Slippery hands

"Tch, not good enough."

I was staring at my bare body while flexing my non-existent muscles in front of the mirror, it was closer to bending a straw than flexing.

"Those guys were jacked from day one, how the hell am I supposed to compete?"

Every preset had characters in near-perfect physical condition, everything from their muscle definition to their facial symmetry looked as if it were sculpted by the now-dead gods, my face wasn't all that bad but my physique wasn't even close.

It'll be a hassle but creating the most athletic body possible is a must for my future endeavours, trying to fight enemies looking like a bundle of twigs won't cut it, maybe my enemies could laugh themselves to death? Wouldn't count on it.

Sadly, I know next to nothing about diet, nutrition, exercise, or creating a better physique for myself.

The library jumped up a few notches on my list of places to visit first.

"Too much to do and not enough time..."

There are 6 days before the trials officially start and we can collect our blessings as students of the academy, 6 more days before my abilities are tested and pushed to their absolute limit.

I had already spent most of the day planning my future actions down in a notepad, I made sure to write it in English, a language not known by the people of this world, and kept it hidden safely in my bedside cabinet; I will burn it once I have memorised its contents thoroughly. The remainder of the day was spent eating both lunch and dinner, each meal more decadent than the last.

I heard the soft click of the door close signifying the start of the curfew, as if on cue, my eyelids started to grow heavy.

This had been a long day. From finding out that I had probably died, transmigrated and then eating the equivalent of months worth of food, there was a lot of strain on my mind and body.

Too many things to process for little 'ol me, I deserved some shut-eye.

Closing up my notes and silencing the rest of my rampant thoughts, I snuggled into my pillow and drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

-----

*THUMP*

With a loud thump, the book was shut, drawing in the eyes of the nearby students.

'Reading... sucks.'

It's been about 2 hours since I've been in this library, the official library of Oberon Academy wasn't open but true to the academy's promises there were many other places where students could study, this small library being one of them.

Not just a library was present, but many small businesses that had been approved by the Academy had found their home within its land, considering that I had no money on hand I painfully ignored the delicious smells coming from nearby restaurants and made my way into the most isolated part of the communal library.

But I had made a harrowing discovery.

'I hate studying.'

It had been only a short while since I started to read up on nutrition and exercise to start getting my body up to snuff but with each sentence read I felt my eyes growing heavy, was this normal?

'Saturated fats... carbohight? Carbohydra? Carbohydrate... and uh... glykerol?'

My lack of schooling was rearing its head with little regard for my soul.

"Annoying..." I muttered under my breath.

'I don't know any of this... even back on earth I would've been seen as uneducated but here, on Vishwas where the standard for schooling is much higher I may be seen as a talking potato or some shit.'

If you asked me to run till I dropped I know I could, if you asked me to punch or kick until my limbs fell apart, I can guarantee you that I'd do it. However, asking me to turn to the next page and read a disgusting chunk of word vomit with needlessly long scientific names would have me crying on the floor.

I had attracted a few eyes with my grumbling but I ignored them, choosing to just get up and leave before my brain fried itself.

"EXCUSE me!"

As I was nearing the exit of the library I got called out by a nasally voice.

"Huh?" I turned around in surprise, was someone talking to me? I turned around to see nothing but a few shelves chock full of books and a few studious kids reading books greet me, the owner of the voice was nowhere to be found.

'Must've been the wind? It sounded annoying though...' I turned my head back and continued walking out when I was once again interrupted.

"OY! Where do you think you're going?!"

'Definitely annoying, and definitely not the wind.' I turned back around but this time I was met by a creature with buzzing wings barely a centimeter from my face.

"BUG?!" I rocked my head back and instinctually spasmed to smack the disgusting critter in the face. As my hand shot out to deliver it justice, the bug zig-zagged around my hand and re-positioned itself next to my face.

"BUG? You... how dare you..." The critter was trembling with its face contorted in a snarling expression.

Wait... face?

"You have the gall to insult me, a member of the Oberon Academy disciplinary committee in this way? A human boy dares to call me, a pixie descended from Oberon himself... bug?!"

The pixie was almost shaking in fury, it would be a comical sight if it wasn't for the sudden pressure that the pixie was emanating, it felt like I was standing in front of a heater on full blast.

Too shocked to refute the tiny enraged creature I just stared at it incredulously, this was the first instance of me having met with something that in my original world would've just been a fairytale.

"And yet you say nothing... even after finding out my identity... what a worthless piece of-"

The pixie started chanting off curses in rapid succession like it was stuck in a rap battle with Eminem, the ever-growing heat was getting difficult to bear, was this bu- pixie going to burn down this whole damn library?!

'Fuck fuck! This Pixie's nuts! What now?!'

My mind started going a mile a second as the pixies curses started to get a little strange.

"-You mollywogging Threstrike loving limp di-"

I ignored its insults and remembered a crucial piece of information.

'Pixies are weak to iron and silver, don't have those... How do you deal with something this arrogant? Hmm, maybe if I... yeah that could work..."

I remembered a scene where one of the side characters subdued an enraged pixie by praising it to hell and back, maybe I could do the same? Employing the plan I had come up with on the spot, I quickly changed my expression from one of shock into a strained smile, it was the closest I could get to a cheerful grin.

"O-oh... Great pixie I had no idea it was you! I was just shocked by... your beauty!"

The curses stopped yet the pixie still stared at me with its eyebrows contorted into a V shape.

"I um... have really bad eyesight so I couldn't see you that well and got confused haha!"

The pixie's eyebrows relaxed and it settled down for a bit.

But as quickly as it relaxed, it grew even more twisted, looking like a V transitioning into an I.

"You were entranced by my beauty?" It asked, its nasally voice grating my ears.

"Ah yes!"

"And you have bad eyesight?" it replied back instantly.

"Ah yes!"

"You see how those are probably the most idiotic things you could've said back to back?"

It took a second there for my brain to connect the dots.

"Ah... yes..."

'I'm an idiot.'

'Holy shit is my smooth brain going to get me killed?'

I stared at the pixie with a worried expression, the heat was starting to make me sweat. Just as I was about to ask for forgiveness the heat simmered down and the pixie's expression calmed down.

"Oh are you perhaps..." the pixie took its index finger and twirled it around a little near its head.

"Am I what?" I asked, confused.

"Ya know... kooky? Born kinda off? Dropped one too many times as a babe?" the pixie replied back with a tilt of its head.

This pixie was really asking for it, but it did give me a way out... so...

"Ah yes pixie! My parents had slippery hands!"

What the fuck did I just say.

"Oh... I see, that explains it...." The pixie's expression turned into one of understanding and pity.

'My parents had slippery hands?! Because the pixie asked if I was dropped on my head as a kid? Andri, what the hell's wrong with you?' I was internally screaming at myself but the pixie broke me out of my reverie.

"I was going to chastise you for not putting your book back but considering everything... it's fine. I apologise for blowing up at you I didn't realise!" The pixie was now giving me a cheerful smile, its switch up from wanting to kill me to now smiling creeped me out.

"Ah... yes..."

"Poor thing keeps repeating that too, did I break him even more?" the pixie muttered under its breath, it was a suspiciously loud mutter. I really wanna smack that bug.

"Oh, off you go sweetie! I'll put the book back myself! Do you need help getting back to your dorms?" the pixie asked with a concerned yet nasally tone.

"Ah... no..."

At this point, I was wondering if my parents really did have slippery hands.

The walk back to the dorm with no more information and a pixie not-so-secretly following me from behind was a shameful one.