Goddess Noah true feelings

Goddess Noah (POV)

I'm currently bending my knees on the ground.

No goddess will do this to her believer.

This is showing how special he is to me.

Not meeting the eyes of my one and only believer.

(Deja Vu...)

I heard his thought.

"Umm... Noah-sama."(Makoto)

"Makoto, do you plan on stopping being my believer?" (Noah)

I said nervously. This is the first time I feeling this.

Ever since I make him my believer I always feel a variety of emotions.

Back then the emotion I always feel is... "Tiredness"

"I haven't said anything yet." (Makoto)

"You are worried about what that white one said, right?" (Noah)

(Not really... But I want to know what happened to my apostle senpai)

I heard his thought.

"Noah-sama, were you the ally of the Demon Lord 1,000 years ago?" (Makoto)

"…Who knows." (Noah)

"I didn't say I would stop being your believer." (Makoto)

(It would trouble me to not be able to use Spirit Magic.)

What is this boy saying...

"Even if you stop being my believer, the Spirit User Skill will stay, you know." (Noah)

"Eh? Really?" (Makoto)

"Gods are not so narrow-minded as to take away what has been given." (Noah)

(…Is that so.)

"What will you do? Quit?" (Noah)

Even though I don't want him to quit...

The Titan gods are a believer of freedom.

If I will just take him selfishly that will be against of what we believe in...

"As I said, why are you so persistent about that?" (Makoto)

"After hearing about what that white one said, you are suspicious about me, right?" (Noah)

"You just talking it that now?"(Makoto)

He looked at me dumbfounded.

How rude!

Then he continues.

"In the first place I'm always suspicious of you, not just now but from the very beginning. But I believe in you Noah-sama. I'm your believer after all..."(Makoto)

I see, so that's how it is.

Somehow I feel...

Relieved and happy?

(Back then I didn't know that the goddess I'm following is an evil god that if every country know I'm sure I was a goner...)

Right...

(I'm just curious about one thing.)

"Why did you make my predecessor Evil God Apostle ally with the Demon Lord?" (Makoto)

"A lot happened." (Noah)

I don't know...

I just can't talk about it.

(She doesn't want to tell no matter what? If you don't want to then it can't be helped)

"Noah-sama, what is it you truly want? Please tell me." (Makoto)

(I really want to know... I don't want to always rely on you... I also wanted you to rely on me as your only believer.)

Ahh... His really persistence.

What should I do?

Just looking at him and hearing his thoughts there's no way...

I can resist that...

"…It is normally the other way around, you know. Why is the believer asking for the wish of the Goddess?" (Noah)

Our silence continued for a while.

Looking at him... He has no change reaction.

He's looking at me intently that saying I will not leave if your not saying anything.

I gave up...

The loneliness that I feel... And the anger that I felt when my family is killed and imprisoned in the Tartaros.

All of it... is coming back at me.

This is the first time that I will say about my true feelings...

And my one and only believer is the one who did this to me.

So I spoke weakly about what happened a million years ago.

∆∆∆∆∆

Makoto (POV)

The goddess began to speak weakly.

"…By the time I gained awareness, the Titans had already lost the battle of the God Realm, and there was no one around. Everyone was trapped in Tartaros, and I was alone." (Noah)

"I lived together with the God Giants for a while, but they too fought the Holy Gods, and they were either killed or sealed…" (Noah)

"Since then, I was always alone for more than 15,000,000 years. I tried a variety of things to save my comrades, but in the end, I ended up getting imprisoned in the Deep Sea Temple…" (Noah)

"I couldn't do anything by myself anymore…" (Noah)

"Even so, I wanted to save everyone…" (Noah)

Noah-sama looks lonely...

Saving her Titan God friends.

Is that what your true wish Noah-sama?

But the Titans apparently have been sealed in a place that mortals can't go to.

So I can't do anything about that.

In the first place, was all the Apostles did something that helped out the Titans in some way?

So to change the topic I asked the apostle of Noah-sama 1,000 years ago.

"1,000 years ago, why did your Apostle kill the heroes?" (Makoto)

"The Devil bunch said that if I side with the Demon Lord and kill the heroes, they would save the Titans." (Noah)

Devils?

This is the first time I heard of them, but there's even those guys, huh.

"The Devils, the Gods that created the demons and monsters. They were also battling the Holy Gods. But, in the end, they didn't keep their promise though…" (Noah)

Noah-sama says this in sorrow.

"Then, this time around, you won't be asking me to kill the heroes, right?" (Makoto)

"In the first place, do you think you can defeat them, Makoto?" (Noah)

I remember the figure of Sakurai-kun defeating the Taboo Dragon in one hit.

…There's no way I can.

And I can't kill innocent people.

I'm not a psychopath.

"The situation is completely different from 1,000 years ago. At that time, the mortal plane was ruled by the Great Demon Lord and demons. The people despaired, and the faith towards the Holy Gods had weakened. That's why I thought the Devil's side was in the advantage." (Noah)

"Hmm…I see." (Makoto)

"Maybe they learned from that. Now, everyone in the mortal plane is obligated to enter the religion of one of the Goddesses the moment they are born! With this, I can't get any believers!" (Noah)

The Goddess raises her voice.

