So This is The End.

[28th December]

Tw: mentions of blood // swearing // mentions of death

With a sharp push of the brakes, Nick's car came to a halt at the gate of the park. He was about to get off but I stopped him. "No, Nick. Stay in the car, please. Call the cops and the medics, in case we need it." I was in a daze too. It was finally happening. Someone might be already dead. He nodded with a gulp before dialing someone on his phone.

I slammed the door shut and hurried into the place.

"Jay!?" I called, my voice echoing around the premises. I had anticipated a reply but all I got was a chilly silence. Nearing the carousel, I noticed a dusky figure in the snow. They were hunched on the ground, obviously struggling with something.

"Jay-!" my pace slowed when I realized there was another form sprawled on the slush, lifeless and unmoving. "Jay...?" my shoulders became tense as I stepped closer.

The person peered at me over his shoulder, his expression was hysterical and dreadful.

"Rikki!? W-what are you doing here??" I was at loss for words. My mouth became dry when Rikki shifted slightly and unveiled the lying body to be none other than...

Jay.

"Oh my god..." Rikki immediately dropped the knife that was clutched in his fist and got onto his feet.

"N-no please, Johnny. Don't misunderstand! Let me explain-!" I shoved him aside and dropped onto my knees before Jay, my lips starting to quiver. "What the fuck? T-this isn't supposed to happen!!" my trembling fingers hovered frantically over Jay as I stared down at him in incredulity, a million thoughts running through my mind. Why, why, why!?

Jay could come off as asleep if it wasn't for the blood that was caked on his forehead and steadily trickling down to his modestly shut eyes.

My eyes stung and tears were threatening to spill. Sight progressing down to the huge gory wound on his abdomen, my throat tightened. I could barely breathe. The view was too hideous.

"What the fuck did you do!?" I screeched at Rikki, voice filled with resentment and hostility. He looked extremely terrified; his hands wobbly as he started approaching me with wariness and a hint of desperation.

"Johnny, no... I didn't do it-"

"Fuck off!!" I hopelessly swatted my arm in his direction, urging him to stay away. All this for fucking love!? I scoffed in rising hatred.

"You fucking murderer!"

Rikki's face morphed into one of treachery but I couldn't care less. I was blinded by regret and bitterness. Regrets not for not suggesting Jay stay another night, regrets for not considering Nick's theory since it turned out to be true.

Regrets for not saying it back the second time.

My vision was getting blurry as I rocked Jay's freezing body with thin hopes that he would open his damn eyes. "Fucking wake up!" I shook harder, trying to ignore how much of his blood was oozing out and painting the icy ground crimson.

It was a terror, to perceive how the thick pigment of the blood contrasted with Jay's honey skin that was now the same shade as the snow beneath him.

I let my head drop onto his still chest, half given up. I wailed as I gripped onto his stained wool sweater.

My heart ached so much I didn't know I could feel such pain. It felt like it was getting ripped apart. It was tormenting.

His blood covered the entirety of my hands. The metallic stench clogged up my nose and reigned me breathless. I could almost taste it, even.

I didn't want to accept the truth. The fucking truth. Jay-Johnny's boyfriend, the advisor of our little group, and the precious only child...

was now on the brink of death in my arms.

I lifted myself from his chest to take another glimpse at his inhumanely ashen face. I opened my mouth to speak but my words got choked up instead. "Jay..." I whispered through sobs. "Wake up..." I gave his body a tired push but was only given the movement of his blood dribbling onto the snow.

"Didn't you say you'd take me out on a date? We can't do it if you're d-dead," my face scrunched up in dissipated anger and grief as more tears trickled down my cheeks. His winter jacket was soaked to the core with blood. I shook my head in denial. He can't be gone, no. "Wake up, please..." this feeling was unbearable, every inch of my body hurt and throbbed. I let out a scream in agony, fisting the coated snow below us.

"Johnny?!" Nick left his car against my command. His voice was nearing every time he called out but I didn't answer as I brought Jay into my arms again. "This wasn't supposed to happen..." I sobbed, salty tears dripping onto his clothed shoulder. "I'm sorry...I'm so fucking sorry, Jay."

"R-Rikki?" Nick finally found his way to the three of us as he now stood next to the youngest.

His confusion soon turned into horror and doubt when he saw us. "J-Jay..." he approached us, hesitantly dropping onto his knees as he glanced at all the blood that surrounded us. His stomach churned. "W-what the fuck happened???" I didn't respond. I barely had the energy to breathe.

