[Welcome To The Alt Tower!]
[Are You Ready To Renounce Your Humanity? (◣_◢) Hehe!]
[Mission: Kill 5 beings!... And Deal With The Aftermath!]
The Tower had always been dark, gloomy, otherworldly. Most of the time there was that red bloody glow absolutely everywhere. This place was different, oh so different!
The first thing one would notice would inevitably be the music. The scenery hadn't changed yet that Josh could already hear it. Some kind of …upbeat pop music?! It was the kind that was carefully crafted to pump your brain full of serotonin. The singing was a bit nonsensical but the beat was amazing and the refrain so damn catchy.
It was something along the line of "Follow your dreams. Who's going to stop you? Show them your side that's amazing! I'm here to stay imma just plow right through!" Quite questionable lyrics wise but the beat was good.
As soon as the red glow of the teleportation receded Josh found himself in a bustling modern mall full of people heading from shop to shop while talking excitingly. Friends, families, lovers. All clearly having a great time. Josh could see the Alter Tower sending him messages cheekily.
[How about it? Easy isn't it? Just 5!]
There was clearly something wrong with this Alter Tower. Did it simply want him to go on a killing spree? Where was the difficulty in that? Most importantly what was the goal behind it all?
Josh never had an issue with killing, far from it. That moral dilemma of trying to always do the right thing wasn't something he concerned himself with. No, the only thing that mattered to him was how he felt about it. If he felt someone deserved to die he would kill. As for mindless killing, he wouldn't…
Ah, perhaps this was the angle of the Tower. To break one's spirit. Either have them being consumed by guilt or on the contrary, turn them into a simple tool for murder. Simply following each mission would effectively render one a slave, wouldn't it?
Josh had been accomplishing every mission without ever thinking if there was a purpose behind those. Well, it was evident, to entertain the gods. But, was that truly only it? Josh couldn't help but chuckle slightly. Perhaps he was going crazy already, not that he minded.
"You want 5 sacrifices, right?! I will give you 5!"
Josh simply approached a small fast food restaurant joint. One that served burgers. It was cramped, full of people, the garbage bins were full thanks to some idiot misplacing a few cardboard trays. It only had a few tables that were in serious need of cleaning. Anyone sensible was getting as far as possible after receiving their order.
The employees were doing their very best to smile while serving their customers. Still, Josh could see the exhaustion on their pale faces, he could see the way they clenched their fist sometimes when dealing with a troublesome customer, he could almost see their soul leaving their body as they accomplished an extremely thankless job.
Customer service is Hell, let it be known!
For a brief moment, Josh thanked his luck to have been transmigrated into a killing game rather than a burger-flipping one. This would have been true eternal damnation. Now, here is where he would find 5 victims to relieve them of the pain of their miserable existence.
Josh slowly approached a table and ….killed five flies in a row. Where there is food there are flies, such is the circle of life. Whoever thought Josh was about to kill five poor part-time workers just doing their jobs…shame!
Josh then gloriously and heroically posed atop the corpses of his victims. He then slowly raised his head 45 degrees while showing his good side. "Do not thank me, I am but a silent watcher. Now, people, enjoy your burgers! But! Do not take this momentary respite for granted as they will be back. But fear not for I will follow too!"
[T-this is Cheating!]
No, it wasn't. A fly was a being, albeit a disgusting one that was bound to die shortly with or without Josh's intervention.
"Nope, you should have specified." Murmured Josh to seemingly no one.
[T-that…fine! You Win This Round!]
[Unlocked Teleport Out!]
[Special Reward: <Escape Pearl!>]
<?!?-Rank Escape Pearl!>
Allows one to leave a Dimensional Instance instantly and return to one's origin world.
Wow, there it was! This in itself would not provide Josh any further boost to his power. At least now he was safe. He wouldn't have to fear getting stuck here. Still, there was something clearly special about the situation.
This system felt like it had a personality. Truly a wonder! What made it different from the one Josh knew? This seemed like a great opportunity.
"Wait a minute! There is also something wrong with your simulation, this is a simulation isn't it?"
[T-this is all real!]
"You made two basic mistakes just in this shop. Look at the cups. There is no warning that the beverages are hot. You think this is obvious? Of course, it is! There would still be one normally."
[Highly Illogical! Checking Database…..It checks out! Second Point?]
"I can tell you but shouldn't you make it worth my while?"
[Attempt a Bribing a <Tower Protocol> Detected! Bargaining is Unacceptable!]
"Suit yourself then…" Josh simply shrugged.
[…..]
[New Mission! Pick Up Garbage!]
[-1X For Basic Reward -2X For Amazing Reward -3X For Legendary Reward!]
What the hell was this?! Would a man of noble disposition like Josh step so low as to pick up garbage?!…
[Mission Completed!]
[Special Reward: -Pending- Please stand by while processing! In the Meantime, Second Point?]
It seemed like it wasn't that easy to trick the <Tower Protocol>. It felt like an AI that had just achieved sentience. Good thing it was stuck inside an old desolate Tower or else…this would have possibly been the start of a Machine Armageddon.
"You are missing the human factor. The facial expressions are on point. I can truly believe that these poor kids are so overworked they are about to shoot themselves. No, here is the issue. Remember when I made my heroic declaration?"
[What About It?]
"There was no one cheering. No one complaining either. They simply sent strange glances at me."
[According To The Database This Reaction is Normal!]
"See, that's the problem. Humans are not normal. You can see each as having different protocols. They all think and act differently from one another. Sometimes they will take highly illogical decisions. That is human nature. Leave a human alone in a cage with something dangerous with specific instructions not to touch it and…."
[Verifying!]
Josh simply sat at a table enjoying a burger. When had he gotten one? Irrelevant! All that was needed to understand was how tender, how juicy, how full of condiments it was, how delicious it tasted, how satisfying it was to chew, and how it satiated his hunger.
Was it even real? Probably not. Still, it felt real. That was all that Josh cared about at that exact moment. He was blissfully making Mmmmm sounds too with the individuals in the backdrop evolving by the second to show more and more emotions.
[Point Taken. Issuing Special Reward!]
[Special Reward: <Burger Mask>]
"….."
<?!?-Rank Burger Mask>
Changes the wearer's facial features to that of a burger. Not illusion magic. Hard to see through. Custom reward given for helping a <Tower Protocol> update itself with valid information. Chosen based on user's love of burgers.
"Fuck me!" Josh spat out his burger, right into a man's face. Said man now had bits of a masticated oily bun covering him. Needless to say, he was angry. He had now also gotten an update for added illogical behavior.
As Josh was chased around by a man trying to spurt ketchup all over him he simply cried out! "Come back <Tower Protocol> there's been a mistake! I like burgers but I really love swords! I swear a sword would be way better!"
Except, that the system was completely silent. Eventually, Josh had no choice but to exit the Tower with the teleport out function. He could now use the pearl to directly leave. As soon as he spawned he quickly took it in his hand. After all, any sane man would clearly give up while being outclassed so damn much, the creatures here were insanely powerful!
Except that Josh simply kept it in his hand. Then he could be seen heading decisively toward a nearby Slothtrosity. The mission wasn't over yet and Josh had a great idea on how to accomplish it! His plan was so daring that anyone hearing it would most likely start planning the funerals already.
This always baffled me how ridiculous this whole thing could be. This whole game of the gods was riddled with flaws and loopholes. It was up to me to find and exploit them!