Fidel and Uncle Basyang

Fidel was at his wit's end, going through the most depressing time of his life.

Others might think a man's weenie falling off literally isn't that bad, especially if it doesn't hurt in the first place. Others are even suffering from cancer and other terrible diseases, making them feel excruciating pain 24/7. But that's not the point! Sure, it was tough for them but knowing other people are suffering more than you doesn't make it any easier for you.

It's the man's pride we're talking about here. You understand?

He wanted to get married too, make a family, have kids and stuff. He's already twenty-eight and he was aware he was running out of time. But then there's this peculiar disease even an expert couldn't cure.

The urologist suggested snipping it off to avoid infections and also to avoid it from spreading to his testicles but there is no way, literally no way Fidel was gonna let that happen.

And so, he made a decision. There was an old saying, 'A person in desperate need will cling even to the knife's edge.' And he was desperate. Very desperate.

He grabbed his phone and opened the app called weddit and started typing.

AnonymousUncle: Good day, everyone! I'm asking for a friend. We wanted to ask for your opinion on this matter. You see, the situation is kind of weird. I know it might sound stupid but hear me out. Let's just say an invaluable part of your body has started to rot and needs to be cut off for medical reasons. My friend doesn't want it cut off and if possible, he wants to find other ways to heal it. And then just yesterday, a suspicious person told us about a quack doctor who was "apparently" good. Any thoughts? [2 hours ago]

The wait was making Fidel anxious. And then…

*ping!

He got a reply.

Algorithm_Bender: I am disabled. My right hand is to be amputated because it is fired with a broken sparkling firecracker in the new year many many years ago. I believe my hand is invaluable too. It is tough and hard and sad and bullies in school are angry like a bull but I is going stronger each time. #FIGHTING!!! P.S. Sorry my language is bad. I only used the wooble translate on my phone. 😣 [19 seconds ago]

"No. You don't understand Mr. Algorithm_Bender or if you're even a man at all. I'd rather have my one hand cut off than my… ugh!" Fidel felt like crying again.

*ping!

Another notification.

Hiraya_22: Isn't it fine? The doctor quack, I mean. We call them albularyo in our place. And ah! I live in the province of Dimahanap. Sorry, I searched you up just now and found out you live in Straestin that's why. Anyways! As I was saying, give it a try. There's nothing to lose anyway. But keep in mind you must have faith or it won't work. Good luck! — a random person trapped in her grandma's basement (definitely not an SOS). [1 minute ago]

"Ha! Should I go?"

And for the nth time, he had a mental breakdown.

AnonymousUncle: [replied to Hiraya_22] Thank you but… are you okay? [32 minutes ago]

Hiraya_22: [replied to AnonymousUncle] Of course, AnonymousUncle! Not bragging but I'm actually stronger than I look. [2 seconds ago]

***

"Isa, our eldest. Did I hear it correctly? You went to THAT place?" It was Tulo. "But that's taboo!"

"I know. I know, Tulo. But how could I possibly let that pass? Besides, it wasn't in vain."

"Whatever you say, sister. So? You're saying we just have to find this person who wasn't even a month's old. And as if that wasn't hard enough with how big Straestin is, we also have to make sure he grows up well?"

"Exactly, Duha. It shouldn't be that hard, right?" Isa was grateful her sisters seemed to be getting her point but something was amiss, however. "Right?" she repeated when she saw her sister's reluctant faces.

"Uh, our eldest. When was the last time you went out of Marhwan again?" Duha asked.

"I just returned the other day. You know that."

"No, sister. What Duha meant was outside the border. With REAL humans."

"Aaah! Then, maybe… more or less forty years ago."

"See? It's not the same as it was, our eldest. As ignorant as they may be of their own history, they surely aren't stupid. They've advanced far too much; they already developed a weird device that can capture otherworldly creatures. If I remember correctly, I think they call them cameras."

"And what about that?" Isa was confused. "I don't see any problem with that, my dear sisters. Besides, we're humans! Let's just do what we're—"

"No. It's a big deal, our eldest." Tulo interrupted. "Those devices are located everywhere. We can't move as freely as before. It doesn't discriminate against any creature. It captures everything and everyone. Besides, you seem to be forgetting something."

"What?"

"That excommunicated fool was outside too. Remember?"

***

If there was something Fidel was really confident about himself, it would be his face.

He was a nice-looking lad. The epitome of tall, dark, and handsome. Quite a heartthrob in his high school days. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say he made countless women cry once upon a time.

He reached puberty earlier than most of his classmates and by the age of fifteen, he had his first sex.

He remembered being so antsy for days, fearing he had impregnated his neighbor and childhood friend but it would be a lie to say he didn't enjoy it.

'I put it on properly, right?' He tried to ask himself multiple times. That was his first experience and he feared he wore the condom wrong. Fortunately, he didn't. Though it was regrettable he didn't get see her again because she transferred to another school due to her father's work.

It was part of his dark and most embarrassing past but he was a total chuuni too! Acting like the leader of their high school gang and all. But mind you, they're no bully. A peculiar gang in charge of protecting the weak. He was still drunk by the idea of superheroes and justice.

He had that 'bad boy' image during that time that for whatever, unexplainable reason, girls are attracted to.

He had a change of heart when he graduated university. Anyone would if they suddenly had to face the horror brought by finally becoming an adult.

But life is all about balance and everyone is going to face the consequence of their actions somehow.

He fooled around way too much; he never had any serious relationship. He continuously regretted all the time he had wasted.

Time flew by so quickly and when he turned twenty-five, he became successful in life. Had his own house, his own car, insurance, investments, and bank savings… There was nothing else he wanted other than to finally settle down, get married and have a kid or two. But there was one thing missing. The most important thing he needed for his dream. A woman.

He did hook ups in the past but he hates it with a passion now. Every time he finds someone who is wife-material and he shows the slightest hints of wanting to settle down, they would disappear faster than you could ever imagine and not show up ever again. They all turned into ghosts somehow.

He imagined that they probably assumed he was one of those guys who sends nudes and dick pics after first meetings. Wanting to do the deed but had zero plans for commitment.

No words could ever explain how much it hurt his ego. 'Did I say something wrong? Did I overdo it? What? Am I ugly or something?' Then his journey to self-doubt began.

When he turned twenty-seven, he was starting to panic. 'I am getting older. I am running out of time.'

Then three months before he turned twenty-eight, he was invited to a wedding. It was his classmate in high school. That one nerdy kid who wore thick, rectangular glasses, mismatched socks, and someone who performed terribly at P.E..

He got married to a foreigner he met on a dating app. Fidel was jealous. 'I wanted one too!' He stopped caring about the woman's looks some time ago. He just wanted someone to marry him! Anyone!

But that seemed to be even more far-fetched now with his current situation.

That is why even if it goes against all sorts of logic, not scientifically-proven at all, and uses unconventional methods. He decided to have faith in this quack doctor for once.

'You're my last hope. Please don't let me down. I'll bet everything on this. I'll pay whatever price you demand if you can heal me,' he thought with burning passion.

However…

"I don't accept money," says the man who wears a worn out long-sleeved shirt, folded until just below the elbow, loose pants, and different necklaces and trinkets, supposedly for protection and to ward off evil spirits. "You can call me uncle Basyang. You can offer small donations like fruits and vegetables. Just not money. I won't accept it."