"That's why, when your classmates came to this world, I thought it was my chance. The japanese were all without religion." (Noah)

"But everyone got scouted." (Makoto)

"The remaining one was you. Moreover, my charm magic didn't work. It was totally outside my plans…" (Noah)

My Goddess is a real schemer.

"What are you talking about? All Goddesses do something like show their believers good dreams, you know?" (Noah)

"…Is that so." (Makoto)

It isn't something I really wanted to hear though.

"So, what are you going to be doing from now on, Noah-sama?" (Makoto)

"…The source of the Holy Gods' strength is faith. The stronger and plentiful the faith from their believers is, the stronger their control. On the other hand, if the believers fall into despair, their faith lowers, and the strength of the Holy Gods lowers." (Noah)

A situation where humans despair…

"The revival of the Great Demon Lord?" (Makoto)

It is apparently going to happen in a few years from now.

"But I don't want to become a pawn of the Demon Lord." (Makoto)

"I know that. I won't trust them anymore." (Noah)

Hm, this is complicated.

"Right right. Just like the white one said, if the Great Demon Lord rules over the mortal plane, the humans will receive treatment lower than that of slaves. 1,000 years ago was a terrible state." (Noah)

I would like Sakurai-kun to be the one doing his best on that front.

Maybe there really is the need to gather the strength of everyone?

"There's a lot of scattered information, so I will arrange it." (Makoto)

I place a hand on my head, and arrange the pieces of information one by one.

"The wish of the Goddess is:

Do something about the threat of the Great Demon Lord that will be reviving in a few years.

Weaken the faith for the Holy Gods to lower the strength of the Holy Gods.

Once the strength of the Holy Gods is weakened, we might be able to save the Titans.

Is that how it is?" (Makoto)

Can I do something like that?

It sounds crazy difficult.

But I will just do my best.

"I don't plan on asking such unreasonableness from my only believer. I am letting you be free, right?" (Noah)

It is true that if I were to be asked that the moment I left the Water Temple, I would have immediately withdrawn.

"The reason why I told you to go to Laberintos was out of good will of wanting to have you meet your friend." (Noah)

'Isn't that right?', is what Noah-sama says with a cute face.

"But it is my chance now. In these 1,000 years, the faith towards the Holy Gods has been one-sidedly rising. The Devils that don't find it agreeable are putting strenuous efforts to have the demons attack the mortal plane. You might be able to slip in well in that." (Noah)

"Slip in, as in what exactly?" (Makoto)

"You will be doing greater achievements than the heroes the Holy Gods chose. By doing that, they will begin thinking: 'The Holy Gods are unreliable. Isn't the God that Makoto believes in better?'" (Noah)

"Do you think it will go that smoothly?" (Makoto)

I am not sure.

The Goddess must have read that sentiment of mine, her expression softens.

"Well, I won't force you. Do as you please, Makoto." (Noah)

Fumu.

So, choose yourself, huh.

But the Great Sage-sama said something that bothered me a lot.

"My Evil God Apostle senpai apparently had gone crazy." (Makoto)

"T-That was…her putting it in an evil way. It was just that my believer got a bit crazy after falling way too deep into my charm! The person himself looked really happy, you know?!" (Noah)

Hmm?

Is that considered happiness?

Isn't that the pattern where only the person himself is happy when falling deep into an evil cult?

"Charm doesn't work on you, Makoto, so it shouldn't be a problem with you." (Noah)

"That's true, but…" (Makoto)

"So, what will you do?" (Noah)

The Goddess looks up at me while still sitting there.

[Will you accept the invitation of the Evil God Noah and turn around the system of the world?]

Yes

No ←

…This is the hardest choice to make in my whole life.

I once again look at Noah-sama.

She looks divine, beautiful, and lovely.

(She continued to challenge the Holy Gods all alone…) (Makoto)

Since mythological times.

Honestly speaking, I can't even begin to imagine it.

Several millions of times more loneliness than my lonely training of around 1 year since coming to this world.

Noah-sama is the first person that called out to me when leaving the Water Temple.

Even if she had ulterior motives.

The reason why I survived when fighting the Griffon was thanks to the Divine Protection of Noah-sama.

Spirit Magic was something Noah-sama gave to me.

I managed to reunite with Sa-san and Sakurai-kun.

(I have been receiving all this time.) (Makoto)

I haven't given anything back yet.

"What will you do?" (Noah)

Noah-sama was resting her chin in one hand as she looked over here.

I once again look at the options.

[Will you accept the invitation of the Evil God Noah and turn around the system of the world?]

Yes ←

No

This world is being controlled by the Holy Gods.

Different from my predecessor, I have to go against the Devils.

I am the only Evil God believer in this world.

In other words…the enemy of the world.

(The difficulty balance is messed up…) (Makoto)

But fine.

The answer was obvious from the very beginning.

"Noah-sama, let's make your wish a reality together." (Makoto)

I kneeled in front of Noah-sama and, while making eye contact, I answered her.

…Aah, maybe I have also been charmed?

"Thank you, Makoto." (Noah)

The smile of Noah-sama was radiant.

And in this way, I officially became the Apostle of the Evil God Noah, aiming to overturn the world together.