Straw Hats VS Baroque Works

Usopp, Chopper, and Amy VS the Mr. 4 Pair

Mr. 4 and Ms. Merrychristmas caught their prey just outside of the southeast entrance, one of Mr. 4's exploding baseballs knocking two of the figures off of their ducks. The birds were knocked unconscious, but the humans stood up as the agents revealed themselves.

"Well?" Ms. Merrychristmas demanded. "Which one of you is the princess? Which one, huh? Which one?"

"Sorry to disappoint you, Ms. Merrychristmas," a woman's voice laughed from under the hood of the human still on their duck, "but none of us are the princess. Kyahahaha!" The three threw their robes away, exposing Usopp, Chopper, and Amy to the dessert sun.

"We will-" Usopp began. "Ahh! It's a mole-woman!"

"Oh God!" Chopper yelled. "You're right! I didn't think they existed!"

"Ha... Ha... Ha," Mr. 4 laughed as his partner streamed. She hadn't even transformed yet. The woman rushed forward, hoping to quickly kill these pesky pirates and the traitorous woman.

As she ran, Ms. Merrychristmas changed into her hybrid form, claws sprouting from her fingers and toes and a mole's nose replacing her own. She became a mole-woman.

"Ah!" Usopp screamed. "She turned into a penguin!"

"I'm a mole, you moron!" she yelled before burrowing into the ground.

"Chopper," Amy whispered. "Long-Nose, listen. Mr. 4 is a batter that hits exploding baseballs shot by his dog-gun. Don't ask me how that works; I don't know how it happened. I'll deal with Ms. Merrychristmas. Just avoid the holes."

"What holes?" Chopper asked.

"Go!" Amy ordered without any more explanation. She hopped onto Usopp's shoulder before jumping into the air and floating upwards.

"She's ditching us!" Usopp cried.

"What?!" Chopper panicked. There was a loud crack before more could be said and a large explosion bloomed into existence in front of the two males, flinging them backwards.

"I did warn them," Amy sighed. She looked down on their battlefield, which was now riddled with holes big enough for a person of Ms. Merrychristmas' figure. Amy had a rough estimate of the mole-woman's fighting style, so she knew that she would need to get rid of her tunnels to win. There was another crack causing Amy to quickly take in her surroundings. A baseball was coming toward her.

"Oh shit!" Amy increased her mass to 30 kilograms and dropped 15 feet before leveling out. The projectile soared over her head and exploded behind her harmlessly. The woman rode out the blast using her experience from working with Mr. 5 and rose further into the air.

"Kyahahaha!" Amy laughed. "Nice try, Mr. 4, but you're too slow!" Down on the ground, Usopp and Chopper were stirring back to consciousness.

"Ow," Usopp whined. "What hit us?"

"Mr. 4 did, you morons!" Ms. Merrychristmas laughed, popping out of the ground next to the sniper. She took great pleasure in the look of terror on the pirate's face. "He's our fourth batter. He may be slow, but when his gun spits out its time bombs, there's no one who can beat him." Chopper shifted into his Heavy Point and punched at the woman who ducked into her hole.

"She sure is one talkative penguin, isn't she?" Usopp questioned.

"I'm a mole!" said woman yelled from the tunnels.

"Forget about her," Chopper told him. "Amy said to focus on Mr. 4. Let's go."

"Uh, you go ahead. I think my ICan'tFightBattersWithExplodingBaseballs-itis is acting up."

"Shut up, Usopp. That's not even a real disease."

"How do you know?"

"I'm a doctor," Chopper deadpanned. "Come on!" Chopper took off toward the batter, leaving Usopp to follow lest he be left behind at the mole-woman's mercy. From somewhere behind them, the man's dog-gun spat a triad of bombs which the blond hit into the sky in an attempt to shoot Amy down. She deftly avoided all three.

Usopp sped ahead, pulling out a giant hammer with 5t painted in red on the side.

"Usopp Giant Hammer!" The teen brought the weapon down on Mr. 4, hitting him in the face. The man fell backwards.

"Get out of the way!" Amy shouted to the others. "10,000 Kilogram Press!" She came down on Mr. 4, violently crushing him into the dirt. Blood flew from his mouth as the force damaged his inside before his head thumped against the ground. The shockwave blew Usopp and Chopper over as cracks spiraled out from the impact point. The ground, weakened from the tunnels Ms. Merrychristmas had dug, started caving inward.

"Are you trying to kill us?!" Usopp yelled hysterically, pulling himself to his feet and stomping over the chocolateir. "You almost crushed us and you stole my win!"

