The Forsaken

The Emperor walked into his reception hall to find the Empress dowager sitting down and seething. As soon as the doors closed behind him, she glared at him, "How dare you keep me waiting here?"

The Emperor snorted, "For someone who was said to be at death's door a little while ago, you have a lot of energy." He walked over and sat down across the Empress dowager.

"You sound disappointed." The Empress dowager said, frowning in his direction.

 The Emperor simply looked at her and did not respond. After a while of the two sitting in silence. The Empress dowager then sighed, "I heard one of your precious Noble consorts got injured today."

The Emperor still did not respond.

The Empress dowager continued, "...So I thought it wise to pay her a visit...and you treat me this way?" She finished raising her voice, then she scoffed, "Well you have always been a fickle-minded person like your father, it is my fault for expecting more of you."

The Emperor frowned and simply said, "En, it is your fault."

 The Empress dowager's frown deepened and then she began to scold, "How can a child desert his own mother? Do you know how ha-"

"Mother, I have been thinking about what to do with you. You ar-" The Emperor calmly said cutting her off.

The Empress dowager shot up in anger, "Are you really going to abandon me again because of a girl? Can't you see that this is all some stupid plot? She obviously caused this and-"

"Do you even remember it?" The Emperor interjected and the Empress dowager froze. The Emperor looked at her and then sighed, "As I thought...You taught me that for one to stand above others, one must always be contained and never subject to the whims of others. Even though she somehow forced your hand, you should not have been in a place to be moved in the first place."

The Empress dowager knit her brows and did not answer.

{...How did he know?...}

 The Emperor continued, "In the past, your motivation for all the things you did always had to do with the late Emperor. What motivation did you have in what you did today? I have tried but have been unable to make sense of this move, so do enlighten me on what you hoped to gain by killing her, especially in such a public way." The Emperor finished and looked at the Empress dowager waiting for a response.

The Empress dowager blinked and then frowned, "Y-You're blaming me for this?"

The Emperor sighed, "While I can understand that you may have some problems...but, as you often reminded me, it is your duty to keep them under control. If others grasp any weakness in you, it will be your downfall...But then again, I don't think I need to remind of you of this. After all, you have experienced that for yourself..."

 The Empress dowager's frown deepened as she was reminded of her lowest moments and of that sickening woman's gloating words, '...Ah, there is no need for you to worry. I will make sure to take very good care of him for you.'

Her eyes filled with anger, and she said through gritted teeth, "You traitorous son! You want to abandon me like this again?!"

The Emperor frowned and then got up, "You abandoned me first. And it seems you are not aware of this, but your freedom today is because of me, the power you hold today is also because of me. I have shown you what is called forgiveness on the account for all your suffering that had nothing to do with me, and I have shown you a tolerance that you have never shown anyone. Rather than putting on this show here, I suggest you return and reflect on your own shortcomings before they destroy you."

He finished and started walking away, then paused after a few steps and turned back to her, "I will add this. I am in no way...in any shape or form like the late Emperor. If you keep overstepping your boundaries, you will be held accountable to the full extent of the consequences. You can consider this a warning, do not push me." He finished and walked out of the room, leaving the Empress dowager standing there with a deep scowl.

 After the Emperor left, Song mama rushed into the room to find the Empress dowager just standing there staring at the doors.

After Song mama called to her a few times, she blinked and looked at her and asked, "How long has it been since the Harvest moon celebration?"

"It was four days ago."

"Four days..." The Empress dowager whispered.

Song mama looked at her worried and asked, "Your majesty, is there something wrong?"

The Empress dowager did not respond and simply walking out.

{...The celebration feels just like it was just yesterday, I don't remember four whole days?...Nothing at all? like they never happened...And how did Kai'er know about that?...

...I abandoned him? He was the one who left me!... He ran away simply because I scolded him and then almost got himself poisoned to death, probably by that same Zhao witch, and he stupidly went to live with her after too!... Wait, something like this also happened then too...}

As she rode the palanquin back to her palace, the Empress dowager went over the events of the past in her mind.

At that time, she had woken to find an Imperial doctor in the small room in the cold palace, she was informed that she had passed out due to overexertion. She then asked where her son was.

Song mama informed her that it seemed that two days ago, both of them had gotten into an argument, where she must have scolded him too harshly, so he ran away, got poisoned, and was currently fighting for his life.

