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Creepy Pharmacist: All My Patients Are Horrific

[This world is steeped in mystique.] [Vampires, werewolves, technology, magical potions, ghosts, bioengineered beings, divination, and puppets; every terrifying element you could conceive of, exists in this world.] [One must carry a lantern when stepping outside.] [One must never wander far.] [Ten meters beyond the gates, darkness will consume you.] [Whether attending to humans, ghosts, or stitched monsters, one must maintain composure at all times.] [Should you ever lose your composure, it will give rise to malicious intent.] This is the translation of the Chinese novel "Creepy Pharmacist: All My Patients Are Horrific". It's a horror comedy with more comedy than horror. I hope you enjoy it.

Fish9527 · หนังสือและวรรณกรรม
เรตติ้งไม่พอ
94 Chs

They're All Preserved in the Backyard

At last, Lynne exerted great force, managing to extricate his head from the gaping maw of his left hand. With his right hand firmly restraining the monstrous mouth of his left, he turned to see the sheepfolk's bleeding leg and urgently exclaimed, "Dear guest, even though I mentioned that bloodletting is a quick relief, you didn't need to be so hasty in slashing yourself! You came here for treatment, didn't you? Why the rush to such drastic measures?"

The sheepfolk, in utter shock (ΩДΩ), was rendered speechless.

Damn it... I didn't intend for this kind of relief! If you'd completed your sentence in one go, I wouldn't have stabbed myself!

He pointed frantically at his gushing wound, gesturing wildly (ΩДΩ),

Stop it! Staunch the flow!! It's gushing out!

[Sheepfolk's Sanity -10]

[Sheepfolk's Sanity -10]

"Have you had a change of heart? Decided that life is worth living? Seeing you reconsider is truly a relief to me," Lynne remarked gravely, swiftly positioning his foot and applying precise pressure to the creature's bleeding artery.

The flow of blood was abruptly halted. The sheepfolk slumped, his face drenched in sweat, dripping profusely.

"Can I opt for treatment elsewhere? Could you spare me just this once...? I swear, if I ever see you again, I'll take a detour... really..."

Tears of grievance spilled from his wide-open eyes.

[Desperation Level of the sheepfolk +10]

[Desperation Level of the sheepfolk +10]

With a hint of melancholy, Lynne replied, "I apologize for my shortcomings; I'm still a novice. I regret the unpleasant experiences you've endured. However, once you step out of this shop, you won't find another apothecary for hundreds of miles."

Shaking and teary-eyed, the sheepfolk responded, "There must be... there has to be..."

Lynne, seeming a bit apologetic, said, "Truly, there aren't any. There used to be some, but now they're all preserved... in the specimen room in the backyard."

He gestured toward the preserved specimens behind him.

...

At that moment, the sheepfolk's composure completely shattered, and he, a once-stoic being, broke down into inconsolable tears. He thought of his parents. Of the three years he'd roamed aimlessly. He thought of the two-year-old child mentioned in the letters he'd received, still awaiting nourishment. Now, he was about to meet his end in this sinister shop...

His cries became even more heart-wrenching.

"Don't cry," Lynne tried to console, "trust in me. I'm a doctor. I promise you'll walk out of here hale and hearty. Moreover, the poison from the 'Man-faced Vine' isn't particularly virulent. In a sense, it's a chronic poison that, when met with the correct antidote, can easily be counteracted."

Lynne, using his unique abilities, produced tentacles that rapidly sorted through an array of vials on the counter. Before the creature's eyes, he skillfully mixed several potions in precise proportions.

Once the preliminary concoction was ready, Lynne squinted, splitting one of his tentacles into multiple appendages, each holding a syringe. He observed the sharp needle and the liquid oozing from it with a hissing sound.

"I'll give you an injection now," he assured. "A few jabs, and while it might not be an instant cure, it'll definitely rejuvenate you. I'm going in."

The sheepfolk swiftly raised his hand, tremblingly saying, "Wait a moment!"

But it was too late.

"Ba-a-a-a!"

[Ding! The sheepfolk's terror level towards you +10]

[Ding! The sheepfolk's terror level towards you +10]

...

Several minutes later.

The sheepfolk sat listlessly in the chair, his body pierced with a dozen syringes of varying sizes. His injured leg was bandaged.

Lynne, with a playful tone, tied a neat bow on the creature's leg with his tentacles, "How do you feel? Isn't the effect remarkable? The remedy I provided was developed by my master specifically for the poison of the Man-faced Vine. Coming to the Bloodsaw Potion Shop was undoubtedly the right choice. Believe me, other places might not offer the effectiveness we have here."

The sheepfolk leaned back, feeling the waning weakness in his body. Indeed, it was strange. Despite the emotional distress of the numerous injections, the abnormal weakness and haziness in his body had significantly diminished. Even the peculiar scent emanating from him began to fade.

Could it be... that this wasn't a malevolent shop with ulterior motives, but rather a legitimate apothecary? Had he misunderstood all along?

The sheepfolk gazed blankly, uttering, "You're not planning to cure me just to slice me up later, are you?"

While restraining his predatory left hand, Lynne retorted with a hint of frustration, "Of course not! At Bloodsaw Potion Shop, we believe the customer is king. If you can pay, not only won't we harm you, but you could even slice me up if you wanted!"

[Ding! Your Soothing Experience +1]

[Ding! The sheepfolk feel considerably consoled. You're steadily becoming a trustworthy physician.]

Relief momentarily washed over the creature's face as he hesitated, "Uh... what if I can't pay?"

An eerie silence pervaded the apothecary. Even the insistent gnashing of Lynne's left hand ceased.

Lynne blinked in astonishment, raising his blade, "No money?"

The sheepfolk's fur bristled in sheer panic.

[Sheepfolk's Sanity -1]

[Sheepfolk's Sanity -1]

"Yes! I have! Lots of it!" In a frantic flurry, he produced bag after bag of skull coins from within his robes. His actions were so swift that they almost left an afterimage.

Lynne's face immediately warmed into a congenial smile, "You really gave me a scare! You shouldn't jest like that. I thought you intended to dine and dash. I even contemplated which part of you to claim as payment. My heart nearly leaped out of my chest! Hahaha!"

The sheepfolk responded with uncertainty, "Is... is that so?... Ha... Hahaha..."

[Ding! Sheepfolk's blood pressure +1]

[Ding! Sheepfolk's blood pressure +1]

Swiftly changing the topic and wiping sweat from his brow, he remarked, "Anyway, I must admit, the effects of your remedy are quite impressive. In just a few minutes, I've felt significantly better!"

Lynne, engrossed in counting his money, grinned smugly, "Of course. My master once cultivated this poison on a massive scale. Naturally, he acquired invaluable knowledge regarding its antidote. It's safe to say that only our shop possesses the antidote for the Man-faced Vine's poison."

"Oh... I see..." the sheepfolk mumbled, wiping more sweat away, "It sounds troublesome for any creature from other regions if they were poisoned by this."

Lynne assured with a sly grin, "Rest assured, apart from here, this poison doesn't exist anywhere else."

The sheepfolk remained frozen in place, a perplexing thought nagging at him. Somehow, he sensed an underlying connection between the two statements.