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Creepy Pharmacist: All My Patients Are Horrific

[This world is steeped in mystique.] [Vampires, werewolves, technology, magical potions, ghosts, bioengineered beings, divination, and puppets; every terrifying element you could conceive of, exists in this world.] [One must carry a lantern when stepping outside.] [One must never wander far.] [Ten meters beyond the gates, darkness will consume you.] [Whether attending to humans, ghosts, or stitched monsters, one must maintain composure at all times.] [Should you ever lose your composure, it will give rise to malicious intent.] This is the translation of the Chinese novel "Creepy Pharmacist: All My Patients Are Horrific". It's a horror comedy with more comedy than horror. I hope you enjoy it.

Fish9527 · หนังสือและวรรณกรรม
เรตติ้งไม่พอ
94 Chs

Let's Do This, All In

Moments later, Lynne, burdened with heaps of flesh and draped only in a bedsheet, rushed back to his apothecary shop. The main hall was a scene of devastation. After the battle from the previous day, it was an utter mess.

Without wasting a moment, Lynne quickly retrieved a soul lamp, lit it, and hung it by the doorpost before dashing into the backyard. The attic and front room were damaged beyond recognition. Yet, most of the backyard remained relatively intact.

The cellar door was ajar. Clearly, Babe had returned. But Lynne had no time for him at the moment. The urgency of his situation consumed him.

"Stay calm. Think it through," he muttered. Gathering his wits, his mind raced. "If there's a mutation within my body, surely the master must have some rare books about it..."

Without hesitation, Lynne darted to the basement. With a swift kick, he flung open the door and bolted towards his master's book vault. Ordinarily, his master would never allow him in there. But the situation was dire. He needed to find out about his body's potential mutation, and fast.

Inside the book vault, under the dim glow of a candle, Lynne, wearing a monocle, perused through a vast collection of books with fervent concentration.

"Radiation-Induced Malignant Cell Mutations"

"A Hundred Bizarre Curses Leading to Body Distortions"

"Novel: The Mutated Loli and Her Indescribable Tales with Tentacles"

"Guide: 35 Practical Methods to Tame an Evil Spirit Girl"

Lynne meticulously went through the books, salvaging them from every hidden corner, and skimmed through their contents. He read intently for over an hour.

With a soft thud, Lynne solemnly closed the book.

"Let's try the hundred methods one by one. If none works, I'll have to take a risk!"

After deep contemplation, Lynne deduced the following:

Firstly, the malignant mutation inside his body was currently dormant, or due to some peculiar reasons, it couldn't immediately awaken and finish him off. The logic was simple. If the mutation could have been revived at once, the system wouldn't have given him a half-day timed task.

Secondly, it was uncontrollable and might possess its own will.

Thirdly, the entity that hollowed out that monster should be the mutant inside him. It possessed formidable destructive power. He certainly wouldn't stand a chance against it.

Fourthly, the system provided additional assistance.

With a composed expression, Lynne promptly accessed his skill list.

[Infectious Aura] [Curse Diagnosis] [Function: Flesh Catastrophe]

Lynne's pupils constricted instantly. Yes! It was the skill he had acquired upon completing the 'Blood Night' mission.

[Function: Flesh Catastrophe]

[Quality: Unique]

[Description: A capability obtained through rigorous flesh restructuring and intense mutation. It allows the host to freely manipulate their flesh for reorganization and proliferation. The power's limit depends on the host's physique points.]

"Flesh manipulation?"

Lynne gazed deeply at his hands. It appeared that the desperate struggle against that creature last night inadvertently blessed him with a novel special ability. Regardless, he had to test its effect!

Lynne immediately closed his eyes, concentrating his will on a particular part of his body. A faint hum resonated.

In an instant, Lynne's pupils dilated dramatically. He felt it... He perceived the wondrous transformation!

Indeed! This power genuinely enabled him to reconstruct the flesh of his body at will.

"Holy shit~~ It's indeed bigger, more defined, and firmer(๑>︶<)و! This skill is freaking awesome! Absolutely invincible!"

No!

Lynne quickly composed himself. Now wasn't the time for weird distractions, nor for pondering peculiar applications of the skill. What mattered most was identifying the mutation within him. More importantly, it wasn't just about identifying; he had to figure out how to restrain it.

Besides, if he believed that the creature from last night was consumed by the mutation, where did all that mass of flesh go? His slender physique couldn't possibly accommodate so much flesh! Moreover, he felt it distinctly. His weight hadn't altered unusually.

"Let's assume the flesh remains within me and hasn't been metabolized, merely unnoticeable due to the mutation's unique existence," Lynne mused. "Also, since the mutant is still in my body, any abnormalities in me should affect it, since we now share a single physical form... If that's the case..."

Lynne narrowed his eyes, a dangerous glint emerging. Silently, he turned to gaze at a bottle in the corner. Faintly, one could discern the word "Pesticide" scribbled on it.

A strange silence enveloped the surroundings.

...

"Go! For! It!!"

In the next moment, Lynne, with sheer determination (艹皿艹), grabbed the pesticide bottle, yanked off the cap, and began chugging its contents!

This potion was a result of the years spent studying alchemy under his master, combined with memories from his past life, culminating in the ultimate insect repellent.

Consuming it would unquestionably induce extreme diarrhea, nausea, vomiting, and an array of side effects – a rollercoaster between life and death.

But a true man! Never fears pesticide!

[Warning! Host life loss detected, acquired abnormal buff: Pesticide Poisoning]

Lynne, seizing the brief window while he still could move, dashed into the alchemy room. He rummaged through shelves and cabinets, gathering all the expired potions he had hoarded and not yet fed to Babe.

Narrowing his eyes, Lynne snapped open a bottle. Instantly, tendrils of smoke shaped like skulls wafted from the bottle. The effects of these months-old expired concoctions remained a mystery even to him.

Yet...

"Go for it!"

Gritting his teeth, Lynne tilted his head back, guzzling one potion after another.

[Warning! Host acquired abnormal buff: Severe Itching]

[Warning! Host acquired abnormal buff: Serious Skin Rashes]

[Warning! Host acquired abnormal buff: Viral Spread]

The system's alarms kept ringing in his ears. Lynne's reasoning was straightforward. If the mutation was integrated with him and, presuming it had its own consciousness, he could surely use this life-threatening approach to lure it out. Now, it would be a test of whose will was stronger!

Without further ado, Lynne swiftly fetched a heap of ingredients from the storage, fervently flipping through his master's alchemy book. With a determined look (艹皿艹), he began tossing various components into the cauldron as he referenced the tome.

Bubbles gurgled. In the roaring flame, the alchemical cauldron soon foamed in a medley of colors.

Lynne's sinister smile, his eyes gleaming with a touch of madness, stared intently at the bubbling potion. The kaleidoscopic luminescence cast eerie shadows across his face, making him appear all the more terrifying.

[Ding! You have concocted a Deadly Plague Potion x1]

[Ding! You have concocted a Severe Weakness Potion x1]

[Ding! You have concocted a Malignant Virus Potion x1]

[Your Alchemy Experience +1]

[Your Alchemy Experience +1]

...