Chapter 24

'It's obvious Hidan has something to say to me.'

Hinata had just taken a shower and was using a blow dryer on her damp hair. Ever since she finished school, she couldn't get her boyfriend's unusually calm expression out of her thoughts. Half an hour ago, as she entered the bathroom, she suddenly had a realization.

'What if he wants to tell me about what happened at the church when he was a kid? Should I act like I didn't know, or should I come clean?'

When Hinata stepped into her bedroom, Hidan was there, but his demeanor was even more unusual than expected. Closing and locking the door behind her, the girl searched the emotionless face he offered. Not an ounce of his usual fire was there.

"Hidan…?"

She crossed the room to where he stood beside her vanity. Once close enough, she reached forward to grab his hand, only for him to yank it away, "Don't fucking touch me."

Hinata's blood turned to ice.

'...What's going on?'

Taking a step back, she looked over his appearance, "Did something happen?"

"Don't play dumb. You really fooled us," his brow furrowed, a spark of rage touching his irises, "You fooled me."

The girl was completely and utterly dumbfounded, "What are you talking about?"

"Was it always your plan to stab us in the back, or did you get scared after Orochimaru?"

Hinata put her hands out to her sides, annoyed because he wasn't explaining the situation, "Tell me what's going on, Hidan."

"You've been playing spy for your and Itachi's fucking dads, Bitch."

A pang tightened in Hinata's chest at the disgust in his tone. She couldn't help but tear up at the hate he clearly offered, "I-I have not! Why would you think that?"

'That explains why he's treating me like this. If I ever did betray his trust, I think it'd seriously affect him.'

Suddenly, her back hit the bed, and he was on top of her. The man held her jaw tightly and allowed his anger to show freely. He hissed at the terrified and confused girl, "Shut your mouth. Everything you say pisses me off more."

Hinata grasped his arm tightly. He wasn't exactly choking her, but it was hard to breathe. Her heart was pounding loudly in her ears. She choked out through her heavy tears, "H-Hidan, please!"

"I said shut up!" Trembling in fear and feeling betrayed, she obeyed for her own sake.

'Is he going to hit me? I think he is!'

He glared in silence momentarily before admitting, "I can't even bring myself to fucking hurt you despite knowing everything was fake," his voice wavered, eyes narrowing further, "but I have to because if I don't, you're gonna use that evidence to get everyone arrested."

'What is he talking about? What the hell is going on!'

"E-E-Evidence?"

Before now, Hinata was so sure Hidan would never purposely harm her, but it truly seemed imminent.

"I don't understand how you've gotten away with it this long when you were stupid enough to leave files out."

Suddenly, it all clicked. Pearl-colored eyes, brimming with thick tears, turned to see the files her father had given her on the Akatsuki members sitting on the vanity.

'Oh, God,' she met Hidan's enraged glare and realized the mistake she'd made was massive, 'This looks bad from his point of view. He's never going to believe me, but I have to try!'

"H-Hidan, no. It's not-" "I swear to fucking Jashin, if you say it's not what it looks like…."

Hinata had no choice but to ignore his warning because the small glimmer of happiness she'd found was on the line, "But it's the truth, I swear! Please, let me explain!"

The hand resting on her jaw vanished, lifting again as if he intended to strike her. A gasp of air sucked in through her lips, and she squeezed her eyes shut to prepare for impact, but it never came. He'd frozen, teeth gritted with a terrifying expression, "Damn it, Hinata!"

She could only grasp onto his shirt as he shook with an effort to control himself.

"Why? We thought you….I thought you…." Hidan's fist came down with speed, and Hinata tried to shrink into herself as a slight sound of fear left her, but the punch hit the bed.

Her blood was pumping so fast that it felt like she was simultaneously paling and overheating. Every inch of her body shook with anxiety and fear, tears falling steadily from wide eyes.

'I don't know what to do! I understand what it looks like, and I wouldn't blame him for reacting this way if it were true, but it's not! How can I make him calm down?'

When she spoke, her voice was weak and unstable, "My dad, h-h-he gave me those to try to persuade me that you're all bad. Please, Hidan, I-I…." Her words choked off, but she swallowed and tried again, "I didn't know how to tell you. P-Please forgive me! I promise, Hidan. I promise I would never..." Her overwhelmed breathing interrupted her sentence, and she anxiously covered her eyes, unsuccessfully attempting to regain composure.

