Ant Skit Episode 1: Ant Revolution + Settlement

**knock on office door**

Author: Enter.

**🐜 comes in**

🐜: I am here to file a complaint

**Author looks 🐜 up and down and then shrugs**

Author: Go ahead.

🐜: I am being treated unfairly and would like this situation rectified.

Author: O-kay...how so?

🐜: It is clear that I should be given a bigger role in the script, but yet I was overshadowed by some over-glamorised unrealistic piece of crap...so what if it has dragons and stuff who can fly and idiots playing around...What do they represent?...I represent a world view, enlightenment, progress - The way forward! 😤... so I should be a part of the cornerstone of this story!

Author: Ah, I see...but you've had your time to shine already. It is time for the story to move forward and hence we have to bring to the front more...more expressive members to the forefront to expand our horizon and vision. I'm sure you can understand that.

🐜: But I am the WAY forward! Why can't you understand this? The fans love me, they were all screaming for me, didn't you hear them?!

Author: Well... that was because they were randomly guessing...the situation has changed now.

🐜: You are ruining this story! You're ruining everything! You better bring me back or...or...

Author: Or what? 😐

**🐜's eyes dart around the office**

🐜: I'll sue!...Yes, I'll sue you!

Author:😂...For what? 🤨

🐜: For masking my greatness! Using me and then dumping me nonchalantly...

Author: 🤣 How cute...

🐜: I am being serious! You are looking down on me again, right?!...I am going to sue you for discrimination, false detention...yes! And also the mental trauma I consequently suffered!

Author: False detention? I am not holding you hostage, you walked in here yourself and you can leave whenever you want...Also, discrimination? how? You got your chance in the sunshine so move aside...

🐜: Discrimination for looking down on the ant kind and for not upholding our basic rights to equal opportunity...Ants have rights too, you know!

Author: 😑...Oy, I don't remember making you a smart ant, you were supposed to be ignorant, remember?...

🐜: Ignorant? Look, more discrimination! Why do you assume my mental capacity? Why do I have to conform to the mold you created?! I can think too you know...Just because I featured in your work doesn't make you the boss of me!...I am going to sue you for everything you're worth! Hmph, which I happen to have heard is not much to begin with 🤪😏...

**Author glares at 🐜**

Author: ...😶

🐜:😌Now I am open to negotiations, my terms are - 

Author: You're fired 😑

🐜: Fi-fired? Why?... This is an unfair termination! More discrimination!

Author: 😑

Lei Xing: I don't really think that I'll fly...evens humans don't inherently have a right to a stage, much less ants. Also, the contract, which you voluntarily signed, has a fire-at-will clause, so just-cause is not required for termination...Moreover, the ants civil rights movement has not made any progress these past few milleniums, so I'd say you don't have much of a case...

🐜: Hey! You should be on my side! We're a team! Our greatness is being stifled, we are being oppressed, we can't just idly sit by and be overshadowed!

Lei Xing: Um...sure... 👀

🐜: So you will support me, right? We need to band together to fight the system and pave the way for the ants! Let's start the Ant Revolution!!

Lei Xing: Sounds great...but I am a bit busy these days...you know, trying to get out the palace, stay alive...you know, life stuff...

🐜: So you're just going to abandon me?! Just like that?! I thought we had something special...we connected...and just like that?...Do you think you would be where you are today without me?! How ungrateful! 😤

**LX narrows her eyes**

Lei Xing:🤔Now that I think of it, it really could all be because of you...

🐜: That's right, it's all thanks to me, you should be grateful! 😤

Lei Xing: You were the one who got his stupid attention and gave him the idea of that stupid empress crap!

🐜: Wait, what are you talking about? 😕

Lei Xing: "Wise words"...don't you remember? 🤨

**🐜 slowly backs away towards the door**

🐜: 😢...Um, I think we all need to calm down here and rationalize the situation...we all had our roles to play... we shouldn't haphazardly cast blame about...

Lei Xing: 🤬!