On hearing this, she was of course, frantic and clamored to see him and for him to be brought back to her, but her pleas were ignored.

After a week, she received news that he was able to make a full recovery, she expected him to return to her immediately, but she waited and waited, but he never came.

She even made threats to kill herself if he was not returned to her to force the Emperor to make him come back, but her threats fell on deaf ears this time.

Song mama had even gone to try to talk the little prince into returning or at least visiting his mother, but he never responded to her.

Another week and a few days went by. Finally, he came back with Eunuch Li in tow.

As soon as he walked in, she ran to him and looked him over, "Kai'er, you finally came back! Tell me who poisoned you? Was it that Zhao witch? It must be her, I greatly underestimated that witch! This is why I told you never to go wandering around!" She scolded.

She took a deep breath to calm herself, "Don't worry, once I get out of here, I will get rid of her once and for all! You need to stay here with me for your own safety, how will you protect yourself from those vipers?"

Then she scoffed, "He should know now that you need me to be able to live well. So what did the Emperor say about this? Has he looked into it who did it? Don't tell me he will cover up for that Zhao witch? Tell me!"

As she was talking, the little prince just blankly stared at her with a deepening frown.

"Why aren't you saying anything?" She asked.

The little prince then brushed her hands off his shoulders, stepped back, and then flatly said, "I came to say that I will never come back here." Then he glanced at Song mama and then back to his mother, "So stop coming to look for me, it is infuriating." Then he turned and walked out towards the gate.

The Empress dowager stayed there frozen in place as her mind slowly processed his words, and then she became outraged and rushed towards the gate, "How dare you?! How dare you say that after everything I've done for you? For us?! How can you be so foolish as to let yourself be used like this?! How could a son I gave birth to be so blatantly foolish?!"

By the time she got to the gate, the guards had already locked it behind him.

She raged on for a little while longer, pounding on the closed gate with Song mama beside her trying to calm her down.

After she calmed down, she sunk to the floor and Eunuch Li walked up to her and knelt beside her and bowed, "Your majesty, do not worry, I will make sure to properly look after him in your stead till the day when you can be free."

She did not respond and just kept staring blankly at the gates.

After giving her another bow, Eunuch Li got up and left, the gate was opened and promptly locked behind him.

She continued sitting there looking at the gate for a long while after they left with Song mama at her side, trying to reassure her that the little prince did not mean what he said and he would be back soon.

{...How could he? How could he abandon me like this? I had put my all into him and now this...Is the world truly against me? What is the point of living now?... Wouldn't it have been better to have just died then with everyone... Even the child I had hope in has left me now too...Living is really too hard...}

The Empress dowager frowned in irritation as she recalled those memories.

Another set of memories came to mind, this strange forgetfulness event reminded her of how she used to stab the late Emperor.

While she hated him, she never intended to injure him, except on one occasion. It served her no purpose to constantly antagonize him and was something that could only be detrimental to her cause.

She never remembered stabbing him on all the other occasions save for the one.

One moment everything will be fine and things will be going smoothly between them. Then she would blink and find herself holding a bloody object with him injured and looking at her with anger and pain.

It was only a split second she did not recall, she never meant to, but she always did it, and seeing his accusing eyes filled her with so much anger that she could not control herself and would end up flying into a rage. And so they would always end up arguing and parting on very bad terms.

{...How dare he expect me to apologize after everything he did!... He deserved it and more!...}

When she returned back to her palace, she had Song mama recount the events of the last few days to her. As she listened, she tried hard to recall but could not recall anything at all.

"...You were meeting with a Doctor, a well-known skilled fertility doctor called Doctor Lou, you wanted to empl-"

"That's enough!" The Empress dowager suddenly shouted, holding her head. Her head was hurting, and her ears were ringing loudly as well. "I'm tired."

Song mama immediately went to her side to help her up to the bed, "Your majesty, you just recovered, you need to rest more. All these things do not matter, your health is most important."

As the Empress dowager laid down. She kept thinking back to the Emperor's words and past events.

{...Could something else have happened during those two days?... But even so, how could he abandon me like that? If he can abandon me once, he can definitely do it again... But how could I strangle - I still find it unbelievable...It makes no sense...}