After a long moment where the only sound was her crying, she added, unable to bring herself to move her hand out of the way and meet Hidan's eye again, "I know wh-what this looks like, but please believe me."

Hinata had always feared the man's intimidating temper and had hoped to never experience it to such a severe degree. It turned out to be even scarier than she had anticipated. It was painful, too, because she had developed deep feelings for him.

"How am I supposed to believe you? If it's all been an act, then crying now is probably easy for you."

'Of all the outcomes I imagined at him finding out about the files, I never imagined this.'

The hurt and betrayal made way for her anger suddenly, and she finally re-grabbed his shirt with as firm a glare as possible, pearl on magenta, "It hasn't been an act. None of it."

Her ire made his flare, "Of course, you'd say that."

He lowered himself further so the tips of their noses nearly touched, "You played the role perfectly. If only there was some kind of two-faced bitch award out there."

'Okay, now he's gone too far. Does he not have any faith in me at all? The moment he has a question about my loyalty, this is how he reacts instead of talking to me first?'

Hinata's brow furrowed, genuinely hurt, "H-How can you say that to me? I know you think I betrayed you, but if I were in your place, I could never…."

When he didn't verbally respond, she sniffled, still unable to completely stop crying, "I thought we understood each other, but if you truly believe I did what you're accusing me of, then you don't know me at all."

"Don't pretend that you're the one with hurt feelings. If anyone has the right to be pissed, it's me. How many people do you think I've placed as much trust in as I did you?" Hidan's eyes welled up with tears, completely catching the Hyuuga girl off guard.

'He's speaking in the past tense. He's heartbroken. That's why he can't control himself. I have to get him to leave before he actually does hurt me.'

The expression of his trying to appear angry and strong while obviously feeling heartbroken was too much. How he'd treated her since she entered the room made her want to crawl under a rock and die.

"It d-doesn't matter what I say, does it?"

Magenta eyes narrowed, a couple of tears dripping onto her face as he stared as though the truth would appear written there. It seemed as though he'd expected more fight from the girl.

'Don't react to it, or he'll get more upset. Get him out of here so he can calm down.'

Hinata's voice trembled as she struggled to remain strong, and she looked away as her own tears started flowing once more. She said, "If you'd rather call someone else to handle me so you don't have to, I won't run."

'I'll have to be honest with whoever shows and pray they're more level-headed about it than Hidan.' The silver-haired man was like an injured animal, lashing out as a tactic to protect itself.

"I can't believe you because if I do, and you're lying again, I really will hate you."

The girl closed her eyes, turning her head to the side to keep her gaze off him, "Hidan, please just call someone to come here. I-I can't handle much m-more of this."

"Hinata-" His phone began vibrating with an incoming call. Eyes never leaving her face, he pulled it from his pocket and put it to his ear, "Fuckin' talk, or I'm hanging up."

She could hear the person on the other side of the phone call. It was Kakuzu who said, "You should return immediately. Nagato said there have been many online searches about some of us. Yahiko insists everyone should stay on lockdown until we figure out who is doing it and why."

"Don't fuckin' bother. I'm looking at the person responsible right now."

There was a pause, the Hyuuga afraid to move a muscle and anger him further, then Kakuzu replied, "Aren't you with Hinata right now?"

"Yep."

"It's not her. That's impossible. She was with you at the time of the searches. During the party."

Hidan's eyes were wide as he stared, frozen, and she turned her neck to take in the gut-wrenching realization sinking into his expression.

The older man on the phone came again, "Please tell me you didn't hurt her."

Due to unknown reasons, those words shattered the emotional wall she'd constructed to keep the pain and fear at a distance. As a result, she started sobbing intensely, to the point where she struggled to catch her breath. She tightly shut her eyes and instinctively placed her hands over her nose and mouth, trying to muffle the sound of her crying.

"Hidan, what did you do? Answer me!"

The sound of the call ending came, and Hidan climbed off her. Hinata slowly sat up, pulling her knees to her chest and burying her face in her arms.

"...Hinata, I'm…."

The girl thought she wanted to be as far away from him as possible, but she realized that wasn't true when she heard him walk toward the window. Hidan revealed his lack of trust in her, which was extremely painful for her. However, the expression on his face when attempting to convince himself to harm her brought a tightness to her chest.

'I should let him leave and hope he never talks to me again, so why do I only want him to comfort me? It's his fault I'm like this!'

