Chapter1: They Always Call Me Kamphan

[Kamphan TankLampOwner]

My name isn't Kamphan.

It was something that had been pent up inside me for years, so long that I'd become accustomed to it and thought it wouldn't be a problem. Sure, in my freshman year, it wasn't an issue. But now, in my junior year, it's freaking terrible. Who in their right mind is named Kamphan? Even if I look good, it doesn't mean I can just go by any name.

I want to beg Pond to make an announcement for me, to let everyone know that my name isn't Kamphan. I want him to inform the locals that this was just a nickname they gave me. It all started with Pond shouting my name across the registration table. Then, after that, a pretty senior wrote this name on my name tag, saying with a smile, 'Welcome, little Kamphan.' In my naive mind at the time, I was like:

Hey! Are you serious?

At that moment, I was too clueless to ask for a change. Plus, the seniors' laughter and fun seemed so inviting that I, someone who liked to see others happy, didn't object. I figured I'd have to introduce myself to friends anyway. We'd have to ask each other's names, so who'd care about the name on these tags?

But I was wrong!

Ever since I stepped into this faculty with that name tag, the name everyone knew me by until today was...

"Kamphan!"

"Kamphan! Bring some water for the juniors over here."

"Hey, Kamphan! Have you prepared the snacks yet?"

"Kamphan! What are you looking for? Come here!"

"Kamphan!"

"Kamphannn."

"Kamphannnn."

I stood there, confused among all the busy people. Someone asked for my help, another called for me, and they treated me like I was free to help anytime. But I wasn't that free. In one hand, I held a pack of bottled water, and in the other, I carried two bags of snacks. If I didn't have to speak, I'd probably have had something in my mouth, too.

"Where's Mark?" That's what I managed to ask.

"He's swimming," someone in the crowd answered. If I'm not mistaken, his name is Pheam or Phum or something like that.

"If you're going to see Mark, take some food to the swim team there, too."

"Hey, Kamphan, we have leftover meal boxes from the sophomore year here. Did you give out too many?"

"Max told me to get some bottled water from you, Kamphan."

"Kamphan, hurry up and get those bottled waters to Mark. The kids there are about to chug chlorine instead of drinking water."

"Kamphan."

"Big bro Kamphan."

"Kum-Phaaaan."

"Damn it," I cursed under my breath, frustrated. I looked around, sighed, and felt utterly helpless.

I wanted to bring water to Mark, but I was tied up with the sophomore meal boxes issue. I wanted to prepare the snacks, but I couldn't even start moving from here. There was just too much to handle with the welfare work and too much responsibility as the head of this unit. I had to serve well to all the juniors, to friends, and a senior, and now everyone was calling for me, not even using my real name.

"Kamphan! Don't be slow!"

"Give me a hand here, Kamphan."

"The change is in the big wallet, Kamphan."

"Kamphan."

"Kum-Phaaaan."

"Kum-Phaaaaan."

"Yeah!" I replied irritably, not irritated by the workload but by everyone calling me by the wrong name. I wanted to shout my real name out loud, but all I could do was rush through the tasks at hand while internally screaming.

Damn it! My name isn't Kamphan.

I tried telling everyone this every year, but the seniors just ignored my words. No one cared to ask what my real name was. At first, Vee smiled and asked, 'Is your name really Kamphan?' I was happy he showed interest, but as soon as I clarified, he turned away and said, 'Whatever.' Yeah, because it was me. I wasn't Mark, his honey. I had to understand that.

"Hey, Tor, take me to the pool," I said, turning to the sophomore, who put his pen down from signing his name on the paper.

"Okay. I'm free anyway."

"Even if you're not, you have to go because I've got no one else," I told him.

"Poor thing," he said, taking the stuff from my hands, and I immediately felt a sense of relief with his help.

"Kamphan! Take the change first," someone called out after me.

"Just use it to buy the water!" I shouted back.

"Don't be gone too long, man!"

They weren't telling me not to be gone long because they'd miss me, but because the money was with me. So, naturally, everyone had to think about me.

At the university swimming pool, it was no longer the quiet place it had been months ago. Now, it bustled with an ongoing competition known as the Freshmen Sports Event—an event eagerly anticipated by many seniors, even though it might seem unrelated to them. However, it was directly related. The sports event, where the underclassmen competed, required the presence of upperclassmen to oversee and support them. Like me, for instance—I was about to bring food and water to the swimming competitors, and these kids were under the care of my close friend, Mark.

"Kamphan! Over here!"

"Kamphan."

"This is Kamphan."

"Is his real name actually Kamphan?"

"He's cute, isn't he?"

"It's Kamphan."