I was desperately consuming the last of Jay's warmth before I disappear.

Before he disappears forever.

It didn't help that memories of us started flooding into my head then and there. It felt like my heart shattered into pieces and could never be repaired.

All the times Jay initiated the first move and held my hand securely in his, placed warm kisses on my forehead and nose at the most random times, the considerate meals he had surprised me with, and...

the shy grin he had on his blushed face when we first kissed under the snow.

I mourned at that remembrance, my lips quivered so much I didn't know how to stop it. Out of everyone,

why him, for fuck's sakes?

"Rikki? What happened?? Tell me!!" Rikki fumbled with his words and was about to speak when sirens sounded nearby. His face rapidly dropped in terror. "Nick, please...it wasn't me. It wasn't fucking me!!" Rikki hurriedly defended himself as he glanced at the gates multiple times, scared for his life to have a criminal record taint his reputation. He was only sixteen.

It was such bad timing. As I cried on Jay's body while the cops were racing over, I started feeling light. I immediately searched for my phone, the bright screen blinding my burning eyes for a split second.

11:59 pm.

Then I remembered what Lilith had told me.

'When the clock strikes twelve at twenty-nine of December, Johnny will return and your fate will be decided.'

"Fuck," my heart dropped. I can't go like this!! My breath heightened as I turned to Nick, who was tearing up and making his attempt to rouse his friend. "Nick," I choked up in my tears. I could hear the ambulance sirens from afar. He looked up at me.

"I-I," I couldn't stop the tears, knowing that there was nothing I could do to stop the time. "What? What is it?!" Nick screamed; his brows knitted. The cops apprehended the youngest.

"You're under arrest for first-degree murder!" the police declared. "It wasn't me!" Rikki denied all charges, tears prickling his eyes as they flew to us. "Nick! Johnny!! Please believe me! I didn't do it! I didn't fucking do it!!" whatever he said was muffled and blurred as my eyes struggled to stay open. "...Johnny?"

"Midnight-" before I knew it, all I could see was black as I fell unconscious, the last thing I heard was Rikki screaming that he was framed.

-

I gasped for air shortly after I woke up. "You've accomplished your mission!" a familiar voice congratulated me. "Lilith." she had a sad smile on her face. I assume she knew who took the fall instead. "Bring me back, please," I pleaded, yanking away the blanket on top of my lower half.

Lilith was taken aback as she forced out a laugh. "I can't do that in an instant! We have to go to-" she gasped when I abruptly grasped onto her shoulders.

"Bring me back now!!!" I screamed in her face, my grip tightening. She winced and squirmed. "Let go of me, you brat!" she jerked my hands off and rubbed her shoulders, scowling at me. I could feel the tears prickling in my eyes.

"One thing is for sure, Ethan." she glared at me disappointingly. "You are not here to fall in love!" she spat, loud and clear. "Then it's too bad..." I whimpered, dropping onto the end of the bed.

"Because I already had."

Lilith's eyes widened. "You-" she cleared her throat as she looked away. I glanced up at her hopefully, patiently observing as she was deep in her thoughts. Lilith may be a guardian, but she can sympathize.

"Listen," she began. "I'm only doing this once. I might get exempted for this but I was already dead to begin with-anyhow, please don't make mistakes." I immediately nodded my head, aggressively wiping my tears away. "I will avenge Jay if that's what will make you happy!" after all, I already knew who the killer was. Lilith groaned in exasperation.

"How on Earth is that supposed to make me happy!?" she stomped her feet. "Ugh, anyway," she raised her cigarette holder. "A stick-?" she blew on it and to my surprise, a bright light emitted next to her.

It blinded me for a split second. I opened my eyes and gaped at the portal she had opened. It was something straight out of a movie I had watched! Doctor Strange, was it? "Get in and finish your bonus mission." she urged, nudging at the gleaming gateway.

With a deep breath, I moved forward but paused when I was a step away. "Is..." I faced Lilith.

"Is Jay really dead?" I asked, hoping she'd know. She gave me a look of solemn. "He's holding on." was all she could offer. I nodded, biting my lip.

"Thank you."

Then, I stepped into the portal with a newfound determination.

-

I was positive I was reckoned to be Ethan. I was so certain that I even went to lengths to keep him by my side. So, what went wrong? Was there a technical difficulty with the portal? Was that even possible? If not...

Why did I wake up as Ethel?