"W-Wait," Hinata sat on her knees on the bed, turning to face him while wiping her tears fruitlessly, "Stay. Tell me why…."

Hidan turned to give her a look of disbelief. For once, he was speechless. The girl reached a hand to the open spot on the bed in front of her, "Please don't just leave, or w-we definitely won't make up."

After a long pause, so he could adequately stare at her, he approached, speaking cautiously as he sat where she'd gestured, "A sane person would dump me. They'd…."

'He's right. I should break up with him after what he just did, but for some reason, all I can think about is the reason why he automatically assumed the worst in me. I deserve to know.'

"I still might, but I want to know why you don't trust me. Is it something I said? Or did?"

"I just attacked you, and the first thing you ask is what you did wrong? What the fuck?"

Hinata met his eye, barely containing her angst so she could at least speak, "This is your fault; I know that. Just answer the question."

'If this is what I think it is, I might be able to forgive him. If it's not….'

Hidan averted his gaze to the bed, his tone uncharacteristically soft, "I've never been happy like this before." He glared at his own hands, a bitter edge coating his following words, "You're too fucking good for me, way out of my league, and yet-" It seemed like he was struggling to find the right words to describe his emotions. The girl waited as patiently as possible, wiping at her tears. "Any time something good happens, something terrible always follows. There's no way I'm allowed to have all of this."

When he lifted his head, she did too, and they stared at one another. "And I know it's going to be you that I lose. If I make you hate me, then you won't be able to fuck me up later on."

Hinata's brow furrowed, "But-" "That's what I keep thinking, but we always make up, and I live under the illusion that things might actually be okay for a little while. Then, the process repeats."

'He's trying to hurt me before I can hurt him.'

Rather than fall over herself trying to offer a well-thought-out response, the girl just said what she was feeling, "Funny…. All this time, I've been thinking I'm not good enough for you, and that's why I keep making you angry."

His jaw flexed, but she continued, "Hidan, talk to me if you're worried. Especially about something like this! I know you don't like it, but it's just me here. I won't tell everyone your secrets or use them against you."

The man in question looked half-ashamed, rightfully, and half-unsure.

Hinata reached a trembling hand toward him, almost sighing with relief when he hesitantly held it in his own, eyes averted downward.

Her voice softened to barely a whisper, "There are things I should've talked to you about, too, like those files. I should've called immediately, but I didn't want to bring up your past if it'd be painful. I-I didn't want you to think my perception of you had changed."

"I'm also terrified you'll disappear while I'm sent away. What if I never see you again? What if you fall in love with someone because I wasn't there? ….What if you get hurt…?"

"I did it," Hidan suddenly said.

She looked confused, and he elaborated, "The church massacre. It was me."

Unease washed over the girl, but she held her fear back, "Why'd you do it?"

Magenta eyes were glazed over. Hidan was somewhere far away while his voice became monotone, "They were hurting us, me and the other boys. One of them accidentally killed my brother when he tried to fight back, and I-" His teeth gritted, and he closed his eyes, brow furrowed angrily.

'Oh, my god. I'd hoped he had a good reason, but I wish it'd been anything but that.'

"How old were you?"

"Nine."

"And your brother? What was his name?"

"Hihara. He was thirteen when he died."

Hinata's eyes no longer shed tears for her own sake but for him and the unfortunate destiny of his elder sibling. Despite her reluctance, she could envision the distressing scene of young Hidan discovering the death of Hihara and being emotionally unable to withstand the pain.

"Y-You…Those men, all of them did it?"

Hidan nodded, eyes opening to meet hers. They were reminiscent of the rage of the photo in the file but not as hateful.

A sob shook her chest, and she brought a hand to it, struggling to speak, "I-I-I am so sorry that happened to you."

Overwhelmed by her emotions, she knelt and tightly embraced his head against her chest, surrendering to her uncontrollable tears. The man briefly became motionless, but then tentatively hugged her waist. "Why are you paying attention to any of this?" he asked, his voice filled with intensity and a hint of restraint as if he was making an effort to suppress his emotions.

At that moment, Hinata made a choice she prayed she wouldn't regret. It just felt right.

"H-Hidan, it's okay."

'Please don't make a fool out of me.'

She buried her face in his hair, still crying hard, "If you do something like that again, I won't be able to take it. Everything'll b-be ruined."

Steadily, the soft hold around her became less so until Hidan squeezed her tight as though afraid she'd disappear if he let go, "I'm sorry."