As I walked by, I noticed voices and gazes directed toward me. They looked at me like I was a weirdo, but I wasn't. I was just another handsome guy. Despite people often saying that I'm cute, I still insist that I'm very handsome. It's normal for people to look at you when you're good-looking, you know? But these guys weren't looking at me the way they looked at Mark or Fuse to admire their handsome prowess. They were looking and smiling because my name was Kamphan.

"Kamphan, my juniors are all starving."

"Then, go get food yourself next time," I replied as I set down the bags of boxed meals for them.

"My back's killing me. You walked too fast," Tor complained as he set down two packs of bottled water next to the pile of food.

"You brought Tor to help? I was worried about how you'd get here."

"Worried? But you didn't even fetch these yourself," I retorted.

"Hey... I'm busy, see? I'm all alone here," he said, nodding at a club member to distribute the food so they'd have the energy to continue swimming.

"Where's your friend?" I asked.

"He's off to see his wife[1]." 

I sighed when Mark replied like that. Glancing at my watch, I nodded. That guy was probably enjoying himself at the Faculty of Dentistry, leaving me here with all the manual tasks.

The whole reason I ended up being a welfare staff was that Mark wanted a buddy to do activities with, so he roped me and Fuse in. Of course, it was a given that someone as attached to his boyfriend as Fuse wouldn't actually do it. So, being a good friend, I signed up for the activities with Mark. That led to Mark being chosen as the hazer and me as the head of the welfare unit. At first, I thought it was just about serving food and drinks, but it turned out to be so much more. It started with checking headcounts, finding restaurants, comparing prices, dealing with vendors, paying the bills, and even delivering the food and drinks to everyone.

I don't have a problem with doing activities, but I do have a problem with my own friends.

"Kamphan, Big Bro Vee's coming,"

I heard someone say that, and yeah, I saw him.

"He's so handsome."

Yes. I saw that, too.

"I'm jealous of Mark. Just look at those passionate eyes; they could kill,"

"Why don't you stare at Vee a bit harder? Maybe Mark will kill you first," I turned and told Tor, who sighed.

"People who are single always get worked up about other people showing affection," he muttered under his breath.

"What did you say?" I asked.

"I said I wish I had a girlfriend. I've been single for too long," Tor replied.

"I don't think that's what you said earlier."

"Well, why ask if you already heard me?"

"Tor!"

"Are you arguing with a kid, Kamphan?" Vee approached and greeted me.

"Hello." I greeted him with a wai[2], and the kids followed suit.

"You don't have to be that polite with me," Vee said.

"Alrighty then, fucking hello there, Vee!" Tor teased Vee, who just stared back at him silently.

"Are you trying to be funny?"

"No, sir," Tor just gave him an awkward smile and moved back to his spot.

"Where's Mark?"

Vee was so clingy to his wife. That's what came to mind when I heard him say that. But all I could do was reply and point him in the right direction.

"In the changing room."

"Why is he changing again? Don't tell me he's going to swim. He's going to make me jealous again." Then Vee started complaining as he walked away, not caring about the confusion of the kids sitting there. Meanwhile, I sighed in annoyance at his wife-crazy antics.

"They really love each other," Tor commented.

"I wish someone would love me that much," someone said, making me frown.

"Don't you want someone too?" Tor asked me.

When people want to be in a relationship, reality usually doesn't align with their desires. And when people are actually in a relationship, it doesn't mean everything will be sunshine and rainbows. How much do we have to suffer to get to this point? Vee and Mark almost didn't make it. Fuse and Ana were on the brink of breaking up. To get past the lovey-dovey part, they went through a lot of bitterness, I tell you. If I ever find someone, I want it to be sweet from the start and avoid all the bitterness my friends went through.

"Hey, Kamphan, you've never been in a relationship before, right? I've never seen you with anyone."

"Yeah, never."

"Should I find one for you?"

"If you find someone like you, then I don't want it," I replied.

"Why not?"

"I don't want someone who's going to compete with me in being clueless. I don't like that."

"So, you're probably into the quiet, artsy types, huh? Like architects or fine arts students?"

"I might prefer someone from the business, law, or humanities faculty, you see," I said.

"No way, you and a business student? That doesn't fit."

"Why not? And how do I fit in with an architecture student?" I asked.

"It's cute, one artsy and one clueless."

"Are you implying I'm the clueless one?"

"I'm not implying..."

"But he just flat-out called you clueless." A calm voice came from behind, making me and the others turn to look. My juniors were all stunned... and I was no different.

He had a tall, lean figure with a handsome face matching his neat hairstyle. The overall features went well with his beautiful eyebrows and a straight nose that complemented his jawline. His sharp eyes looked at me silently. I didn't know what he was thinking, but he was incredibly charming. His lips, shaped like horn chestnuts, remained tightly closed after he spoke that sentence. And I really wanted to tell him that we shouldn't talk to strangers like this.

