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Creepy Pharmacist: All My Patients Are Horrific

[This world is steeped in mystique.] [Vampires, werewolves, technology, magical potions, ghosts, bioengineered beings, divination, and puppets; every terrifying element you could conceive of, exists in this world.] [One must carry a lantern when stepping outside.] [One must never wander far.] [Ten meters beyond the gates, darkness will consume you.] [Whether attending to humans, ghosts, or stitched monsters, one must maintain composure at all times.] [Should you ever lose your composure, it will give rise to malicious intent.] This is the translation of the Chinese novel "Creepy Pharmacist: All My Patients Are Horrific". It's a horror comedy with more comedy than horror. I hope you enjoy it.

Fish9527 · หนังสือและวรรณกรรม
เรตติ้งไม่พอ
94 Chs

Move Again, and I'll Blast You with One Shot

The demon hunter (ヾノ꒪ཫ꒪) was suddenly jolted awake from his swoon, his senses brutally assaulted by the explosive impact of the strong liquor and alcohol combination. Trembling and shivering, he extended his hand and ceaselessly crawled forward, saying, "Enough! Enough! Let me go! Let me go right now!"

Lynne was earnestly sharpening his knife, his voice lighthearted, "Leave? My dear guest, you jest. We've just completed the debridement and disinfection; our most crucial step is yet to come. Quick, take a look! During your faint, to help ease your tension a bit, I specially crafted a pattern for you. Take a look, isn't it quite nice?"

The demon hunter turned his head in horror and trembled as he looked at the wound on his shoulder.

(ΩДΩ)!!

[Demon Hunter's Sanity -20]

In an instant, the demon hunter was completely undone. On his shoulder, over the black bones, a chic "❤" was discernibly carved, looking rather darn cute!

"Did you feel a bit more relaxed?" Lynne asked seriously.

The demon hunter (ΩДΩ) said, "I'll (beep) you up! I'll (beep) kill you!"

The demon hunter, shivering, quickly drew a revolver from his waistband and aimed it at Lynne.

Swish——

Lynne's flying knife instantly pierced the barrel of the demon hunter's revolver as he spoke softly, "Dear guest, the surgery isn't finished. Killing me now would be the utmost irresponsibility to yourself. I am saving you, yet you want to kill me. Don't you find such behavior utterly disgraceful? Let me make it clear; I have medical ethics. Even if you want to kill me, you have to wait until I complete the surgery! I will absolutely not allow my patient to quit halfway!"

Lynne supported his monocle with the back of his hand, his face serious, the lens reflecting a flash of light.

The demon hunter shivered.

Bang Bang Bang——

He fired a dozen shots at the ceiling.

"I warn you, don't carve any more patterns, don't dawdle. What is next?!"

Lynne raised the small knife in his hand and said seriously, "Bone scraping!"

Minutes later.

The Demon Hunter, shivering, looked at the chains that Lynne had procured from who knows where, chains that were now binding him from head to toe, making him resemble a large, tightly wrapped dumpling.

"Why bind me while you scrape?! Do you really think these ordinary chains can restrain a Demon Hunter?! You are too naive!"

Lynne, his face stern, adjusted his glasses and spoke: "Guest. It's not that I wish to bind you, I simply fear that during the procedure, unable to bear the pain, you might lash out. My death would be insignificant, but if the surgery were to fail, it would be the greatest insult to me, and the utmost irresponsibility to yourself. Therefore, reluctantly, I have no choice but to resort to this."

Lynne moved behind him, raising his small knife with grave seriousness.

"Guest, I am about to scrape! You must endure! This time, the pain will be quite literally bone-piercing."

"Just a moment, let me prepare..."

Creak creak creak creak creak creak——

"Ahhh——"

The demon hunter, his mouth agape with terror, let out a long and eerie howl that could chill one to the bone. If the earlier wound cleaning felt like being minced, then this bone-scraping was damnably like enduring hundreds of continuous uppercuts to one's vitals!

