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Creepy Pharmacist: All My Patients Are Horrific

[This world is steeped in mystique.] [Vampires, werewolves, technology, magical potions, ghosts, bioengineered beings, divination, and puppets; every terrifying element you could conceive of, exists in this world.] [One must carry a lantern when stepping outside.] [One must never wander far.] [Ten meters beyond the gates, darkness will consume you.] [Whether attending to humans, ghosts, or stitched monsters, one must maintain composure at all times.] [Should you ever lose your composure, it will give rise to malicious intent.] This is the translation of the Chinese novel "Creepy Pharmacist: All My Patients Are Horrific". It's a horror comedy with more comedy than horror. I hope you enjoy it.

Fish9527 · หนังสือและวรรณกรรม
เรตติ้งไม่พอ
94 Chs

I've Got Backup

The Blood-clad Evil Spirit sneered, sharp barbs rapidly growing from her tentacles as she icily remarked, "Oh?"

Maintaining his composure, Lynne stated, "Firstly, I'm a compassionate doctor. Likewise, I have many compassionate patients and clients. If I were to disappear, they'd miss me, and they'd be devastated. For instance, those two bald men currently fighting tooth and nail outside the alley. They're my loyal customers and dear friends."

Narrowing her eyes, the Blood-clad Evil Spirit sarcastically retorted, "Is that so? You're referring to that demon hunter and the Black Knight? You expect me to believe you..."

Before she could finish her sentence,

Click—

The distinct sound of a safety mechanism being disengaged. Lynne leisurely drew a silver revolver from his coat, aiming it at the ceiling with a smile, "You recognize this gun, don't you?"

The Blood-clad Evil Spirit was taken aback. Her eyes narrowed further as she said, "The demon hunter's revolver?!"

She was very familiar with that ostentatious demon hunter. He never parted with those twin revolvers he had brought from the upper world and cherished them greatly. How did this gun end up in Lynne's hands?

Lynne held up the revolver with a grin, "He's of my kindred, a relative who is quite fond of me. This gun was left for my protection. If I'm in danger, a single shot, and he'll immediately come to my aid. And right now, he's just outside in the alley. It won't take him long to rush over."

Achoo—

Outside in the alley, a certain bald individual sneezed vehemently.

The Blood-clad Evil Spirit narrowed her eyes, a malicious glint flashing within them.

Lynne, with a smile, tucked away the gun and then extracted a thin, curly strand of hair from his pocket.

"What's that?" the Blood-clad Evil Spirit coldly inquired.

With a hint of amusement, Lynne replied, "It's a token given to me by my Black Knight uncle. A chest hair from him, specifically, the longest and curliest one! My uncle Black Knight told me that with a gentle flick, he'd sense it and come to my aid. If you don't believe me, we can give it a try."

The Blood-clad Evil Spirit's face went blank, "Chest...hair?"

Adjusting his monocle, Lynne calmly chuckled, "Exactly. I believe you can sense its aura. Today, my uncle came for a haircut and left this strand with me. He mentioned I looked as if I was headed for trouble, and it seems he was right."

For a moment, the Blood-clad Evil Spirit was at a loss for words.

Lynne, smirking, added, "And if you know him, you'd know just how much he values his looks. Imagine someone giving him a bald cut; he'd surely kill them, wouldn't he? Why do you think I'm unharmed? Can't you see the close bond between us?"

...

Achoo—

Outside the alley, another bald individual sneezed, looking utterly baffled.

...

The Blood-clad Evil Spirit's face contorted with shock. Uncertainty filled her eyes, a whirlwind of thoughts consuming her. What he said made sense. She had clashed with that lunatic Black Knight before, and just like the demon hunter, he was equally flashy. Such a vain man would never let someone shave his head without retaliation. Then, it struck her. She remembered the unkempt, long hair that the young man had given to the scavenger not too long ago.

Could it be...

The Blood-clad Evil Spirit grew wary. Indeed, this young human running a shop in a world brimming with monsters had connections. No wonder he was so audacious.

But then...

"Wrong!" Her gaze turned dark, asserting, "Don't deceive me! Don't think I'm unaware that those two have been archenemies for centuries. If they both held such special ties with you, why on earth would they battle to the death each time they met?"

Lynne's lips curled up slightly, retorting, "Madam, are you truly so blind? Can you not discern..." Narrowing his eyes and leaning in, Lynne whispered, "They have a love-hate relationship."

...

Achoo—

Achoo—

Outside the alley, both the demon hunter and the Black Knight sneezed simultaneously.

Instantly, the demon hunter pointed a finger at the Black Knight, fuming, "I knew there was a reason I sneezed! It must be you badmouthing me in your thoughts. You're done for!"

The Black Knight clenched his teeth, his eyes aflame as he retorted, "Stop your nonsensical babbling! Clearly, you're the one casting aspersions on me in your mind! Today, I'll make sure you suffer!"

Immediately, the two bald men, with faces contorted in fury (〝▼皿▼), began fighting once more.

...

Inside the room.

The Blood-clad Evil Spirit's brows furrowed deeply, her gaze locked onto Lynne. For a moment, she hesitated, unsure of her next move. Though she felt he spoke nothing but falsehoods, that strand of chest hair and the revolver held enough weight to suggest a unique bond between him and those two.

Lynne smiled slightly, resting his chin on his hand, exuding an air of calm and poise, "Setting aside those two, there's also my master. Ask anyone and they'll tell you he's a ???-tier entity in Wandering Soul Lane. He's chainsawed countless individuals. As his sole disciple and successor, do you think my master would let his prized student perish?"

He stretched his neck, loosened his collar, and shrugged, ╮(╯▽╰)╭ stating, "Moreover, that old lady of Wandering Soul Lane is extremely fond of me, treating me as her own grandson. I still need to take care of her in her old age. Imagine her heartbreak if her clever and dutiful grandson met an untimely death~~"

[Eloquence +1]

[Eloquence +1]

[Eloquence +1]

The Blood-clad Evil Spirit gritted her teeth, watching Lynne, who seemed to grow more confident with every word. For some inexplicable reason, she felt a powerful urge to throttle him right then and there.

"By the way," Lynne shifted his tone, smiling slightly as he pulled out a piece of crystalline, gemstone-like substance from his pocket, "What does this look like to you?"

Her gaze immediately fell upon the small, white object in his hand that resembled a shard of a tooth. Her complexion changed instantly, sensing an indescribable aura emanating from it.

"This... what is this?"

The corner of Lynne's mouth curled slightly, "Unfortunately for you, madam, you should be well-acquainted with the infamous Abyssal Headhunters, shouldn't you?"

The Blood-clad Evil Spirit was taken aback, involuntarily stepping backward. Her eyes remained fixed on Lynne.

Abyssal Headhunters!

Being a creature of the Dark World, she knew all too well. They were terrifying Origin-level entities, known to wander the various realms of the Dark World, devouring countless souls and consuming the flesh of their victims wherever it went. Even the Dark World's King-level monster wouldn't dare confront such a being!

And, quite unluckily for her, the previous day saw several dark creature habitats near Wandering Soul Lane completely decimated by these headhunters. She had narrowly escaped from the jaws of one of them just the night before.

Could it be...

Adjusting his monocle with a smile, Lynne insinuated, "It seems you're aware. So, why don't you take a guess? With so many souls perishing around Wandering Soul Lane, how did the Lane itself remain untouched?"