But this guy looked familiar.

"God Yoo..."

"Huh?" I turned to Tor when he called him that.

"He's not implying. He's outright insulting you," the person Tor called 'God Yoo' spoke again.

"No, no, I was just confused with what my junior called you," I said.

"Where's Vee?"

"Huh?" Did he even listen to me?

"I'm asking where's Vee. He came this way just now," he elaborated.

"That way..." I pointed towards the changing room, and then he nodded.

"Thanks," he said curtly and walked away while I could only stare at him.

"What the heck?"

"That's totally awesome."

"He's damn handsome."

"He's got such an aura."

"What's with you guys? Explain it to me," I said to the juniors who were gazing after him and talking like they were praising him.

"That was God Yoo just now. He's Vee's older brother." Tor explained.

"Yoo..."

"Yeah, Yoo Yatipat, the king Bee from the Faculty of Engineering and the prom king of the whole campus before Vee. He's handsome, cool, and composed. Everyone says he's arrogant, but I don't think so. If he were, he wouldn't have come up to greet us like that," I nodded along with the explanation. 

So, he's Vee's older brother. He's truly handsome and really arrogant. He didn't come to greet us, though. He just asked where his younger brother was. But Tor and the juniors were daydreaming, saying that he had come to strike up a conversation with us on purpose.

"Hasn't he graduated yet? Why is he still hanging around here?" I asked. I realized that if he was Vee's older brother, he should've graduated by now. After all, Vee had already graduated but acted like he hadn't because he wanted to keep looking after his wife.

"He graduated with honors, too. He's super smart, I tell you. But he hasn't taken a job yet; he's doing freelance design, working from home," Tor said, and I looked at him blankly.

"How do you know so much about him? Did you come to congratulate him on his graduation or take a class with him?" I asked.

"Come on. I like him so much. Even if he graduated a year ago, I'd still follow whatever he's doing now," he replied.

"So you're into guys?"

"Only the guys named Yoo and Vee."

I followed his gaze. Those two were undeniably handsome, and they shared a similar demeanor. But upon closer inspection, Vee seemed cuter. Of course, who would call Yoo cute after he showed up and said something like that? Just Vee sticking his nose into other people's business was annoying enough. And this Yoo was being a trash-talker like this. Did we even know each other? No.

"It seems you don't like Yoo, Kamphan." one of the juniors commented.

"Who wouldn't fall for God Yoo's charm?" Tor said.

I followed Tor's gaze to the tall figure. Yoo stood chatting with Vee, and next to Vee was Mark. Vee nodded when Yoo looked at him, and then Mark glanced over at me. At that moment, the handsome guy I had just met also followed his gaze. Our eyes met from a distance that seemed worlds apart, and he raised an eyebrow as if curious about something about me.

"Me."

"You're not charmed by him?"

"I mean, I am," I admitted. I was truly and deeply charmed by him, just like anyone else would be. But maybe even more so because right now, he was smiling at me.

"If that smile couldn't shake your heart, I'll let you kick my butt," Tor said.

Indeed, a captivating smile like that would win over just about anyone.

"Take it down a notch, Yoo." I heard Vee say as they approached us.

"What did I do? I haven't even done anything yet," Vee's older brother protested, but his eyes were still on me.

"Kamphan."

"What?" I jolted awake from my thoughts when my friend called out.

"Aren't you going back to check on things at our faculty?" he asked. I turned to look at Tor.

"Yeah, let's go," I replied. But before I could go, I unintentionally locked eyes with Yoo again. I didn't mean to keep making eye contact, but it seemed like he'd been watching me.

"Yoo."

"What now, Vee?" Yoo turned to Vee with an annoyed expression.

"That's my junior."

"He's not your wife, so don't act so possessive."

"He's my friend." Mark stepped beside me and spoke up.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, he won't be able to keep up with you. Just let him go."

"Wait, Mark, I'm not that clueless," I turned to my friend and defended myself.

"No, Kamphan, you are THAT clueless," my friend insisted.

"Is your name Kamphan? I forgot to ask earlier," Yoo said.

"Yes, it is."

"Yoo..."

"Such a strange name for a cute one."

"Yoo!" Vee called out to his brother with a stern voice, and Yoo turned to give his younger brother a calm expression.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm leaving now," Yoo said before walking away from the scene.

"Wait..." He was too fast, or maybe I was too slow. Before I could call out his name, he'd already walked away.

"Don't get involved with him," Vee warned.

"He's dangerous, Kamphan," Mark also advised.