"I saw a chance and I took it," Amy argued, getting off the batter and in the sniper's face. Neither one noticed the dog/gun hybrid that run over and started trying the wake the man by licking his face. Mr. 4 twitched, but he did not stir. "Did you want to drag out this fight?"

"Well, no," Usopp conceded, "but that's not the point! It's the principle of the thing!"

"Uh, guys?" Chopper tried to say. The mole-woman watched from one of her surviving holes, confused about how someone as scrawny as Usopp could wield a five-ton hammer.

"Who cares about principle? If you find an out, you end it! That's it!"

"I do! I care! Brave warriors don't use sneak attacks to win! They fight their foes head on like the giants of Elbaf!"

"We don't have time for this," Chopper told them. He was ignored.

"Those 'brave warriors', as you called them, nearly died from sneak attacks and underhanded tactics! Your crew is the only reason they're alive right now!"

Chopper sighed. It seemed those two would be yelling at each other for a while, so it was up to him the finish their fight. He locked his gaze on Ms. Merrychristmas who was still staring at Usopp and his giant hammer in horror. Bringing out and eating a Rumble Ball, Chopper bent down and changed into his Horn Point before charging. As much as Chopper loved Usopp as a friend and companion, he had to admit that sneak attacks were more effective for people who weren't the Monster Trio. He came within 15 feet of the Baroque Works agent before she noticed his presence, but that was enough time for her to duck into the hole.

Chopper followed her. He jumped into the hole to find a web of interconnected tunnels with Ms. Merrychristmas' scent all over them. Using his nose, Chopper followed the strongest scent into the rightmost tunnel.

"Do you really think you can beat me?" the woman's voice echoed through the tunnel. "Do ya? Do ya really?"

"I don't have a choice," the reindeer called in the general direction of the sound. "My captain is counting on me. Failure isn't an option."

"Of course it is," Ms. Merrychristmas taunted from the opposite direction. "It was for him. We got word that he died some time ago. He's a failure! A no-good, dead failure!"

"He's not dead!" Chopper snapped. "Don't lie to me!" There was no response. Chopper was still. Having lost her trail, he stayed put in the tunnel. Dirt shifting under him was the only warning the doctor had before the mole-woman appeared beneath him. She rocketed upward, forcing him up and through the ground. Chopper coughed blood, both her claws and the hard earth doing damage to his body.

Thinking quickly, Chopper changed into his Heavy Point and grabbed the woman by her face to pull her out of the ground with him. He threw her up before shifting into Arm Point and attacking.

"Carving Hoof Cross!" He hit her crossed arms, blasting her away. The woman landed on her back with a crack.

"That hurt, dammit! Hurt, hurt, hurt!" She dove into the ground, digging toward the reindeer, dirt rising where she passed. The woman reached him, jumping out of the earth with a cry of "Mole-Mole Slash!" Her claws shot up, cutting a gash in Chopper's side. He hissed.

In response, Chopper brought his fist up in an uppercut, hitting the agent in the chin and sending her away from the ground. He morphed into Jump Point and followed in to the air where he pushed her higher with his legs.

"Ahhhhhh!" Ms. Merrychristmas screamed, the sound finally catching Amy's attention.

"We'll continue this later, Long-Nose," she growled, jumping up to use his face as a springboard. She floated up into the air, spinning her parasol like an airplane's propeller until she was over Ms. Merrychristmas. "10,000 Kilogram Press!"

The two women hit the ground, forming another crater. Chopper looked on cautiously as the dust settled, revealing Amy sitting on the back of the still form of a human Ms. Merrychristmas. Her tunnels continued to collapse underneath them.

"D-Did you kill her?" Chopper stuttered.

"Of course not," Amy waved off. "She has information we could use. Wakey-wakey!" Amy's eyes gained a sadistic gleam as she smacked the unconscious woman beneath her. The Mole-woman stirred as Amy increased the mass of her hand, leaving red marks on the agent's cheeks. "Come on, Ms. Merrychristmas. Let's not make this harder than it has to be. What's the next part of Croc's plan?"

"You'll never get me to talk. Nu-uh, never, no way!"

"I was kind of hoping you'd say that," Amy grinned. "Crescendo Stone. 50 kilos... 100 kilos... 150 kilos... 200 kilos... 250 kilos..."

"Stop it!" the woman begged. "Stop it! My back! It hurts!"

"300... You always were complaining about your back, weren't you? How about this? You tell us everything you know and our doctor heals you up good as new. Back and all."

"No way! Nope! Nu-uh!" The mole-woman had tears in her eyes.

"325... 350... 375..."

