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Creepy Pharmacist: All My Patients Are Horrific

[This world is steeped in mystique.] [Vampires, werewolves, technology, magical potions, ghosts, bioengineered beings, divination, and puppets; every terrifying element you could conceive of, exists in this world.] [One must carry a lantern when stepping outside.] [One must never wander far.] [Ten meters beyond the gates, darkness will consume you.] [Whether attending to humans, ghosts, or stitched monsters, one must maintain composure at all times.] [Should you ever lose your composure, it will give rise to malicious intent.] This is the translation of the Chinese novel "Creepy Pharmacist: All My Patients Are Horrific". It's a horror comedy with more comedy than horror. I hope you enjoy it.

Fish9527 · หนังสือและวรรณกรรม
เรตติ้งไม่พอ
94 Chs

The Customer Scarer

In an instant.

(ΩДΩ)!!

Her long hair instantly rose in fright. Behind the curtain, a boy covered in blood, holding a chainsaw (◣_◢), was seen straddling the demon hunter, using the chainsaw to buzz against his shoulder.

Sparks flew, and bone dust scattered.

Seeing the customer outside the curtain, Lynne instantly lifted his head, his facial expression seamlessly switched to a professional smile, showing his clean (and somewhat eerie) teeth, saying:

"Welcome, we have plenty of potions, please come in and wait a moment. After I deal with this customer, I will get them for you, it won't take long, hehehehe——"

Lynne let out a friendly laugh.

[Long-haired Ghost's Fear of You +30]

[Long-haired Ghost's Fear of You +40]

"Ah——Ah——"

The long-haired ghost held her head, letting out (ΩДΩ) terrified long howls. Under Lynne's stunned gaze, the long-haired female ghost, leaving her foot behind, screamed and limped into the black fog, holding her head.

[Ding! Your fame in Wandering Soul Lane +1]

[Ding! Your fame in Wandering Soul Lane +1]

[Ding! You have successfully scared a customer into psychological trauma, the character trait of the long-haired ghost [Lively] has successfully turned into [Timid], and you have achieved: The Customer Scarer!]

[The Customer Scarer: Due to being overly cruel and frequently causing customers to experience excessive horror, the apprentice of the Bloodsaw potion shop is on a road of no return... You have acquired a permanent bonus: Customers' fear of you permanently +1, the pain you cause +1]

Lynne was stunned. Countless "???" floated above his head. How did I become The Customer Scarer?! I have always adhered to the principle of putting customers first, treating people with sincerity, and providing service with a smile! This darn system, you can't just give me weird achievements!

"Trying to escape?!"

Lynne (╬ ̄皿 ̄) pressed down the crawling demon hunter and went at him with the chainsaw.

"Never mind, let's cure this patient first!"

Buzzzzzz——

"God! God!!"

Finally, several minutes later.

With utmost satisfaction, Lynne discarded the chainsaw, a smile adorning his features as he beheld the polished, pristine bone before him, and gently blowing on it, he spoke: "Dear guest, it is complete! The toxins that have corroded the surface of the bone have all been thoroughly purged by me. Now, all that's needed is a further regeneration of flesh and blood, and your arm shall be restored to its former glory!"

Lynne wiped the sweat from his forehead, a genuine, glorious smile unveiled on his face, a smile that followed sincere toil.

"Dear guest, are you satisfied with it? Guest?"

Perplexed, Lynne turned his head.

Immediately he saw the demon hunter's body convulsing non-stop, (꒪Д꒪) visible on his face, countless white bubbles were churning in his mouth, and his eyes were rolled back so far that they were nearly unseen.

"Guest! Dear guest!!"

Over half an hour later.

[Ding! Through unconventional means, you've incapacitated a legendary demon hunter, earning the achievement reward: Harbinger of Pain!]

[Harbinger of Pain: Achievement Title, permanently increases the pain inflicted by the host using various tools by +5%]

Lynne stood there, listening dumbfounded to the absurd system prompt resounding in his mind. And on the operating table before him, the demon hunter finally started regaining consciousness from his mumblings.

