Ikigai

[Ikigai]

»Warning: Redundancy is ensured, also cliches.

Ikigai (生き甲斐, pronounced [ikiɡai]) is a Japanese concept that means "a reason for being." The word translated to english roughly means "thing that you live for" or "the reason for which you wake up in the morning."

I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing, it's been days since I had a decent rest. I looked at my phone screen and saw that it's 7 am, I took a deep breath and rubbed my eyes, not really having the energy to get out of bed, but eventually I did, while I was preparing my breakfast a thought entered my head.

"Why do I even wake up?, what fuels me to wake up in the morning?." I stopped and stared at the hot oil popping against the heat of the cooking pan, a lot of bad thoughts entered my head. It was like a person against an army, I turned off the fire in the stove and went to the living room,sat on a chair then stared at the wall.

"Who or what do I live for?." I mumbled and asked myself, and then I remembered.

Waking up isn't suppose to be for one person only, they can be your strength, yes but there's a lot of reason to live.

I live to see someone else's smile because of me, I live because I know despite the hardships the future might get better, I live because life is a roller coaster it's not always down,it would eventually go up. I live because life is cruel and beautiful and I want to be a part of it.

You see, while I was swimming in my thoughts I realized that I have to face reality sooner or later, I have to know that life isn't going to change itself for me. Instead I make the change. Either change the situation I'm in or my mindset about the situation. Don't always look at the dark side instead find a solution and work hard to solve a problem.

People come and go, some would leave a fire that would burn forever in your heart while the others leave darkness, we should just be thankful for all the lessons we learned from them, I'm also learning to start loving myself, because people kept saying in order to love others you should first learn to love yourself.

I'm tired of my sad litanies and I wanted to break free, I know it's a slow process and healing isn't really linear, I know there are things that would make it seem impossible but hey..I'm choosing to be happy, I'm choosing to be the person that you can lean on and depend on.

Remember life goes on, learn to continue

Don't ever think of a game over once a problem happens, it happens to make you stronger, learn to smile in the face of adversity, never lean towards the things that will worsen the conflict. Life is an adventure, everyday has a new surprise waiting for you.

You might think that everyday is just a repeating cycle of boredom, No. You can do something to change it. No one is in control of your life but you, I want you to know that you are loved, someone in your life loves you more than you think. Please be happy. Don't do it for me or the people you love, Do it for you.

I had an epiphany and my Ikigai is chasing my happiness.

So, i'm wishing for your happiness too.