"Okay!" Ms. Merrychristmas gave in. "Okay, okay, okay! Mr. 0 ordered us to kidnap the king so that stupid moron, Mr. 2, could attack some town to force the rebellion! The king's behind some cliff south of the city! That's all I know! I swear! All I know, know, know! I swear!"

"Thank you for your cooperation. Chopper, you're up!" Amy chopped the woman's neck with a weighted hand, knocking her unconscious. Chopper shuffled over and started examining the woman's injuries. Amy sauntered over to Usopp who was visibly shaking from watching the torment the blonde had just inflicted. "And that's how you get information. You heard all that, right?" He nodded. "Take one of the ducks. Head towards the Rebel Army and tell them everything we learned. The princess'll want to get her father."

"Who put you in charge?" Amy glared at him. "I mean, right away!" Usopp ran to the still-conscious member of the Super Sonic Duck Squadron and took off toward the shadow in the distance that he assumed to be the Rebels.

Usopp, Chopper, and Amy VS the Mr. 4 Pair

Winners: The Straw Hats

Sanji and Gin VS Mr. 2

Mr. 2 stopped his duo outside the south gate, blocking it and taking a fighting stance. The two pulled to a stop and dismounted lightly.

"Is one of you the one we're looking for?" he asked excitedly.

"Afraid not," the first of the two replied, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. The duo tossed their cloaks to the wind, showing Sanji and Gin. "And let me tell you, you are one ugly-ass man."

"I'm an Okama, you jerk!" Mr. 2 retorted. "Beware, for I will take you both down with my Newkama Kenpo!"

"Oh no," Gin rolled his eyes. "I'm so scared, I'm shaking in my shoes."

"As you should be!" Bon Clay responed, not catching the sarcasm in the pirate's tone.

"Can we get this over with?" Sanji questioned. "I'm running low on cigarettes and the sooner this war is stopped, the sooner I can stop rationing."

"Fine then. Prepare yourselves! Memoir of a Winter Sky!"

The chef and the demon dove to either side as the ground they'd been standing on shattered under the force of the man's toes.

"You've got some pretty strong legs," Sanji smirked as Mr. 2 spun around to try to ax kick him. Sanji countered, catching the man's hairy leg with his own. "But then again, so do I."

"Just who are you?" Mr. 2 asked, his eyes narrowing at the blond.

"Me? I'm just the chef of a pirate ship."

"Don't forget about me," Gin called, bringing one of his tonfa down to break Mr. 2's leg. The man twirled out of the way, aiming his other foot to take the Man-Demon's head off. Gin brought up his other spinning tonfa, the iron meeting the foot at full speed and ceasing all movement.

"Alright, Okama," Sanji taunted. "Let's dance."

"Oh, I do love dancing! Remembrance of that Summer Sky!" Bon Clay launched forward gracefully, twisting his body to dodge Gin's attacks while meeting Sanji's kicks blow-for-blow. "Oh ho! You've got this spark in you. I like that."

"Back off!" Sanji yelled, his kick speeding up to catch the okama's bent leg. Mr. 2 was sent skidding back, Gin's tonfa smashing the ground where he'd been. "I fight for the ladies and only the ladies! You got that?"

"Oh, you haven't accepted yourself, have you?" Mr. 2 questioned sadly. "I shall have to help you with that if you survive. Un, deux, trois!" Bon Clay leapt forward, ducking under Gin's tonfa to kick the Man-Demon in the chest before exchanging rapid-fire kicks with the irate chef. Gin slid backwards, growling in pain.

"Are you implying I'm gay?!" Sanji yelled angrily, kicking as fast as he could. Bon Clay met him blow-for-blow. "I fight for the beautiful women of the world! What in that gives you the conclusion that I'm gay?!"

"Oh, you poor, confused boy. I'll have to force your eyes open to the freedom of erk-"

"Not if I have anything to say about it," Gin interrupted, landing a blow to the man's face. "I doubt you could to anything to Sanji, but I won't take that chance."

"You don't trust my sexuality either?!"

"No chances," Gin repeated. "I like our crew the way it is, thank you very much."

"You fools!" Mr. 2 cried. "Moral obligations aside, do you really think you have a chance of defeating Baroque Works?"

"We've already stolen three of your best agents," Gin pointed out, including Vivi in his count. "Plus we beat how many already? Let's see... 100 at Whisky Peak... I guess we technically only beat two in Little Garden..."