"Are you awake?"

The moment he opened his eyes, reflected in them was Lynne's professional smile.

Propping himself up—

Almost reflexively, the demon hunter jumped up from the operating table in terror and fired several shots in Lynne's direction.

"Stay away! Stay away from me!"

[Demon Hunter's Sanity -10]

[Demon Hunter's Sanity -5]

[Demon Hunter's Sanity -1]

He was trembling, holding a revolver, still in shock. Meanwhile, Lynne, eyes wide, was pressed against the wall, his form distinctly outlined. A series of bullets had traced around him with uncanny precision, carving an immaculate silhouette.

"Keep calm! Honored guest, please keep calm! Forget those unpleasant memories. Rest assured, I've already healed your wounds!"

With outstretched hands, Lynne spoke authoritatively. He subtly pushed the chainsaw at his feet aside with his foot, preventing the guest from associating it with some less than pleasant memories.

The demon hunter was panting, struggling to calm his own emotions. Then, he turned his head to look at his shoulder. Wrapped in thick bandages, his shoulder, albeit still a bit stiff when moving, no longer bore the empty feeling of flesh scraped away, nor did it have the tearing sensation brought by the black butterfly's poison. It was as if that horrifying experience had been a dream.

The demon hunter, astonished, asked, "So soon?"

Lynne seriously replied, "It's mostly healed. After removing the poisoned, damaged muscle tissue and superficial bone fragments from your shoulder, the remaining issue was helped to rapidly regenerate your flesh."

Lynne held an empty potion bottle in his hand.

"I used the best flesh-regenerating potion we have, plus, your physique is extraordinary, and robust, so most of the missing flesh has already grown back. Only a small part in the center, which was too far from the surrounding flesh, was filled with a bit of other meat, but don't worry, I've eliminated any rejection!"

The demon hunter froze. He hastily unwrapped the bandage on his shoulder. His shoulder indeed seemed to have fully recovered, even looking somewhat tender, and at the center of the wound, one could vaguely see some flesh with a different color from the surrounding skin. Pale and delicate, a strand of hair was standing upright on it.

[Pork!]

The demon hunter instantly flew into a rage, and grabbed Lynne by the collar, glaring, his teeth grinding.

Lynne quickly raised both hands, signaling his innocence.

"Guest, the process might have been a bit unpleasant, but the result is quite perfect, isn't it?"

Lynne blinked. His will to survive at its peak.

"And I assure you, if there are any relapses in the future, you can come to me anytime for a second service, absolutely satisfying!"

The demon hunter trembled, "Second service?! You still want to provide me a second service?!"

[Demon Hunter's mood is extremely unstable.]

[Crisis increased to 30%]

[Crisis increased to 50%]

[Crisis increased to 99%]

"Guest!" Lynne solemnly said, "I am a doctor, and while there were some minor hiccups during the treatment, think about it! Compared to dying from the black butterfly's poison spreading and rotting the whole body, what's a little pain from bone scraping? Staying alive is more important than anything!"

[Soothing Experience +1]

[Soothing Experience +1]

[Ding! Target's Crisis Level Decreasing…]

Finally, under Lynne's cascade of noxious consolation, the demon hunter reluctantly let go of Lynne's collar, gritting his teeth.

The demon hunter took a deep breath, let Lynne go, and said through clenched teeth: "Indeed worthy of being my kind, being able to survive in this Dark World, truly capable! This tormenting technique is indeed top-notch!"

Lynne rubbed the back of his head, smiling sheepishly, "You flatter me! You flatter me!"

"Do you think I'm praising you?!"

The demon hunter once again grabbed Lynne by the collar, his eyes filled with rage, his teeth grinding, "Have you ever performed surgery on anyone before?"

Lynne quickly shook his head, raising three fingers earnestly, "I swear I have. I just performed a cesarean section! Both father and child are safe! They even gave me a like!"