I know

Me and that guy named Aidan are currently just walking into the city, if you can even call it like that, when several people come out of their houses and look at me in confusion. Maybe they are just irritated though.

The feeling of uncomfortabilily grows and my heart starts to beat hardly against my ribs while my cheeks are heating up pretty bad and the stares feel like burn marks in my back. The anxious feeling around loads people is agreeing to slowly crawl up my spine and cause me to shivers, my neck hairs going up through the awkward feeling.

Fastly, I focus back on the ground in front of me and don't lift my view before we arrive inside the middle seized house at the end of the path where I am walking with Aidan.

I take a shaky breath and I prepare myself for everything possible which could happen for the rest of my life.

Let's be honest. Who knows how long we are anyway going to survive this hell hole. I mean, we aren't even twenty people and we are also only teenagers who have nothing but games, girls, guys or nb's, alcohol and drugs in their heads.

Wait...that wasn't my serious.

Did you actually believe me?

I mean, yeah. Most have indeed other people in their heads, but the drugs and alcohol thing isn't countable.

We may be teenagers ,but that doesn't mean we all are crackheads or a disaster.

If a generation can handle our situation, it is this one.

I look up at Aidan who already sits down on the sofa, fixing some stuff he is holding in his hands apparently.

Focusing a bit more on him without even noticing that I do it, I start to recognize a lot about him.

The small scar on his thumb which kind of looks like it is waved, his warm hazel colored eyes or even his a little ruffled light brown hair.

''You can look around if you want. I don't mind.'' Aidan snaps me out of my staring and I flinch a bit, my cheeks flushing when I recognize I was staring.

Hesitantly, I sit down next to him and look down at the floor again.

I want to know what I forgot so badly, that I would probably risk everything for it.

''Uh, Aidan?'' I ask carefully and glance down at my hands, feeling embarrassed to even ask that.

''Yeah?''

''What did I forget?'' I sigh repeatedly, but don't get an answer for several seconds. Lifting my head, I am able to seeing how Aidan is visibly struggling with himself.

''A lot.'' He leans back and I raise an eyebrow.

''Can you..I don't know...tell me about it?''

''What exactly?''

''Everything...?''

I gulp heavily when I see Aidan's look in his face.

Maybe I shouldn't have asked so randomly. He looks hurt. Not from me, but maybe from the fact that I forgot everything.

Forgot him.

Friendships.

Maybe even relationships.

God I even forgot my gender and sexuality.

''I don't know everything. You should walk around and also ask the others after I told you what I know.''

I nod carefully and look at him again.

''So?'' My eyes try to find his but Aidan remains silent until everything suddenly bursts out of him.

''Okay. I'm sorry. This might be a lot. Age of seven, when we started to go to elementary, you were always alone. I think you just moved there and had no friends so far. So, one time when these assholes from one year above us were threatening you, Finn and me got between it and helped to get you out of the situation,'' He chuckles sadly as he pauses.

''Afted that, we went for talking to you and I swear, I never saw someone as trustworthy as you. Whatever, two years later your parents divorced and you got stuck with your Mom which, sadly, turned into an alcoholic and kicked you out of the house later at the age of thirteen because you came out as Trans to her. Because Finnegan wasn't there at the time, you slept in my basement for several weeks until the police came by and had to bring you back home.

At the age of fourteen, things weren't easy because people are mean and didn't accept you the way you are. Of course we, or at least I, wasn't going to let people keep harassing you so I started to..bully..the people which weren't nice to you. Yeah, I know. Bitch move, right?'' He sighs shakily, eventually tearing up a little at that bit.

''Hey you-- you don't continue if it's too much.'' I smile at him weakly but he just keeps talking.

It is his decision in the end.

''After a year, you got happier again. You suffered under depression a long time, I'm kind of glad you forgot about that part uh, oh and when you turned sixteen, we threw a party at my house when my parents weren't there and the neighbors called the police on us so everyone needed to run or hide. Yeah. That was great.'' Aidan laughs weakly with tears in his eyes and I have to smirk a little.

Why me? Why did I forget this?

I want this memories to be mine again.

I want to be me.

The true me.

''Thank you.'' I smile at him thankfully and start to fumble on the fabric of my shirt again nervously.

''Don't thank me yet. We need to find away for you to get everything back.'' Aidan sighs again before standing up and walking towards the large window in the livingroom.

''Yeah.'' I start looking around and notice that nothing actually seems realistic.

The curtains look too gray combined with the too bright, white wall.

The pictures in the brown frames seem to fade or just printed out.

If you get a glimpse into the kitchen, it is way too clean to be normal and everything you sit on is awkwardly uncomfortable.

''I am actually quite tired, could you show me where I can sleep...?'' My eyes begin to feel tired again and I get back up, following Aidan through the house into the second floor and to a room with one white bed, a light brown colored desk and a closet.

Wow. Creative layout.

''Yeah..sleep well.'' With that words, Aidan goes back out of the room and I am able to hear his last steps on the stairs before I already fall into my bed and asleep.