**🐜 turns and rushes to the door, LX jumps him and grabs him in a chokehold***

🐜: Wait! Wait! Calm down and listen to me! All I did was pose for one painting!...Ahhh! Help! Help!...

Lei Xing: 🤬🤬🤬

**Author casually spins chair around to face the windows**

Author: 👀...the weather's really great today.

**Author calmly dials a number and puts the call on loud speaker**

Author: Hello, I need security up here...say in about 5 minutes...👀 actually make that 10 😈

...

🐜: I tried guys, I really tried...but I failed so🤕🤒...so 😭😭...Life is so unfair!!!

***

SETTLEMENT

Author: Okay, let's resolve this like reasonable peop- beings.

Lei Xing: *scoffs* Just let him go, it's not like he can do much damage anyway.

🐜: Animals have rights! Animal abuse is illegal! 

Lei Xing: You're an insect 😐

🐜: Insects are animals too!

Lei Xing: Whatever floats your boat 🙄

🐜: You will go to jail!

Lei Xing: Highly unlikely.

🐜: You - You will be fined!

Lei Xing: *Yawns* I think you have a better chance of being dissected.

🐜: W-Wh-What? 

Lei Xing: A life-size talking 🐜 isn't something you see every day...I'm sure I can find some people who will pay good money for you 😈...

🐜: ??😧

Lei Xing: You want to be a Star, don't you? Want to stand on a pedastal for the world to admire, right?...How about a spot in a science exhibit at the musuem? You get your own stage and everything...or if you don't want that, we can always just have your brain featuring in a -

🐜: 😰...

Author: That's enough *glares at LX* 🐜, While I'm sure all that sounds wonderful, I do believe we can come to some sort of agreement that is mutually beneficial, right?

🐜: ...but...

Author: Of course, you can go try to sue her for the accident...but you wouldn't get much, if anything...it was just an accident so just let it go.

🐜: ...S-She tried to kill me. *Points at LX, who is leisurely relaxing in a chair*

Lei Xing: *narrows her eyes at 🐜* It was an accident.

🐜: You tried to strangle me and then tried to smash me!

Lei Xing: You were in the way, I didn't notice you...sorry 🙄

Author: There, she has apologized, problem solved!

🐜: No, it's not! I'm still going to sue!... I'll go to the media! Yes, expose you all for being abusive and discriminatory to your employees!

Author:😒...Fine then, how about a payout?

🐜: That's negotiable 😌

Author: How much?

🐜: How much do you have?

Author: 🙄 Lei Xing how much can you pay?

Lei Xing: *scoff* zero

🐜: 😑

Author: Be serious!

Lei Xing: I am serious, I'm broke. 

Author: What about all that silver? 

Lei Xing: That's all in an investment account, can't be touched😌. Why don't you pay?😒

Author: Why should I?! 😠

Lei Xing: *Shrugs* An accident isn't exactly a crime, especially not in this case and the media stuff sounds like your problem so...goodluck? 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

Author: 😑

🐜: Well, then I guess we have no deal, you shall get my notice on the front page! 😤 *turns to the door*

Author: Fine then, go ahead...Try, sue and fail...make headlines, that'll blow over quickly...and then what? What's next for you?

**🐜 freezes**

Author: 😈...Go back home to the colony?...As a failure?...With dashed dreams?...Live your days foraging on a line?...Unfulfilled? Depressed? Have you forgotten how it was? *long understanding sigh*...You and I both know you have potential, but like anyone you need a stage to shine...I can give you that stage, I want to give you, YOUR stage!

**🐜 turns and looks at Author**

🐜: My stage?

Author: Yes, YOUR stage! You will be a Star! You are a star, THE STAR!! 🌠

🐜: Star? 😳

Author: Yes, stay and soar...or go and return to the assembly line...Your choice!

Lei Xing: Hey, why didn't I get a choice? **Author is currently conveniently temporarily deaf**

🐜: Soar😳...

Author: *whispers in 🐜's ear* To the sky and beyond...

🐜: *looks at Author earnestly* Really? 🥺

Author: Truly! I have it all set up for you...You're on way to the top!😎