"It doesn't matter!" Mr. 2 shouted, leaping forward. Gin twisted out of the way, barely avoiding the attack. Sanji sprung out from behind him, his leg swinging out to introduce Bon Clay's face to his steel-toed shoe. The Okama was sent backward until his back met the sand, kicking up a dust cloud that covered the area and hid him from vision.

"Was that it?" Gin questioned, eyeing the dust cloud.

"I don't think so," Sanji replied warily. "Crocodile isn't an idiot. If this guy's a number agent, he's got to have some skill."

"Red Dance of the Autumn Leaves!" Mr. 2 sprinted out of the cloud, reaching the pirates within a matter of seconds. There, his extended his right leg up in a perfect split, kicking Gin in the chin. The former Krieg pirate was launched into the air, hacking up blood and losing his grip on his weapons. Vaugely, Gin wondered to himself why it was that kicks always defeated him. To finish his attack, Bon Clay switched legs and kicked Gin in the stomach, sending him into the wall surrounding Alubarna. The man's body impaled the wall, his legs dangling several feet over the ground.

Thinking fast, the chef quickly kicked Gin's falling weapons, launching them at the Okama. Mr. 2 batted them to the left, but this left him open from his right. Sanji swept his remaining leg out from under him before hopping into a handstand and wrapping both of his legs around the man's waist. Sanji twisted, forcing Mr. 2's momentum to change directions. The Okama faceplanted, eating sand.

The pirate stood and prepared to finish the fight, but his foe rolled out of the way at the last second, avoiding the small, cracked crater the force of Sanji's ax kick made on the ground.

"You're pretty good, Chef-chan," Bon Clay admitted, "but my next attack will have you rolling on the floor laughing, unable to protect yourself! The silliest hairstyle. The funniest eyes. The most ridiculous nose. The strangest mouth. These elements come together to form my Clone-Clone Montage. Behold! The world's funniest face!" Sanji stared at him blankly. "Why aren't you laughing?"

"You just added Usopp's nose to your face."

"Well fine. If that's not going to work..." The man changed his face agian, taking on the appearance of the Straw Hats' oldest swordsman, Zoro. "You wouldn't attack your own crewmate, would you?"

Sanji gave him an "are you kidding me?" look before nailing him in the face.

"You jerk!" Bon Clay fumed, reverting back to his regular form. "You just attacked your friend!"

"You're still you," Sanji pointed out. "Your clothes didn't even change. Plus I kick that Moss-Head all the time." He glanced behind the man. "Oh my Goda! That store has a two-for-one deal on eyeliner and mascara!"

"What?! Where?!" Mr. 2 yelled excitedly. While he was distracted, Sanji attacked.

"Mutton Shot!" The chef's leg crushed Bon Clay's face into the hard earth, forcing him into unconsciousness. "Damn it," Sanji swore, lighting a cigarette. "Gin might have been on to something. I did that way too well." He wandered over to where his friend was and pulled him out of the wall, shaking him until the Man-Demon came to. "Oi! Gin. Pull yourself together. You look like shit."

"Hey, Sanji?" Gin ground out, still not fully awake. "You got any more cigarettes?"

"A few. Why?"

"You look badass from this direction."

"Are you going to start smoking?"

"Yeah..." Gin mumbled, feeling the urge to fall back into the land of dreams. "Why the Hell not?"

Sanji and Gin VS Mr. 2

Winner: Sanji

Nami VS the Ms. Doublefinger

Mr. 1 and Ms. Doublefinger had to sneak into the city before catching up to their opponents. They found them waiting in the middle of an average road. No words were spoken as the disguises were thrown away; a man, a woman, and a dummy on the camel.

"Sorry," Nami taunted. "Not the princess you're looking for. You'll never get her either. Now get 'em, Zoro!"

"Yeah, yeah," the green-haired man waved off.

"Well, Ms. Doublefinger, is seems we've been had."

"So it seems, Mr. 1."

"I'll take the man."

"Then I'll take the girl." Their plan established, the agents rushed forward to face their foes.

Nami and Zoro split up, the swordsman running to the left and the navigator to the right. More than likely, the agents' teamwork would be better than their own, so 1-vs-1 fights gave them a higher chance of success. Nami dove into an alley and ran to the end, tearing her cover up on the way for more maneuverability.

"There's no point in running," Ms. Doublefinger taunted from the alley's entrance, a lit pipe in one hand. She sauntered forward, her legs crossing with every step and her hips swaying back and forth far too much to be normal. "Give up now and I won't kill you."

"Fat chance, lady," Nami shot back as she pulled out three blue poles. "I had our sniper make the perfect weapon for a navigator like me: The Clima-Tact. Plus I got some practice in while running from marines in Nanohana."

