19. Something New

Back home with his car on the empty road. Struggle with his anxiety and emptiness. After spending the day with a person that makes his day a little bit brighter. He realizes that he should back to his routine and pursued the deadline from his job.

It's almost a week since he writes a new story, and right now he hasn't developed a new idea. It's just one word that he has written on his laptop, "Hollow". It represents his mind and his heart.

James sits on the lonely seats, looked on the edge of the streets. He hasn't checked the email but he has a feeling that Ed looking for him. He doesn't have enough money to fulfill his needs in the next month. The deadline is one week from now and he doesn't have a new idea yet.

He arrived at his apartment after some lonely drive. It just takes 30 minutes from Diana's place but James feels it a long drive. He grabbed a can of beer and opens his laptop, and there it is. Ed sent him a lot of emails.

Ed wants to check his condition and makes sure James has progressed. James took a deep breath and tries to think about how to maintain his job.

'James what's up? I texted you but there's no reply so I decided to send you an email,' James read the email with his fucked up head.

'Listen, you should bring your job next week. I don't mean to push you, it's been difficult for you but if you want to survive you must be done it. Bring me a story and it'll be fine.'

He stood and walked toward the window, open the curtain and look at the city. He watched all over the place, 'What story should I write? Nothing's interesting in this city. Should I write about my condition?' James hesitated to write the story that he has never done it before. He isn't comfortable writing about his condition and he thought that his problem is not a big deal.

Pick his laptop then walk to the balcony, light up the cigar, and start writing again. He watched action videos and trying to make something out of them. It's been 3 hours since he wrote but it doesn't make anything.

James leaned back his shoulder and hit another can of beer. 'I can't write anymore, what's this? Is this the end? There's must be something that I could do. I know there's some detail that I can develop.' He closes his eyes, tried to feel the imagination, and hope an idea pop up in his head. But, all he can feels just the coldness of the wind and the sound of the lonely road in front of his apartment.

It's cold and he feels it froze his brain, he can't work it out. James closes his eyes and fell asleep on the outside, maybe it cold but it suits him. It froze just like his brains, he can't feel an idea anymore.

Wake up around 7 a.m. he can feel the sunshine through his skin, some warm and new feelings that he's not known before. After several hours slept outside, he knows that warmness doesn't suit him. It's been a while since James feels the warm and soft feel. All he felt recently is nothing but hollow and empty life.

Stretch his arm and checked his phone. James doesn't feel good about today, he doesn't know what should he do. He doesn't have any purpose, he starts to wonder what should he do.

Stood and change his outfit into casual shirts and bring his bag, tried to walks through the city. He wants to find a new atmosphere. All he can see is people laugh and enjoy their job or routine. He starts to wonder what's the purpose of life. 'People look so happy, they put a smile every day. So why am I here? Why I can't put on a smile like anyone else, why am I living? What should I do in this life?'

He walked till long enough and end up in the coffee shop, it's far away from his apartment. It's near the college and it's very crowded. James never went to college, so this is strange for him. It's been a while since he caught in the middle of the crowded.

He sat on the counter, and order black coffee. Some of the people staring at him, he knew it. He doesn't want to get more attention and he just keeps his head down. 'Ah fuck, what am I doing here. This place didn't suit me. Mind your own business college people!'

James wants to go outside before everything gets worse, but right before he wants to step outside, some people go surround him. They too many people and he doesn't know how to react to this situation.

"Are you new here? I've never seen a guy like you before," A blonde guy asked.

"Yeah, actually I'm not a student," James said it nervous.

"Huh! What do you mean you're not from here? You bring a bag and you look like our age," The other guy yelled at him.

"Yeah, I worked around here and this bag is for my job." James is confused, he doesn't understand why they're surrounding him.

"Ahh, is that so? Let me checked your bag," They tried to steal his bag. He knew that they wanted to bully him.

Right before they wanted to steal his bag, James heard some women scream at those guys.

"Stop you asshole! Leave him alone, why you guys always get into trouble for fuck sake?" This girl just slapped one of the blonde guys. "When you'll grow up? You stopped or I'll never invite you to the party anymore!"

They argued for a second, but the guys were just nodding along and they apologized to her. James can't control himself when a lot of people staring at them. It differs from his routine, it's very different from his world. James can be cool when he's getting high. But confront in the middle of college people is strange to him. It's a very different situation when he helped Daniela. He never knows how hard life's in the college world.

"Are you okay?" this woman smiled at him.

"I'm fine," James still confused. "Thank you, by the way."

"Ahaha, that's fine. I'll send them to college. C'mon follow me, we can't talks here. Too many peoples staring at you right now."

He looks around and they're a lot of eyes glued at him. He feels like in the middle of the show, he feels likes he's in the middle of the unknown world. Everyone wondered how loser he is, and this is something new for him. He steps into the jungle, into the wild society.