"(Beep)! You!! Fack yew!!"

The demon hunter roared, struggling fiercely, the chains on his body about to be shattered by him.

[Demon Hunter's fear of you +10]

[Demon Hunter's fear of you +10]

"Stop! Stop! It hurts! It hurts!"

The demon hunter howled in horror, finally completely unable to restrain himself.

Lynne, too, was gritting his teeth, struggling to control his thrashing, as he took his knife and meticulously scraped at the pitch-black bone.

"Endure a little! A real man never fears pain! It's said that a short pain is better than a long one, just grit your teeth and it will pass!"

Creak creak creak creak creak creak——

[Knife Skill +2]

[Knife Skill +2]

The demon hunter, with a howl that reached the heavens, shivered as he bit down on the chains sparks flying everywhere.

"Anesthetic… Anesthetic!! Administer it now!! I can't take it anymore! I just can't!"

Lynne, scraping (╬ ̄皿 ̄), said: "Administering anesthetic now is pointless. I can't possibly inject it directly into your bone! Just endure a little longer, it'll be over soon!"

[Knife Skill +2]

"I'm not buying your bullshit!!"

The demon hunter roared, instantly breaking the chains around him, and reached for his revolver on the counter. He wanted to blow Lynne away with one shot!

Seeing his actions, Lynne grew frantic.

Damn! I'm painstakingly scraping your bone to heal you, and you're repeatedly trying to blow me away! It's simply outrageous! Absolutely outrageous!

(╯‵皿′)╯︵┻━┻

Swoosh——

Lynne, acting first, seized his revolver and shoved it into his mouth, furiously stating: "Move one more time and see what happens!! If you don't cooperate with my work, I'll blow your head off! Let me tell you! I am a doctor! You can insult my dignity, but you can't insult my compassion for the injured! Today, even if it kills me, I must heal you!"

Lynne roared.

The demon hunter, his mouth encompassing the barrel, howled to the heavens, tears streaming down his face.

I can't do this anymore! I really don't want to do this anymore!

Having roamed the Dark World for years, enduring countless injuries, this was the first time he felt what it's like to be at a loss for life, what it's like to prefer death over life, at the hands of a doctor!

It hurts! This person is forcibly scraping it!

"Damn it (╬ ̄皿 ̄), no more dawdling with you, time to bring out the big guns!"

Lynne quickly rushed to the backyard. Then swiftly, holding a chainsaw, he rushed back out, teeth clenched.

The demon hunter (ΩДΩ)!!

[Sanity -10]

[Sanity -10]

"What are you doing?! What the hell are you doing?! Don't come any closer!"

The demon hunter retreated in terror.

Lynne (╬ ̄皿 ̄) pulled the chainsaw's starter rope, and the chainsaw instantly emitted a buzzing sound.

"Your bones are too hard; scraping would take hours. With that spare time, might as well get it done in one go! Using this big guy on you is absolutely a case of a short pain being better than a long one! I'm going in!"

"Wait (ΩДΩ)!!"

Buzzzzzz——

Instantly, shrill and horrified screams pierced the sky.

[Demon Hunter's Sanity -20]

[Demon Hunter's Sanity -20]

"Boss, I want to buy some recovery potions. Do you have any new stock?"

Outside the door, a long-haired female ghost (* ̄︶ ̄) floated sideways, her body light, clearly not the unpleasant type of customer. But just as she reached the door.

Thwap——

A hand instantly seized her ankle. Her expression froze instantly. Then she saw beneath the curtain a demon hunter, pale-faced and with trembling lips, clinging to the door threshold, his other hand clutching her ankle, tremblingly saying: "Save me… Save me!!"

Then, immediately, she heard the buzzing sound of a chainsaw from behind the curtain. She, stunned and trembling, extended a pale hand and gently lifted a corner of the curtain.