"So you have three sticks. Big deal." Nami did not respond. Placing one of the pieces of her weapon in her mouth, the navigator spun the other two, blue-tinted balls of air coming out of the one in her left hand and red-tinted air balls from the one in her right. Some of the balls floated over toward the agent, the blue ones making her shiver slightly. The rest worked their way upward toward the sky.

"That feels nice," Ms. Doublefinger sighed.

"It won't for long! Cyclone Tempo!" Two poles locked in an X shape launched at Ms. Doublefinger, forcing her to dive out of the way and losing her tobacco in the process. The attack doubled back, nearly hitting the agent in the back of the head before locking back with the third pole.

"It seems I underestimated you, girl," the agent spat, standing up and batting some hair away from her eyes. "I'll just have to take you seriously. Spiky Fists." Much to Nami's surprise, the Baroque Works agent flexed, hidden muscles and miniature spikes shredding her jacket. Most of the spikes receded, but the ones on her forearms and hands lengthened to about four inches each.

"Oh crud." Nami dove out of the way as Ms. Doublefinger shot forward with her right fist leading, piercing the air where Nami's heart had been. The navigator bolted, the agent following with a sadistic grin.

"Carue! Help me!"

"Whaa!" the duck yelled, running in and blindsiding the agent. While surprised, Ms. Doublefinger quickly spun around and retaliated with a backfist. Carue was thrown into a wall by the force of her punch, a small hole staining the feathers of his shoulder red. He slumped, is head bleeding from the impact.

"Damn duck," Ms. Doublefinger growled. "Now come out, girl!"

"I'm over here, tramp!" Nami's voice called, the insult angering the agent who spun around and locked her eyes on the orange-haired girl. Shooting forward faster than Nami had thought she could, the woman sprouted spikes from her fingers and shoved them into the pirate's chest.

Or, she would have if she had been there. The image of the girl fell apart, fading away like morning mist in the noonday sun.

"You've got to be careful in this heat," Nami taunted, walking out from behind a handful of barrels on the other side of the street as arrogance filled her. "Apparently, it can cause mirages."

"You bitch!" Ms. Doublefinger shouted, running toward the navigator. Nami fired another Cyclone Tempo at the woman, but she dodged to the side and punched. Nami attempted to get out of the way, but the spiked fist tore into the skin of her left shoulder. Turning, Nami tried to dash away, but a spike penetrated her right heel, causing the girl to crumple into the dirt.

"Not too tough are you now, little girl?" Ms. Doublefinger leaned over the pirate, wishing to see her handiwork before finishing her opponent off. Nami rolled onto her back and pointed her weapon at the woman.

"Thunder Tempo!" she yelled, a boxing glove on a spring coming out of the end of the Y-shaped Clima-Tact. The rubber glove punched a surprised Ms. Doublefinger in the face, causing her to stumble backward and into the shade of a black cloud.

"I've got you now!" Nami declared, standing up painfully. "Today's forecast calls for spontaneous thunderstorms above number agents. All remaining Baroque Works employees are encouraged to stay outside for the show. Thunderbolt Tempo!" The pirate launched a Thunder Ball into the raincloud she'd formed over the street, the ball charging the atoms and causing a bolt of lightning to plunge from within and strike the Baroque Works agent. Ms. Doublefinger wobbled, her hair standing on end, before she fell forward.

Carue snuck forward and poked the agent with one of his wings, but there was no reaction whatsoever from the woman save fora twitch of her eye.

Nami vs. Ms. Doublefinger

Winner: Nami

Crocodile touched down just outside of Alubarna, coming together piece-by-piece from the sand cloud he'd moved across the dessert as. The Warlord had taken his sweet time with the knowledge that Straw Hat was dead and that Alabasta would fall by the end of the next day at the latest. He stepped forward for the first time in several hours and looked around. This was the meeting spot; he was certain that he had gotten that across to those idiots. Where were they?

The Warlord growled has he trudged around the rocky outcropping. None of his agents were to be found, only their handiwork in the form of a tied up and gagged King Cobra Nefertari. The man was on his stomach trying to wiggle toward a gargantuan shadow in the dessert.

"Those morons," Crocodile growled, eyeing the Rebel Army in the distance. His voice made the king twist around in surprise. He glared at the sand-man, showing that he knew that the war was the man's doing. "They can sneak through impenetrable defenses to steal a king without getting caught, but can't kill one little princess and a tiny pirate crew. I guess it's a good thing I wasn't really after the country." Cobra's eyes widened. "Tell me, King Cobra, where is the ancient weapon Pluton?"