high-pitched shrieks of terror, the contents of the pesticide bottle gushed into its gaping maw.

"I'll choke you! I'll choke you to death! (╬ ̄皿 ̄) Gagging! Gagging! o(≧口≦)o!!"

After about ten seconds.

Burp—

The left hand remained motionless, hiccuping continuously. Its mouth filled with a viscous, strange liquid—pungent and nearly impossible to swallow. It was... utterly saturated.

"..."

"..."

[Ding! You have acquired an abnormal state: Pesticide Poisoning (Mild)!]

[Warning! Warning! The pesticide you ingested has triggered a reaction with the residual toxins in your body. The poisoning is intensifying!]

[Ding!Your abnormal state: Pesticide Poisoning (Mild) has escalated to Pesticide Poisoning (Severe)!]

Lynne froze. A buzzing filled his ears. His face turned blank.

No! No! He had forgotten! If his own poisoning affected the mutated entity, then poisoning the mutated entity would surely affect him as well...

In an instant, gurgling sounds arose from his stomach. A wave of nausea surged from every capillary in his body. His complexion rapidly shifted—from pale to red, from red to purple, from purple to green.

Lynne (ヾノ꒪ཫ꒪)—

The left hand mumbled in a daze, "You... foolish host... Poisoning me... you too... also..."

Left hand (ヾノ꒪ཫ꒪)—

In an instant, Lynne whipped his head around and, with all his might, flung open the door to the cellar, hurling violently into its depths.

Ugh——

Ugh——

[Ding! Babe's Favorability towards you -10!]

[Ding! Babe's Favorability towards you -10!]

In an o(x﹏x)o state, his left hand struggled to clamber up. Trembling, it reached for a knife nearby, poised to strike Lynne.

"I'll kill you... Despicable creature... Daring to poison me with that dreadful pesticide... You must die..."

The left hand (ヾノ꒪ཫ꒪)——

At that very moment, the left hand could no longer contain itself. With a thud, it slumped beside Lynne, o(x﹏x)o, and retched into the cellar as well.

"Once I'm done throwing up, you're dead!"

Ugh——

[Ding! Babe's rage for you +10!]

[Ding! Babe's rage for you +10!]

...

After what felt like an agonizing ten minutes, Lynne drained of energy, leaned against the edge of the cellar. His entire body quivered as he gasped for air, his face ghostly pale.

Similarly, his left hand lay o(x﹏x)o beside the cellar entrance, its elongated tongue drooping out, clearly nauseated.

"Truce..." Lynne panted, "Give me a moment, and then I'll deal with you..."

"Agreed," the left hand responded, its voice o(x﹏x)o and weary, "I've lost my appetite for now, but I'll feast on you later..."

...

Bonus chapter's here!

Fish9527creators' thoughts