"But he's also incredibly charming, you know?" Tor teased.

"Tor!"

"Come on, don't be mad at him. I just wanted to say he dropped his wallet there," I said, pointing down at the floor.

"Thanks, my lovely little bro," Vee said, patting my shoulder gently.

"Vee, I'm curious about what's inside the wallet of an architect guy," Tor said, bouncing over to Vee.

"You'll find out soon enough with me," Vee replied.

"What's in it?" the other juniors crowded around, looking curious.

"He has twenty baht here," Vee said, pulling the money from Yoo's wallet.

"Aw..."

"What?"

"That's not as exciting as I thought."

"Both of you are totally ridiculous," Mark said dismissively, then walked over to grab the leftover meal box.

"I... I'm heading back to my faculty then," I told him when everything quieted down.

"Don't wander off into the architecture building," Vee said.

"Why would I go there?" I turned back to ask.

"Just by the way you look at him, I can tell, Kamphan, that you like him," Vee answered.

"No, I don't," I defended myself, even though my heart was racing.

"You can't even lie. How do you expect to match wits with that jerk?" Vee said, shaking his head.

"Go on, head back to your faculty. Tor, take good care of him, okay?" Mark instructed.

"Are you worried I'd do something to someone?" I retorted.

"Nah, You wouldn't; I'm more worried about who might do something to you."

I sighed and glanced at my friend, who then raised his eyebrows at me. Without hesitation, I turned and headed back to Tor's car. I hated how they treated me like a kid, as if I were still seventeen or eighteen. Wasn't he the same age as me and even got a boyfriend? As if I haven't had my own share of experiences. Vee, too, acted all protective, warning me not to fall for his older brother. As if everyone was supposed to fall for him. Sure, my heart fluttered a bit, but I wasn't that gullible.

I'm Kamphan, not Mark!

I rode to the faculty with Tor. He was still my reliable driver, remaining silent even though I could tell he wanted to ask me about a lot of things.

"What is it? Do you want to say something?" I asked as he glanced at his phone and then looked up at me.

"Well, I... Can I stop by the architecture faculty building to pick something up from my friend?"

"Why not? Go ahead," I replied.

"Well, Vee said that you shouldn't go there."

"You guys might consider Vee to be like your dad, but not me. If I want to go, I'll go," I said, giving him a stern look.

"Okay."

The Faculty of Architecture.

It's not far from the Faculty of Engineering at all. To put it simply, the areas are adjacent, but I've never set foot there before. I've only ever passed by occasionally. I didn't expect it to be this beautiful. Even just looking from inside the car, I can tell it's well-designed and constructed.

"Should we get out?" Tor asked.

"Aren't you waiting for your friend to bring something here?" I inquired.

"Nope. My friend's in class, so I'm going there to get it."

"Whatever."

"So, let's get out. Leaving the car running is bad for the environment," Tor said, glancing around at the many trees in the surroundings.

"I'll wait on the bench over there," I said, pointing to a nearby bench.

"Okay. I'll be quick."

"Sure," I replied, and I got out of the car just as he hurriedly locked it and went to fetch something from his friend.

I walked around and looked at the building, taking in the atmosphere I'd never experienced before, even though I'd been studying here for two years. It wasn't until my third year and two months that I stumbled upon this spot. And, coincidentally, the God of the faculty was also here.

"Are you following me?" a handsome voice asked.

"Wh-"

"You like me that much?" he asked, his voice rising in pitch.

"No, it's not like that..." I began to reply, but before I could finish, he interrupted.

"I just gave you a causal smile back there, you know," he said, his gaze steady and almost emotionless.

"I didn't mean..."

"Huh! Such a naive kid," he said, then turned away. His gaze seemed meaningful, yet too emotionless for me to discern any feeling behind it. What I knew was that there was no joy in it. He wasn't happy with people falling for him. It was as if he pitied me for falling for him so easily. It was like he wanted to check if I saw him the way he thought, and then he'd just leave.

That snub behavior of his...

He was too dismissive of other people's feelings and so full of himself. Who did he think he was? Just because he was popular and could win people over easily, did he believe he could look down on anyone all he wanted, treating others like they were beneath him? I wasn't scared, whether it was the ArchGod or some hotshot engineer. I might be a bit slow and not confrontational, but I wasn't a coward, damn it!

He thought I'd easily fall for him so he could do whatever he wanted with me, didn't he?

Yes... you're right, Yatipat.

----------------

[1] The term 'wife' here is used to refer to a boyfriend. In Thai culture, it's common for people to use the terms 'husband' and 'wife' to describe their roles in a relationship, regardless of their gender.

[2] It's a traditional Thai greeting.